Amy J. Bennett

Ramblings from a Working Mother

March 17, 2011 by Amy 3 Comments

Yesterday ended up being a little bit of a bust. I came to the office and found that my badge and all network access had not been touched. Turns out the company overlapped my end date as a contractor and start date as an employee and so nothing really changed yesterday. At lunch, my manager came by and just said, go home if you want. So even though it was my day in the office and I had my brand new suit on, you know I hightailed it down the interstate to home. I am always like a horse to his barn. Get me home!

I am back at the office today and much of my access is gone. Today will be the day that I stay at the office for 9 hours and commute for over an hour. Ten hours away from home. It’s just…yucky to me.

I read this post over at Beneath My Heart (sorry no link at present) today where she chronicles her home and work life through the years. I love the comment she quoted from her mother, “God does everything in seasons.” Right now she’s in a season of staying home with her children after full time work in her last season. Right now I’m in a season of being full-time hours, half-time telecommuter.

There is a never-ending debate on whether mothers, or even females, should be working at all. Obviously I fall in the camp of “it’s ok”. As with many things, I think there is a balance and not a one-size-fits-all rule to the whole deal. Some mothers would be nearly violent if forced to stay at home full-time. Or, they simply enjoy using their talents at their job. Other mothers wouldn’t be able to handle the juggle between full-time at the office and to be “busy at home” life. And some simply love being being home full-time. I’m a Jesus-loving girl and bathed this decision about work in prayer and no one is going to convince me that God hasn’t led me here. It’s just a season. It may be that we need this extra money in the future for a time where I WILL be led to be at home full-time.

I won’t lie, it’s hard to be gone this long. As I said, it feels “yucky” to me. But you know what? I feel kind of sad when I leave my kids to go get coffee with a friend and I miss bedtime. I feel kind of sad when they spend the night away from home and I don’t get Saturday morning with them. My sadness is not about work. It’s about loving and missing my kids when I’m away, no matter what it’s for. But we can’t insulate ourselves so much that we are with our kids 100% of the time. I think it does a disservice to both me and my girls if I were to limit my time with my friends and their time with their family and friends. At the same time, God has given us the kids for only a season and yes, it’s great when we can sow into their lives. To be honest, given the choice aside from money I would probably choose to be a full time stay-at-home mom. I would love to take off to Target at 10am or go bowling at 2. I’d be happy to be home every day to have dinner set and ready at 5.

I guess I just think our hearts and minds can be one place and our bodies in another. A stay at home can FOR SURE be absent in mind and heart from their home and children even if physically at home while a working mother can be at work, but their hearts and minds at home and actually, be MORE attentive when physically at home than if they were home all day. I think it comes down to a heart issue. If our hearts are at home and our attention is with our kids, that’s what is important, no matter where we spend our day physically.

American Idol Top 12

March 17, 2011 by Amy Leave a Comment

Ok, I watched late last night, on fast forward and I’m sitting here right before I head off to work but quickly, here we go!

Lauren – Definitely not my favorite of hers but I liked what she was trying to do with it. I think sans a cold she’d do great..

Casey – No thank you. Yuck.

Paul – He’s so weird to watch but I LOVE his voice.

Pia – Yep, I’m a fan. That was amazing. She reminds me of Kelly in that she came out of NOWHERE from Hollywood.

James – I loved it. He reminds me of a mix between Adam and Chris Daughtry. I love it!

Haley – I couldn’t even listen to the whole thing.

Jac0b – He’s so good! I think I see him doing something other than Idol though. Broadway? Vegas?

Thia – I know it was boring but it was BEAUTIFUL. Disney needs to call her and figure something out for her.

Stefano – I’m still not on the Stefano train but I thought he sounded good.

Karen – Another weak week for Karen. Was she off-key or was it just a bad key she was in? Wasn’t pleasant at all.

Scotty – Paled in comparison to Travis Tritt. Surprised Randy gave him such high props.

Naima - She seems so angry. What is her deal? Pitchy and awkward and angry. No thanks.

Favorite of the night: Pia, James, Paul

In trouble: Naima

What I’m Wearing Wednesday

March 16, 2011 by Amy 7 Comments

As you read this, I’ll be having my “first day”. Not really first day but in some ways it will feel like it.

I’m commuting to the office.

All my network access will be wiped.

I’ll get a new badge.

I’ll fill out a bunch of paperwork.

I’ll sit at my new assigned desk.

I’ll work 8 hours.

Some of that I’m not too excited about. However, I AM pretty pumped about the new suit I bought at The Limited last weekend. Nothing like a little retail therapy. I figured since I’m a legit banker now, I ought to have a proper suit. Here’s my “first day” outfit:

Those pants are so scrumptious, I can not wait to wear them! I might have to sit in a cube for 8 hours, but I’m going to feel good doing it!

Top Ten Tuesday: Bedroom Designs

March 15, 2011 by Amy 12 Comments

OK so I could keep a lot of the same decorations in our new bedroom and most likely I will. But it’s time to step it up just a notch. As I mentioned, I’m not a fan of the uber popular coastal look going around. I mean, it’s GORGEOUS but it’s just not my style. Pretty sure I will forever be a fan of reds, oranges, browns and greens. I love dark woods. I love for it to feel WARM, COZY and INVITING.

So given that, here are my Top 10 Dream Bedrooms.

#10 What I love about this? DARK. I love the feeling that I’m sleeping in a library with all of that dark wood. Just wrap me up and put me to bed! Not a fan of the lamps, rug or picture necessarily. Just like that it’s so dark.

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#9 I don’t think I could handle such light walls, furniture AND carpet but I love all the green pillows and love the interesting light and bench.

#8 Blue is not usually my thing but I do love all the shimmer. The chandelier is outstanding and I just like the overall chic look.

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#7 I don’t love everything about this room (please cover those chairs!) but I do love the mirror, I love the mixture of red, orange and brown. I like the black and white artwork. The lighting just makes it feel cozy.

#6 These white walls usually would be a turn off but I think the tile is interesting. Again, I love the red, orange and brown. I particularly like that the headboard and bed are both dark, similar to ours.

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#5 I love the orangey/peachy colors in this room. I think this is less the cozy feel but still a nice, bright room I would be happy to walk into.

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#4 OK, now we’re getting to my favorites. I love, love, love the green floor to ceiling curtains. I Love the shimmery rug and art. I love the dark furniture and dark floors. I’m surprised I love it given the walls are ivory.

#3 I just LOVE this room. Again, floor to ceiling curtains. We have the brown and orange with some great pattern in the blanket. I love the rug. Love the geometric design in the lamp and side table.

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#2 Now, this is just a pipe dream but this room was built as a college thesis and I am just IN LOVE with all the cozy lighting and the green on the bed and curtains. Love the mirror on the bottom of the bed. Love all the wood accents. This is so not happening but I love it.

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#1 And this might surprise you, but this was my favorite out of the bunch. It’s not perfect but there’s a lot to love. I love the floor to ceiling green curtains (those are green right?). I love the dark furniture. I love the pattern in the rug. I love the mirror to the left. I love the black and white photography. I am very surprised I like the light blue walls and blue accents in the pillows. I’m not a huge fan of the bed and chest but overall, I think this room evokes the right mix of modern, traditional, light and dark, cozy, livable space.

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I think I’m going to pull some of my favorite things from all of these to make our new master bedroom a cozy retreat. I think we’re really going to need a nice place to escape to in the coming years!

Which of these are your favorites?

For more Top Ten, visit ohAmanda.com

Pictures were taken from Elle or Rate My Space

Concrete

March 14, 2011 by Amy 1 Comment

I’ve never

been so happy

to see

concrete.

Brick foundation should go in tomorrow assuming the brick shows up like it’s supposed to!

Deconstructing the Weekend

March 13, 2011 by Amy 9 Comments

We really had no plans to do anything on the house this weekend. The inspector never showed up Friday to inspect the footings so we couldn’t pour any concrete Saturday. That is now planned for 10am tomorrow. But nevertheless, it turned into a FULL weekend of deconstructing the closets to make way for the hallway.

Without warning Friday night, Scott started taking the wire racks in the closet that I had emptied last weekend. I snapped this before picture on my cell because I knew, HERE WE GO. When Scott starts a project, WATCH OUT.

Not too long thereafter and there went the carpet.

And then the wall in between the two closets Saturday morning.

All gone!

But he couldn’t stop there… He decided to go ahead and close in the wall.

So he did. The girls officially have NO closet.

So we took a break then and ran some errands, went to dinner. But oh, the fun couldn’t stop. He started tearing down OUR wall. And even though you have to take a double-take, the TV is no longer hanging on the wall, but on its stand on the dresser, pulled away from the wall. Just wanted to clear up that it’s safe and sound.

And then it was the wall into the bedroom. Please don’t be concerned that THERE ARE ELECTRICAL WIRES in the wall.

We about had our fill last night but oh, I just couldn’t keep my hands off the hammer today after church. “I’ll just finish the small wall.” I can’t tell you what kinds of good it does for PMS.

See? I did some of the work. I think Scott was quite amused.

And after this next picture, you’ll see why. Check that face out. But look closer. Check out the hammer that went THROUGH THE WALL and the dry wall is mid-air. POWER, PEOPLE. I GOTZ IT.

But not really, I left the real work to Scott where he took out the studs. I’ll refrain from any stud jokes. I’m sure my sister will appreciate it.

And…we couldn’t stop there. So the rest of the wall came down.

And TA-DA! All the old is gone and our hallway is taking shape!

Next step is building the new wall 8” inside the room so we meet code on the width of the hallway.

Also, it will be nice to have a home for the light switches.

Footings and a Firm Foundation

March 11, 2011 by Amy 5 Comments

Well, everything was put into perspective this morning with awful news out of Japan. The alarm woke us with the news and while watching so much devastation on TV it was difficult to get excited knowing today was the day they would finally start on the house. But I’m considering it good news in the midst of bad. Life in one place where death reigns in another. The first step to rescuing another person in tragedy. It’s good. It’s ok to celebrate.

I may not be able to help in Japan, but we’re helping here.

The crew doesn’t even know it but they are on a rescue mission.

Digging for God. But really, for him. Wherever he is. Whoever he is.

We’re building this for you, son. A firm foundation.

Swirling

March 10, 2011 by Amy 5 Comments

I think too much. I do. Sometimes I become somber and stare into space and Scott, well-versed in my thinking stance, stops me and says, “What are you thinking about?” I think he would really like the conversation to go down like in Slingblade:

Vaughan Cunningham: You seem like a thinker. You seem to always be deep in thought. So what are you thinking right now?

Karl Childers: I’m thinking I could use some more o’ that potted meat, if you have any extry.

But alas, it’s usually not potted meat although Scott insists on quoting that conversation ad nauseum and laughing at himself.

Sometimes I recall something someone said to me and rehash or something someone did to us and rehash and sometimes it’s some verse, blog post or book I just read, or really any combination. And a lot of times, I feel like if I don’t get let them leak on to paper, they are forever swirling. It’s like the drain is through my fingers and it’s the only release I get from the endless chatter in my brain. So here is what has been swirling, some about as important as potted meat but others not as much.

Hell

Yep, I’ve been thinking a lot, a whole lot, about hell. And I’m not scared to go there, it doesn’t threaten me, but Rob Bell has started an absolute whirlwind of debate on the Internet about his new book Love Wins: A Book About Heaven, Hell and Every Person Who Ever Lived. I’ve read a few reviews but what I gather is he believes no one goes to hell, better known as universalism. A Deeper Story featured an article about hell where the reader believes that there is a fire but people are annihilated in it and not tortured forever. Be sure to read her follow-up article on her site. And I’ve thought and thought and read verses and the only thing I come away with is the fact there IS a hell and there IS a fire and the point of it all is that I believe we WILL be separated from God for eternity if we don’t believe.

Now, even that has come into question as I read the Bible. I’ve always been taught, people have to “accept Jesus in their hearts” to go to Heaven. But check out Romans 2 where it basically says people inherently know about the law even if they’ve never heard about the law or Jesus and they are a law unto themselves. The question it seems is what do they do with the information they know? As Rachel Held Evans talks about in her book Evolving in Monkey Town, exactly how much if any of Jesus does one need to know to go to heaven? Yes, they are saved through Jesus but do they need to know his name? I know it’s a can of worms. But all of that has been swirling in my brain. I want to reiterate I am confident in whom I believe and where I will be but I think about who might or might not be with me.

Work

A week from this very second I will be at the office for my second full day of my new job. I know I said it was already my job and I’m just making it more permanent but this whole going to full-time hours (32 to 40) and part-time office thing really has me down. I’ve been SO BLESSED to have been at home the past 8 years. Even though it’s so much work making that balance at home, it has become the standard here.

Starting next week so much time will be spent away from home and especially on a long commute every day (1-1.5 hrs/day). I’m really, really going to miss it. I’m such a homebody! The great news is I will only be gone the days that Scott is home so we are able to share in getting them from school. No after-school care required (read: cheap). I know really it’s only less than 10 hours per week I’ll be away from the kids more but 10 is 10. And there is so much debate on the Internet about whether a mom should work or not. We are to be “busy at home” they say. Well, let me just through out there that I WILL be busy at home. In fact, I foresee many later nights and earlier mornings keeping our house together. Is it ideal? Honestly, probably not. I feel like I’ve had the ideal for 8 years. But the alternative is find another job full time in the office or be a stay at home mom and honestly, neither of those sound inviting. I do enjoy the work that I do and the financial benefits are something serious to consider. I’m actually pretty excited what we might do with the extra income if I’m honest.

But yeah, as excited as I am that I got the job, there is definitely some trepidation there. Don’t even get me started thinking about this in combination with a possible adoption!

Decorating

Whew, something less controversial. I’ve been scouring the Internet for ideas on how to decorate our new bedroom. The bummer part is this whole coastal look is so popular right now and if you know me, I could never be happy in a white and blue bedroom. Please put me in a cave to hibernate every night any day. So, it’s making it harder but I still push forth.

The House

And of course, I can not quit thinking about every detail about the addition. When is it starting? At what point do we do what? Should we move this wall 2 feet? Have we picked out the brick? Will it ever quit raining??

And so my brain swirls, yet I hope a little of my thoughts have permanently made their way through my fingers, caught in a world wide web, saved for you to find.