Amy

More not so good days around here the past couple days. I had a, um, relapse with Mr. Work. Nothing serious, just conversations were headed directions they weren’t supposed to go again. I can’t tell you the inner turmoil I’ve gone through over this. It’s like an addiction almost. I know in my head it’s wrong but it’s too good to pass over. I sound SO pathetic to myself. I KNOW other married women have been through this. Right now, I’d just like to talk to them and hear I’m normal and that one day, I’ll feel normal again and not think about this 24-7.

My house is a disaster. Scott worked all weekend and the past two days and I really need to clean.

Work is as slow as Christmas.

I think Lexi’s mission in life is to spill as much liquid out of cups as possible and scatter as many cheerios on the floor as her little arms can spread.

Emma’s job around here lately seems to be seeing how many times we can change her panties in one day.

It’s not been a great week.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/01/20/245/

This was mostly taken from an email to a friend…sums up last night…

Last night Scott didn’t even want to try Fox and Hound since we figured we had a better chance at Ri Ra’s anyway. So, Ri Ra’s was a 45 minute-1hour wait and we didn’t have even 45 minutes to wait because we had to take a little detour on the way there–more in a sec. So it was SO cold downtown with the wind. I even had changed my heels to my boots because I realized how cold it was going to be and that was a good thing too. Anyway, so we ran across the street to get out of the cold and ended up at Gold Pepper Grill. Yahoo. At least I talked them out of China Queen. It was not quite what I had in mind for the evening but it was decent food, quiet and the service was nice.

So the reason we were running late is we get onto 5th street and I ask Scott if he remembered the tickets. We had originally forgotten the keys and tickets when we were leaving the house and I told him to grab the tickets when he got the keys and apparently he didn’t hear me. So we started to turn the car around to head back home and the only thing that popped into my head was that a guy I work with and his wife lived like 3 blocks from where we were and knew they would help us out and let us print the tickets from their printer. Knowing that she had her wisdom teeth out Wednesday I figured they might be home. So we pull up to their house and C’s car is gone and E, his wife, is staring out the window trying to figure us out. Scott and I walk up to the house and E meets us outside. I told her who I was and she was totally nice about everything. While we were printing the tickets, C got home. He was really confused walking into the house trying to figure out who was at his house but he was really nice about it too (not that I thought they would be otherwise) and the four of us talked for a few minutes before we had to leave to get something to eat. Anyway, it was really funny. I still can not believe I went to his house to do that.

So the opening act for Larry the Cable Guy was Josh Sneed. I’ve never heard him before but he was really funny. He seemed like around my age and was talking about stuff that I could totally relate to. Larry came out and he was really good. He had some not so funny moments and did some stuff I’ve heard on the Blue Collar Tour before but some stuff I hadn’t heard before and I could barely breathe I was laughing so hard.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/01/15/244/

Just in case you didn’t notice, like me, but my comments are back since I switched my domain. I had turned them off in hopes that the crappy comments would stay away and the haven’t so why punish myself for that?

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/01/15/243/

So things are a lot better around here now. Scott and I are going to see Larry the Cable Guy tonight. Scott had flowers delivered to the house. Three dozen miniature roses. They’re gorgeous. One point for him (or about 3 dozen points). He has been trying so hard lately. Notes left for me in the morning. Surprise dates, presents, the flowers. I love him more just for making the effort.

I do still talk to the guy at work. Almost daily. The subjects of our conversations have changed quite a bit though. Recently we’ve been discussing God and whether he creates us inherently good or bad. It’s brought up other things and honestly, I’ve learned a ton just by trying to respond. I’ve thought through things I have never thought through or haven’t probably since college. It’s so weird with him and I. Sometimes it seems like we are almost the same person, just maybe different personalities. We just seem to approach things with the same thought process even if the opinions are different. Wednesday night he, I don’t know, disappointed me. We were doing an implementation for work and he logged in to the computer from the bar he had gone to after work. He went off on tangents and kept talking like so fast and about things I didn’t ask him about and things you just don’t say like that. Now I know why I can’t be around people when they are drinking. I honestly didn’t feel like I was talking to the same person. It really put a different perspective on a lot of things. Anyway, enough about him!

Lexi has really started to try to say stuff. She’s not too good at it but you can tell she is trying. Last night she tried to say two. She was pretty close on that one actually. Apparently she can do animal sounds. The kitty cat is the cutest. She says mow, mow. She does lion, dog, and kitty cat. She is a ham. So funny when she sticks her tongue out when she is really being funny or silly. She has a fit when people come over. Starts running in place, sticking her tongue out, dancing, trying to do somersaults.

Emma is getting more mature all the time. I mean, as much as a 3 year old can be. We still struggle with whining quite a bit and a little bit of talking back to us. She is worse when she is with MIL. I don’t think because of MIL but because of her cousin that she is always with if she spends time with her. She is quite a handful.

We redid our foyer and hallway. Didn’t know people redid those right? Well, our foyer is sort part of our living room. I added a console table and mirror after painting the foyer walls a very deep brown. I love it. I just want to sit in the foyer now.

So today I’m just looking forward to tonight. I really hope it is good.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/01/14/242/

The past week has not been fun around our house. Things got kind of out of hand with some conversations with the guy at work. Scott started asking questions and of course I had to answer honestly. He was not too happy. And he was right. He and I shouldn’t have said the things we did. Honestly, it was fun while it lasted but trying to gain back his trust has really sucked. Which I can’t blame but it really stinks for me.

Anyway, the girls have been sick the past couple of weeks. Lexi has really been trying to talk. She says “Door” for Dora and “Baa-Paa” for backpack. She says momma and da-da and says “Ma” for Emma. She was even saying PawPaw last night. She gives kisses now. She opens her mouth and leans forward until you kiss her. It’s SO cute. She did it the first time with Mom. I think she about cried.

Emma is still not going #2 in the potty. It is driving me bananas. She continually surprises us with stuff she comes up with. She is really into Dora right now and still walks around in her princess dress up clothes daily.

D joined the Y over Christmas so we have gone twice together this week. It’s really nice to go with someone who is as into as me, if not more. Hopefully we can keep it up.

D & I went shopping to Charlotte’s really nice mall on Saturday. We had such a good time. I love shopping with her. I still think about one pair of tweed pants at Ann Taylor I want but I was not paying $70 for them. I’ll wait until a sale or at least until I can earn coupons for spending that much.

My friend J is not doing well with her pregnancy. They had found out the baby had a hole in his heart, a cleft lip and maybe other problems and now she is in the hospital at 28 weeks with toxemia and will probably have to deliver tomorrow. I feel so bad for her. I don’t see how she is keeping herself together. She had an amnio done yesterday and the results should be in today. We’re praying for the best.

Things just seem crazy around here.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/01/05/241/

Lexi got us all sick this weekend in MD. There was beautiful snow on the ground the whole weekend. I wish it would snow just once here. Only if they could get the roads clear quickly, it would be great to see it around town. I just hate being holed up at home after any kind of snow.

Work is as slow as molasses. I’m practically begging for something to do. Tomorrow I’m going to a Christmas lunch at Cheesecake Factory in Charlotte. I only get there once every couple years but it is worth the wait!

Lexi broke part of my camera so I’m having to buy another one. I think I’m going to go for the Canon PowerShot A620. Seems a bit bulky but the reviews otherwise seem to claim it has what I’m looking for.

This weekend was whirlwind of emotions. The resulting argument kind of goes like we’re just friends, but friends lead to affairs, but neither of us want that, well just be careful and let me look over your shoulder just to make sure whatever you’re saying is truthful. OK, that made no sense but just had to get that out.

Scott is supposed to be bringing me Starbucks this evening. He needs to hurry. I’m hungry.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2005/12/22/240/

Feeling awfully thoughtful today. We didn’t do a thing today up here. It snowed all day long. Good thing we decided to come a night early. Just looking out the window at the snow coming down steadily sets up a perfect environment to let your mind wander. And you can see the poem I wrote before shows just that. I have never written a poem in my life. Probably as you can tell. Some of it rhymed, some of it didn’t. The thoughts just would not leave my mind. I tossed and turned for 2 hours trying to take a nap this morning.

So tonight I’m working on my new host while I’m waiting on the Apprentice finale. Not much fun really. I hate trying to get Movable Type working. This ftp program I had to install on this machine stinks too. Which is not helping.

Lucky chance
Others danced
We were off
No turning back

Years went by
Learned to fly
Horses drawn
Beaches hot

Sheets blazing
Eyes gazing

That’s what dreams are made of

Every day dawning new
Same old thing for us to do

Something new
Quick how do you do
Blushing face
Words erased

Stolen glances
Sexy dances
Minds on go
Can’t go slow

Aspen winters
Spanish summers

That’s what dreams are made of

Words found out
Efforts spent
Husband’s angry
Wife’s crying

Hearts are broken
Minds are numb
All alone
And regret is sown

Whatever mattered
Is now shattered

That’s what dreams are made of