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Archives for 2012

Bedtime Snuggles and Doing Unto Others

August 23, 2012 by Amy 2 Comments

I failed as a parent Monday night.  I tucked the girls in, read our devotional, prayed and then told them to go to sleep.  School was starting in two days and they needed to be rested.  Emma leaned over as I was moving away and asked for me to lay with her.  While I have said yes many times in the past, I said no.  Then she leaned over with begging wide-eyes and said Please. I won’t always want you to lay with me.  And I looked at her and said no again.  I told her I’d lay with her tomorrow and get to sleep and walked out of the room.  I had that nagging, dark reminder from anyone who’s ever lost anyone, you might not have tomorrow.  But I left anyway.

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God was gracious and gave me Tuesday night and you can bet your bottom dollar I laid with both of my girls.  We talked about their teachers and their classrooms and who they were excited to see on the first day of school the next day.   I gave them all the reminders about school…to obey their teachers, talk to someone new, don’t talk when the teacher is talking, treat others like you want treated, etc.

The conversation seemed to drift towards Lexi and a friend she’s not too excited about having in her class.  She likes her ok but she’s mean to her and so she has a tendency to be mean back.  But we went over loving our enemies.  Emma really got into it and made Lexi roleplay.  We stressed saying or doing something nice even when she says mean things first.  Hilarity ensued as we came up with some silly, funny responses.

We did our devotions and our prayer and I left the room again, remembering how much I loved those few minutes before bed.

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I posted yesterday morning about their first day and askied for wisdom from older parents on how to savor the time.  I got one tiny response on Twitter.

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Of course her advice was on snuggling and bedtime.  I planned to once again spend time at bedtime with them.

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Yesterday the girls got out of school and they could not talk fast enough about all that had happened.  I had to make them take turns on telling me something fun about their day.  My favorite part though was not something they learned or ate or had fun with but Lexi’s big win with that little girl.

She was telling me about their discipline system and they can go down (like from green to red in some classes) or they can also go up by the teacher catching them do nice things.  Lexi said she got all the way to the top with Outstanding.  I was anxious to know what she got caught doing well and it turns out she helped this little girl with her words when no one else would help her.

Much praise and clapping went on in the van.  Emma said So our practice last night worked!

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I laid with them again last night.  And oh, it was so good.  We talked and we laughed. I loved being mid-laughter and looking across to catch Emma’s eyes while she’s belly laughing too.  It’s the best medicine in the world.

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Today I read this post with Chris Spradlin’s #1 Bombdiggity awesome sauce parenting advice of all times: Lay on your daughter’s bed and talk to him.  Yes!  Yes, yes, yes.  It’s so worth the extra few minutes.  For me, for them and for others.

And then.  Then.  I read The Talk by Momastery where she tells her children her only goal for them at school is to learn to be brave and kind to others.  And ya’ll, I just cried crocodile tears.  Yes. Yes. Yes.

I get it wrong a lot.  A lot.  I got it wrong Monday night and so many others.  We all do.  All of us parents are selfish and impatient and angry a lot. But this week I was reminded once again to lay myself down (literally and figuratively) and to say yes and that those few minutes before sleep are the most precious of the day.  Maybe you needed a reminder too?

Filed Under: children

Fourth and Second

August 22, 2012 by Amy 1 Comment

2011-08-018

 

And, they’re off!  After a crazy night last night, this morning was a breeze.  The promise of a Chick-fil-a breakfast had the kids up and at ‘em at 6am.  They were dressed in record time and their hair was a breeze.  Lunches were already mostly packed and we were out the door within 30 minutes.

The girls and I had Chick-fil-a almost to ourselves and enjoyed a relaxing breakfast before heading to the school to be one of the first in line.  Neither wanted me to walk them in.  Even Lexi said, “Mommy, I do NOT want you to walk me in like a Kindergartner.”  Yay!

We’ve had our fair share of rushed, angry, late mornings.  I cried like a baby when Emma went to Kindergarten so it is with much relief and joy that we had a great morning with no fear or sadness.

Now, can we please talk about the difference between last year’s picture and this year’s? 

I mean, seriously. Lexi especially looks about four years older than just 12 months ago.  She grew some front teeth, about five inches of hair (I just cut it again last night) and a few inches of height.  Emma is taller and her face is maturing too.  I wish I could bottle this age up!

Parents of older children, give me your advice on how to savor this time!

Filed Under: children

I am His

August 21, 2012 by Amy Leave a Comment

When I was little, I couldn’t wait to wear a wedding ring.  Mom would take us in Belk or Claire’s–it didn’t matter–the diamond-look-alike would be promptly fitted to my ring finger.  I’d imagine the man that would put it on my finger.  I always imagined him tall, dark and handsome, if you must know.  But what I really imagined was how I’d feel when I’d get the ring. 

Loved.

Protected for life. 

Desired.

Chosen out of a crowd.

One summer night at only 18, my handsome man kneeled low and put a gold ring on my finger.  I remember the sand in my feet and the waves breaking just behind him with the moon hanging high.  I was his.

Another summer, many moons past that one, hangs its hat tonight and the school year of our children rises with the sun in the morning.  Tonight I came in from work tired with a to do list miles long.   We had lunches to pack and outfits to pick out and showers to run under and hair to cut and rooms to clean. 

I couldn’t help but notice the package in the foyer though.  Just after dinner, before we started attacking the list, I unpacked it, knowing what was inside–a necklace I snagged for just a few dollars on a special last week. Even at that, it felt like a splurge after a Summer of 7.

I put it around my neck and looked at the leaf, perhaps off a Giving Tree, and then turned it over, “I am His”.

photo (2)

 

I am His.  The phrase turned over in my mind while we cleaned and packed lunches and cut hair and picked outfits.  Reminding me.

I am loved.

Protected.

Desired

Chosen.

I asked the youngest at bed time before prayers if she’d read my necklace.  She said yes and I asked, “Whose am I?” I expected her to say Daddy’s but she said Jesus and the eldest shouted God’s! from her bunk.

I am His. 

It’s just a couple dollar necklace but it brings the same feelings of the ring on the beach and the imposter one in the store.

I am His.  And forever will be.

Filed Under: spiritual stuff

A Prayer for our Public-schooled Children

August 20, 2012 by Amy 13 Comments

Praying for my girls as they start school this week and so covet your agreement.  Please feel free to extend to your own children.

 

Govan Schoolhouse

 

Lord, I pray for Emma and Lexi’s school year.  May it be a year of learning and laughter and love.

May their teachers be full of wisdom, patience, love, forgiveness and self-control.

May Emma and Lexi be full of curiosity, fortitude, patience, self-control, love and joy.  Help them to quickly overcome any anger, frustration, unforgiveness, jealousy and self-doubt.  Give them faith where fear tries to reign.  Close their eyes and ears to evil they might encounter.

I pray when they lead may it be to your light and when they follow, may it not be into darkness.

Give the children around them peace, patience and self-control.

Protect them from any harm Satan may try to form against them, either through another child, teacher, administrator, parent or unknown outside force.  Put angels around them and the school as they sit in classrooms and walk the hallways.

May Emma and Lexi hear and obey your Holy Spirit in all situations.

Bless them, their peers and their teachers. May we look back and see your grace and give you glory.

In the rich name of Jesus Christ, amen and amen.

 

I would love to say a prayer for your school children today.  Leave their initials and grade and I’ll pray specifically for them.

Filed Under: children, spiritual stuff

Book Review: Why Holiness Matters by Tyler Braun

August 17, 2012 by Amy 2 Comments

Why-Holiness-Matters Perhaps I’m sounding like a broken record, but I read a book this week that came at just the right time. 

After finishing Grace for the Good Girl the word “holiness” kept rolling around in my head.  I’m looking back in my journal on my desk as I type and I wrote “holiness Hebrews 12:14” last Monday but never had the chance to do any research beyond that one verse. 

The two seemingly opposing forces that always seem to collide for me is this idea of living the non-perfect, non-good-girl, non-people-pleasing life and yet also fulfilling Jesus’ call to be holy.  How do I do both?

 

So with that background, I was more than happy to accept a review copy of Tyler Braun’s new book Why Holiness Matters.  Why Holiness Matters was written specifically to reach Millennials, a generation of people that are seemingly hesitant to even talk about holiness, much less live it out.  While I might consider myself just outside the Millennial generation, I found myself challenged and refreshed from this book.

Why Holiness Matters was a great teacher and reminder first of what holiness is and is not. As Tyler says, “Holiness is not new behaviors.  Holiness is new affections.”  He expands a few chapters later, “The model Christian is not the perfectly tidy man or woman. The model Christian is one who continually seeks after God in the midst of mess, wading through the murky and muddy waters of life scouting after the Divine.”

 

And why is holiness so important?  As Hebrews 12 indicates and Tyler says, “Being around a truly holy person helps us catch a glimpse of Jesus through the window of their lives.”  I think this idea is so lost with the upcoming generation.  If we are not a people set apart, the next generation will never know what Jesus looks like. 

What I love though is he says this is not a call to perfection.  It’s a call to affection.  Holiness is an outcome of our relationship with Christ. 

As a perfect example, in the Values chapter, Tyler talks about traditions that previous generations have held tightly to like modesty.  Millennials would say we have freedom but Tyler circles back and explain that it’s not just a checkbox to mark off.  As he says, “By valuing modesty we are essentially choosing to live humbly so that our lives may reflect our Father instead of pointing to ourselves.”  Being holy is an outcome of a relationship not a standard of perfection.

The chapter “Community” has such an important message for Millennial Christians. More and more are believing that community is not important and Sunday morning church is a thing of the past.  Again, many see it as a checkbox but it’s so much more.  I wish I could just paste in that whole chapter but here is an excerpt:

Throughout the Bible God refers to His people as a holy nation. No doubt the Bible often refers to holiness in individual ways but what is never lost to God is individual holiness being formed in light of the community. God cannot fully exist without the community of persons within His being, just as we cannot fully exist without the relationships that form our community. It is mutual friendships with one another through < pursuing continue to us allows that friendship the is it and us, bind>

The last two chapters on mission and artistry were all a call to holiness that the Millennial will appreciate.  Millennials do missions and art well and Tyler does a great job of reminding the reader that behind those must come a message of the Gospel.

While the book’s core audience is the Millennial generation, I think we all would do well to read and remember our call to holiness.

 

From a writing perspective alone, Why Holiness Matters was such a pleasure to read.  I love Tyler’s writing voice and his stories were shared with clarity and honesty and yet stayed on point.  Even though our stories are quite different, I still found him relatable on many levels.  The outline and pace were perfect and I found myself running back to my Kindle at every opportunity to finish, something that doesn’t happen often with non-fiction books.  I finished just last night and already have plans to read it again.  I can’t recommend Why Holiness Matters enough.

 

I received a copy of Why Holiness Matters in exchange for this post but all opinions are my own.  And I mean it—you need to get this book!

Filed Under: Book Review

Bow

August 16, 2012 by Amy Leave a Comment

Thanks to Brave and camp, Emma has this happening around the house.  Watch out, neighbors, just watch out.

 

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I think I owe Emma a thank you.  Hello, sexy man with a bow and arrow.

Filed Under: children, friends and/or family

The BBB Method: How To Clean Your Pool {On Your Own with Grocery Store Products}

August 15, 2012 by Amy 4 Comments

How to Clean Your Swimming Pool with the BBB Method using Grocery Store Products

With September around the corner, you might think this is an awful time to talk about pool maintenance and I’d probably agree with you except that many pool owners are SICK of their pools right now and I’d like to offer some help in their weakest moment.

The pool is turning green AGAIN.  The water is cloudy AGAIN.  You haven’t seen sparkling water EVER.  And worse, you’ve dumped half your earnings at the local pool store this summer.  If that’s you, then LISTEN UP!

Getting Desperate

We’ve had our above-ground pool probably 5 years or so.  We opened our pool mid-May this year.  I always have a hard time getting the water clear so I wanted an extra head start.  I started going to the pool store 2-3 times a week.  They’d check chemicals and I always had $50-100 worth of chemicals to take home.  They would always say if it doesn’t clear up in 2-3 days, come back, so I did even when I followed their instructions to a T to no avail.

Four weeks later in mid-June, most of the green was gone but the water was never clear even though the pool store guys kept telling me the numbers were perfect.

Finding Help

I was so frustrated, I hopped on Google and soon found myself on poolforum.com begging for help (here’s my original thread).

After reading about all of their success, I officially switched our pool to the BBB method.  The B’s stand for Bleach, Borax and Baking Soda.

How to Clean Your Swimming Pool with the BBB Method using Grocery Store Products

The BBB method means, ALL our pool’s chemical needs are taken care of by grocery store ingredients and not unnecessary, expensive pool store chemicals.  Just a few weeks later, I had clearer water than we’ve ever had it.

I haven’t been to the pool store now in two months and my pool is perfectly balanced and respectfully clear.

 

The BBB Method

 

I’m not going to attempt to teach you the entire system but give you an overview.

 

How to Clean Your Swimming Pool with the BBB Method using Grocery Store Products

 

The first step is to buy yourself one of these Taylor test kits.  I know it looks all science-y but I promise, if you can count to 20 you can do this.  It’s kind of pricey, but if you’ve been going to the pool store regularly, you can handle pricey and I promise you will get every single cent back you pay for this.

The instructions that come with the kit are super easy and it’s literally just putting water in a tube and then counting drops of chemicals into the water and noting them.

The main goal each day is to keep your chlorine at a target level.  Your target level is determined by the amount of CYA (cyanuric acid), which is also measured in your kit.  There’s a handy chart over here to tell you your target Chlorine based on your CYA.

Once you have your CYA, then based on your pool size, you find out how much bleach will raise your water 1 ppm.  So, in my case, I know that 1 Liter bleach of will raise my Chlorine level by 1ppm.  So, one gallon of bleach will raise my chlorine 4 ppm.

At first, I would test every night and morning to see how much bleach I needed but I’ve found it is very normal that I lose about 4ppm every day from the sun and activity so my regular chore is to pour 1 gallon of bleach in the pool at night.

That’s it!

We spend about $15 a WEEK on bleach and the best part is I don’t have to go to the pool store!  We just pick some up at Walmart when we’re there!

More Numbers

Now, as you know there are more numbers the pool store looks at.  pH and Alkalinity are two of them.  Those can also be adjusted using simple chemicals.

Your pH target is 7.2-7.8 and you can raise it with Borax—yes that stuff in the laundry detergent aisle.  I’ve only had to do that twice this summer and it only takes 1 cup of it at a time. pH is lowered with Muriatic Acid from Lowe’s/Home Depot but thankfully I haven’t had to mess with that all summer.

Your Target Alkalinity is 120ppm but it doesn’t change much and I haven’t had to mess with that all summer.  It’s easily raised with simple baking soda.

That’s the basics but you can read more here.

Lessons Learned

It’s definitely been a different summer with our pool and here’s a few things I learned:

  • Trust the fine folks at poolforum.com.  They are the true heroes here.  If you just get the kit, post your issue and numbers and then commit to BBB method, they will stick with you until your water is clear.  I still can’t believe it’s all free.
  • Once you stick with them and read other posts, you’ll see the trends and start to understand what they’re doing. Once you know your targets and how much you need, it’s easy to maintain yourself.  It’s just as easy as reading a thermometer and giving your child Tylenol if it’s too high.
  • The pool store chemicals raise numbers that you don’t need it to raise.  For example, your standard powder chlorine (pool geeks are dying at my naming) also raises your CYA levels.  Target CYA is something like 40-50 so you could be putting chemicals in there that you don’t need.
  • Always, always take the steps out at the start of each pool season.  We regret not doing it every time.
  • Change your filter’s sand. This can really hinder your pools ability to clear your water.
  • Get yourself a skimmer sock.  It saved us from a ton of backwashing and annoying basket-cleaning.  I also make this a daily task. It’s not hard and so worth it.
  • Most of all, like many things, no one cares about your stuff more than you.  Take control of your pool and take care if it daily.  This really isn’t a problem with the pool store, but the understanding that it needs daily care from US as owners. Understanding how to care for it daily without trips to the pool care specialist is paramount.

I can’t tell you how happy I am to be spending less money and less time with more results and more appreciation for our pool.

You can get started at the forum or find them on their newly launched blog,  Facebook or Twitter accounts.  I’m not being compensated for this post, just want fellow pool owners to find the same success!

Filed Under: random

More Than You Can Handle

August 14, 2012 by Amy 5 Comments

After an hour-long conversation over coffee, two ladies shuffled around their table to leave and the louder woman said, “I know there’s a purpose, I just don’t know what yet.  You know that saying ‘God never gives you more than you can handle?’”

The other lady laughed as they walked out the door and said, “Yeah, sometimes I wonder if we should just be weaker.”

That quote has always bothered me.  ‘God never gives you more than you can handle.”  I guess I get what that quote is supposed to get at, but sometimes, I’m afraid it communicates the wrong idea.

Maybe it’s just me, but from what I can tell, God ALWAYS gives you more than you can handle. 

In fact, I think maybe the point of our circumstances is to show us we can’t handle it. 

And maybe it’s just me, but knowing ahead of time I’m not smart enough, strong enough, patient enough, wise enough or loving enough frees me up from the worry of how to get through it.  It’s only weak little me through Christ that handles anything.

Filed Under: spiritual stuff

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Hey! I'm so glad you're here. I'm Amy, working mom of 3 in the Southern suburbs. I love Jesus, my family, books, chocolate and coffee. I write about faith, parenting, adoption, marriage, fashion, and design. Read more here

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