This has been some crazy days around here since Thursday. Thursday I went and had my appt with the counselor. D ended up helping out here with the girls so I could go to the conference this weekend. Then Sunday was spent at church and then the four of us went to see Shrek the Third.
So I basically had some breakdowns this weekend. It’s been some time coming I guess. After Thursday’s session, I was in conversations with mom and told her what had been up between me and Scott. In short the counselor had said basically Scott was treating me bad and the “stuff” at work last year was an escape mechanism for me. Basically it all is a result of our relationship vs. me thinking they were two separate issues. So Scott and I have done some talking and I’ve done a lot of praying and crying and forgiving and pleading. Scott seems to really have “gotten it” this time and I’m hoping to see some changes in the future. I’m really not sure how much I can take. Not that we’re talking separation by ANY means but I can’t take any more stress…I’d have to quit something so I could just deal with the stress. Mom still thinks I’m doing too much and need to cut back but honestly I don’t know what else to cut back.
I’ve been feeling sort of just “low” and “empty” since Saturday. But today I’m feeling a little more hopeful. Scott wrote me a sweet little story about us and I star as a flower lol. Which is actually odd because I had written a little story about me as a flower right after everything happened last year. It seems almost prophetic or something.