in a funk

Lately I’ve been in a funk of sorts.  I think I need something to do.  I’ve been spending  alot of time online lately doing a whole lot of nothing.  Adding a ton of blogs to read.  Maybe hoping to find some new friends, not sure.  At times, as busy as I stay, I feel lonely.  I need a friend.  Someone I can just sit and talk to about absolutely nothing.  And I guess in a lot of ways that’s what I do here.  And yet, this blog doesn’t give me a whole lot back.  Actually, nothing I do online does.  I’m not really part of an online community, usually just on the outside reading what everyone else is doing.  And it’s no fault of my few readers, but I usually don’t get a lot of feedback.  And that’s fine because I keep this blog for my own personal journaling.  Very, very few people in my “real life” read this blog.  And I’ve been struggling with that too.  Debating giving it out to some of my closest friends hoping maybe to make our connection stronger by keeping up with each other more often.  But then I’m pretty sure it will get out to the family.  Not sure how I feel about that.  Will this really be a place for me to vent at times if I know everyone in my life is reading it?  But lately, I’ve felt the need to connect with people more and have seriously considered it.  I don’t know what’s going on with me.  But I do have that unsettled, not quite “full” feeling.  I know my bible study has been lacking lately, especially since I’ve put our bible study on hold since helping out with the band.  I know it’s no excuse, but it is a reason.  Anyway, I don’t know what’s going on with me, but just wanted to get that out there.