There are a lot of things I’ve been thinking about this tragedy. I’ve been somewhat glued to the news stories about it. I think it is really quite interesting that he actually took the time to do all that in between the two shootings and actually had the guts to return to do more damage. I’m not giving him props, I’m just saying I really want to hear whatever he had to say that he took that much effort to say it and understand what would lead a person to do such a thing. It is horrid what happened. I read some of the stories about the victims and their families and there was so much hope and future there. It is so sad. More of what I’ve been thinking is on the spiritual level. Only because a friend of mine has asked me questions about it.
Number one, does a person that commits suicide automatically get sent to hell? In my theology, no. At one time in my life, I would have answered that differently. I believe if a person is lost, meaning not saved, not a Christian, does not believe that we are sinners, Christ, the perfect Son of God died for us, rose three days later and is coming to get us one day kind of lost then that’s automatic don’t go to heaven ticket. It grieves me, but I believe it to my core. As for Christians, I simply believe once you have put your faith in Christ, nothing can take that away. And even if you don’t confess even your last sin, it was all forgiven when you accepted Christ. My heartfelt hope is that if someone is truly a Christian that they couldn’t feel that low and do that, that somehow the Holy Spirit inside them would stop them, but I am sure it has happened and I just plainly believe that nothing can take us out of His grip once we’re in it.
Number two, is it God’s will that these students were killed? This one is not as easily answered. You have to have the big picture of your (my) theology answered to understand it. But I’ll do my best. The simple answer is no, it was not God’s will for these students to die. God never wills evil or desires bad things to happen to people. In fact I believe God is incredibly sad right now, his tears are just as fresh as the mothers and fathers of those students. He made all 32 of those students and is grief-stricken their life was taken. But the truth of the matter is a really long time ago, God created man and gave him free will. And in so doing, man CHOSE evil. One evil, no matter what it is (white lie or murder or any disobedience of God) was enough to mar the perfection of God’s creation and God cursed man and He cursed the woman and He cursed the land. And in the same way a lemon seed only produces lemon, man could only produce sinful, cursed man. And hence we have 6 billion sinful men with free will. And this 23 year old one CHOSE to kill 32 people on April 16, 2007. Did God will that? No! God detests evil. Can God use that in His plan? Yes, that is why He is God and not I. I choose to believe that in all things, God works all things together for those who love Him and He can and will bring something good out of this for someone. People will draw closer to Him for comfort. People will realize their paths could be short and change it. Is that WHY it happened? No! But God is gracious and merciful enough to love us through this and comfort those families and bring something good out of it. He is just as sad and is mourning those people like we and their families are. And even for the killer. You know, it’s easy for me to have this viewpoint but God created him too. And He really wanted a relationship with him. He didn’t want all this evil and anger for him. He had a perfect plan for him but he chose not to accept that. I don’t know if it had ever been presented to him but the fact that he talks about Jesus in his writings makes me think he had and had rejected him. And that makes God sad too and certainly wasn’t His will. Which as a Christian, gives me a burning desire to spread God’s love and let people as lonely and angry and depressed as him know that there’s more out there. That there’s a God that loves them no matter who they are or how much money they have or what they look like. And God has a perfect plan for them filled with blessings and love and joy. I can’t imagine my life without that. God has kept me close to His side [as much as I would let Him] for almost 22 years now and I’m just so thankful.