Archives for 2009

After my pity party post yesterday, I pitied myself some more and then read a few blog posts about the latest Compassion blog trip and then my sister in law got put in the hospital and I woke up to Veteran’s Day and I just did one of those get over yourself pep talks.

So I think I’m going to join the Y again.  I know I enjoyed it while I was there  and I eat better when I’m exercising and I really should be more concerned about my health and I’ll never forget that I dropped my cholesterol 30 points when I went last time so yeah, I’m going to do it.

I just realized this whole post has only been 3 sentences so far.  Can you tell I just drank a latte?

So while I enjoy my day off and probably go join the Y, pretty please go follow the folks that are blogging from El Salvador: Kelly, Heather, Molly, Keely, Shuan and Patricia.  And then go sponsor a child and we’ll all make a few lives a little better today.

I’m about to have a pity party of epic proportions.  Avert your eyes lest you begin rolling them.

I’m having a really crappy day.  And it’s not because anything has been bad.  It’s all in my head.  Thoughts, opinions, things I keep telling myself.  Mostly about my weight.  I should be all happy I saw myself on TV last night and trust me, I was.  Just ask Mom and Heather who heard me literally screaming I was so excited.  But there was one scene where they shot a full back shot of me and it was in a scene with India and Joy and they are like toothpicks and I had this awful shirt that flairs and makes me look bigger anyway because mainly is a size too small for me and doesn’t hit me in the right place but I like to wear it because Scott bought it for me and it wasn’t cheap and anyway, I looked wide.  And I’m irritated because I don’t feel like I can complain about that just because all the jeans in my closet are a size 2.  Everyone rolls their eyes and says get over yourself. 

But you know, I have bad days too. 

When my jeans are too tight and it hurts to sit and my one little roll rolls over the top of my jeans.  Well, I don’t care if they’re a size 2, it doesn’t feel good.   And when you step on a scale and you’re weighing more than you ever had sans a child in your belly to blame it on, it doesn’t feel good.  And when you know you’ve been eating like crap and not doing any exercising except opening a piece of Halloween candy, you know you have no one to blame but yourself.  And it’s awfully depressing thinking about the fact that the worst thing I ever did was quit the gym and buy an elliptical.  And I hate myself that I can’t do one more day of the 30 day shred after my 30 days were up.  I hate that I’m that lazy.  And I hate that I can’t say no to root beer at  Chick fil a.  And some may say throw out all your size 2’s and buy size 4s and enjoy your root beer.  But you know what, no, I’m not going to let myself go down that slippery slope.  Because then I’ll be 3 more sizes down the line and maybe add some diabetes and a heart attack.  And I’m as serious as a heart attack right now because that’s how it happens.  People give up one size at a time.  One piece of Halloween candy at a time. 

And it all makes me think about the sermon on Sunday.  He talked about having integrity in the little things so when the big things come, we choose what’s best.  We choose what’s right.  And how I walked away thinking, that’s not quite right.   Sometimes the little things ARE the big things.  One picture on the Internet, one mishandled conversation, one cigarette, one drink, one lie.  All those bad decisions that are small but done over and over are addictions and divorce.  The little things matter.  So it irritates me that the Halloween candy matters.  That this stupid cup of root beer matters.  Because GUESS WHAT?  I don’t WANT to go back to the gym.  I don’t WANT to go running.  I don’t WANT to do the 30 day shred.  I don’t WANT to eat fruit and vegetables.  But all of those added up could mean I would lose these stupid 8 pounds I want to lose.  So today, I don’t know what I’ll choose…what I want to do or what’s best.  Right now I’m finishing my root beer from Chick fil a.  I may avoid the piece of Halloween candy this afternoon or not.  I know for sure I’ll look in the mirror just before I take my size 2 jeans off tonight and complain that they’re tight and I have a muffin top.  I’ll grimace when I look at the scale in the morning.  Besides that, I don’t know.  I just don’t know if I can do what’s right this time.

And y’all, that makes for a crappy day.

Another IKEA trip means a few pictures are in order.

We bought some of these wire rack thingies and thought the playroom was a great place to display the kids’ art.

I love the face on that guy on the bottom left.  The second row, second picture looks like a butterfly to me but it’s just random painting by Lexi.  Top row, far right is one of my favorite family pictures Emma did to date.  She has us all labeled, even our dog.

Close-up of the wire.  Please ignore the crayon on the wall.  I like to think the creativity is just spilling over right onto the room.  Yes, Mom, I”ll get a Magic Eraser right on that.

Finally got a frame for their picture.

This is not actually from IKEA but Southern Living. I took all of our pictures where we were eating/out to eat and put them on the pantry door.  The funny thing is I showed Scott, not letting him in on that fact and he says, “Wow, they sure do like to eat.”

The only change in our bedroom are the picture accent lights.  I turned these on last night right after dark and loved walking by and seeing it!  It was so inviting!

We have some more shelves we bought for our bathroom but they haven’t gone up yet.  Always something to do!

On another note, we went to the lighting store to finally get pendant lights for the kitchen, sconces for the living room and a light for my office and the lady was absolutely no help.  And in fact, almost rude. So still no movement there. 

Oh and one more note, Sally who started this whole renovation thing is back at my Mom’s shop for a class tomorrow night!  I would love to show her all the stuff we’ve done.  And if you’re in the area, come check it out.  It’s $20 and all proceeds go to charity.

I won’t do a long post on the (family) party except to say it was completely last-minute (just because I’m a procrastinator) and absolutely nothing matched but it all turned out really well.  And really, when you get to watch someone be this excited about hangers and OxiClean, the plates don’t seem to matter.

And this, well, you must know how I feel about that…

See the full set here

OK, I can’t help.  I saw myself on TV tonight for all of .001 seconds and I’m a wee bit excited.  Next week is the premiere of One Tree Hill’s episode 9 where I extraed for two days.  First today, a still came out that I made it in.  It’s only the back of my head but I’m there!

And then tonight for the promo, you could see me!  It was only the side of me, but I was there!  First, here’s the promo.

And you say, wait, what?  I didn’t see Amy in there.  But wait, (Heather and) I actually recorded a video of the play-by-play.

Go back and check :15-:16 in the promo. So yeah, I’m hoping next week goes a leetle better but omg, I’m in an episode of One Tree Hill!