what i did today

OK, so Scott was back at work today.  The day actually went pretty well.  The girls actually seem easier to get ready this year than last so the mornings aren’t that rough.  Plus I’ve been setting clothes out the night before to make it even easier.  We brought S home from school with us so they played the entire afternoon together in the playroom.  And have I mentioned how much I like my office in the sunroom and the toys in Lexi’s room?  They play in there ALL the time.  And today I went in there and Lexi literally said, “Get out of here!”  Two seems a little early to be dissing Mommy but I guess that’s the way kids are these days (please catch the sarcasm).

When SIL came to pick up S, the girls wanted to go home with her so they spent the afternoon/evening over at their house.  In fact, Lexi was asleep for the night when she brought them home.

Scott and I went to the gym when I quit working and can I just say I’m kind of over the gym.  It’s been almost two years that I’ve been working hard in the gym, only for the past 6 weeks or so when I actually lost weight and kept it off and now when I see those calories on the elliptical, I just don’t care about them as much and there’s no motivation…there’s no “Just 100 more calories and I’ll work off that cookie I ate after lunch”.  I’ve lost the weight I’ve wanted and I really want to keep up with it because I know my cholesterol is still a little high but there’s no “You just worked off 5 HDL points! Congratulations, keep going for 10 more minutes” option.  Anyway, we’re seriously considering stopping the membership at least until January when they have the free signups again.  I know everything is going to get busy during the holidays anyway and it’s almost $70 a month.  Very much one of our luxury bills we could do without.

So anyway, Scott and I stopped at Subway on the way home where I then spent almost this whole evening either checking email, myspace, watching crappy reality shows or blogging about them.  I wish I had something more interesting to say, but I think this will do it for now.  The clock just turned midnight so I think this Cinderella has to go!

OK, almost this entire day was spent on the pageant.  I got up and fed them a good breakfast hoping the full belly would help.  I got ready and then put them in the bath.  Worked on their hair after that.  Lexi was. not. into me doing her hair so I just left it straight and put it halfway up.  That had been my plan anyway so that was good.  She whined through most of it but at least it got done.  For Emma, I dried it curly but ended up having to use a curling iron to make ringlets and then pin it up.  I think it turned out pretty cute.

After that, we went to get something to eat and the bank to get the cash to register.  After just a few minutes home, we packed up and headed over there.  We were there pretty early.  I think I might have been the first to register.  Finally met the director, she was really nice.  I got the girls dressed right away.  Lexi was excited to get in her dress and I wanted to seize the moment.  We ended up being there for almost another 2 hours before they actually started. 

The girls practiced on stage.  Lexi was a ham the first practice and then clung to my leg so tight the second time I had to pick her up to walk.  That was the last practice and it made me nervous she wouldn’t do it.  Emma wouldn’t practice by herself but did well at the practice, waving and twirling each time.  I was feeling confident she might do well.

Lexi was up first.  I was really scared she wasn’t going to do it.  She said she didn’t want to go on stage but then I prayed really quick and asked her if she wanted that Sprite PaPaw promised her if she’d walk on stage and she said yes and then was raring to go.  I had to literally hold her back from going on stage.  She was a complete ham on stage.  When we got to stage left where the family was, she let me spin her around and then she waved at everyone.   She had the biggest smile.  The emcee was saying cute things like her favorite toys are Disney Princesses and her favorite food is Chicken.  The audience seems to be entertained by her.  I felt confident for her walking off stage.  Even when the whole age class walked back on stage, she was still hamming it up, waving and smiling.

I walked around the corner behind the stage though to see Emma freaking. out.  SIL was standing with her but it was S’s turn to go so I held her and tried to convince her to go.  She was sobbing.  She didn’t want to go by herself.  While we’re back stage, I ask one of the tweener helpers to walk with her because the director had said if she was very frightened she would let her walk with her.  I kept trying to say Emma you don’t have to do this.  She said she wanted to walk so she could get her trophy.  I turned around and decided it wasn’t worth it and one of the co-directors met me at the bottom of the stage and she quickly said I could walk with her.  So Emma dried it up.  But it was pretty obvious she had been crying.  We walked out and she had her shy face on and her hand up at her mouth.  She didn’t wave and didn’t put on any smile.  I felt like a crappy stage mom making my child do this.  Mom insists it didn’t seem like that.  Emma was really intent on doing it and if she hadn’t insisted, I would have high-tailed it out off that stage with her. 

So they announce Lexi’s class first.  She didn’t really want to go back on stage much and I held her.  She was the last thing they announced and I was worried she wasn’t getting anything while the other 3 did but was very happy she won.  She wasn’t so impressed.  She didn’t want the crown on.  She didn’t want the sash on.  She did seem taken with the trophy with the star though and held that.  I crammed it all in my hands while holding her and we all went off stage.

S’s awards were next and she won for her class.  I was backstage with Emma so I don’t really know how she reacted but she was extremely excited afterwards.

During Emma’s awards, it was clear she wasn’t getting anything and very clear a very poised, professional little girls was getting first place.  Which was fine.  They did award her with a “princess trophy” which was basically a participation award and she cracked a smile for that.

We all gathered for pictures afterwards and Lexi was NOT into putting anything on to take pictures.  She had a frown and she was just done with the whole thing. 

I was so stressed when I left there.  Honestly, I was a little mad that Emma reacted the way she did.  I knew she might do that and yet it was still frustrating.  If she had just told me she didn’t want to walk by herself, I would never have put her in it.  Although I was happy for and proud of Lexi, I was frustrated she wouldn’t wear her crown and sash and take a picture.  I know, I’m a horrible stage mom.  But just being honest here.  I was so stressed by the time we left, I was just over the whole thing and would be happy to never see a pageant again.

This does put Lexi in for a spot in state.  But it’s not until next June.  I’m sure that is enough time for me to forget all this pain and want to do it again.  It will be more simple with just one child that is “into it” instead of juggling the two of them and having to see one suffer through it.  My heart really went out to Emma because I KNOW how that feels and that so would have been me at her age. 

I am really proud of Lexi and glad everyone else got to see my little monkey shine.  I wish Emma could have done the same.  Even though she didn’t, I know what a gorgeous little girl inside and out she is and really, I didn’t need a pageant for anyone to tell me that about either of my girls.