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I just can not stress enough how anal I am being about our taxes this year. We had some friends over last night (more to come on that) and he was saying that since Scott works for the state, there is some meal allowance he gets. It would be like $800 if I figured it out right. Scott apparently ignored the email they sent about it. Now I am dying to find something out about it but I can’t find anything on the Internet. I even emailed them to try to get more info but I haven’t heard anything. And our W2s are still not here!

So we had another trooper and his girlfriend over last night. We are both from the same area and we both moved here when they got the job. We are about the same age too. We had a really nice visit. We ordered pizza and I had made brownies so we had brownie sundaes. She was so good with Emma and Emma loved her! She wanted to play her animal board game thingy with her the whole night and when it was Emma’s bed time, I gave Emma to her in the recliner and she held her down like a baby and rubbed her tummy and Emma was out like a light in about a minute. I was so impressed. I thought for sure Emma would not go to sleep until they left, but no. It was so nice for someone else to do it! I told her she needed to come over every night. We planned to go on a shopping trip together soon. We all had easy conversation. The funniest was when he was talking about Scott eating so fast in police academy. Apparently it was a running joke. I have said lots of times Scott inhales his food. He puts his head down and shovels. Seriously.

Mom and Dad are coming down tomorrow. I guess I’ll be home alone for the big football game on Sunday. You guys just don’t know how crazy people are being up in Charlotte. I work for a bank there and they are letting everyone where jerseys to work. It’s a bank, people, and they’re letting us where jerseys and jeans! Random gas stations have tables set up with all kinds of Panthers stuff for sale. People have flags and stickers on their cars. Well, you get the picture. Go Panthers!

Have I mentioned my two best friends from school are both getting married this year? I have TWO weddings to be in. You know, now that I think about it, the one hasn’t asked me to be in her wedding. Maybe I’m not in it? Hmm. That doesn’t make me upset at all, but I’m kind of confused. That’s not really something you just flat out ask–am I in your wedding? She hasn’t asked me and she hasn’t talked about dresses at all even though we are planning a dress try-on trip with the other friend. I guess if she asks me to come try on a dress too, I’ll know I’m in hers too. The only reason I think I am is because well, one, we’ve been friends since we were 8 and the other is when I had my wedding, I wanted her and my sister as my maid of honor, but I made my sister my maid of honor and her my honorary maid of honor and she said she was going to do the same with her sister and me when she got married. I guess that was 6 years ago she said that…

These past two days I’ve gotten quite a bit of work done. I guess after last week, getting ANY work done feels like a lot. Emma has been pretty independent and Scott has been home in the mornings so it has been pretty easy.

There is not too much new going on in Emma’s world except a really bad diaper rash right now. And, she loves playing chase. She gets these big eyes and this deep throated giggle, bends at her knees and gets ready to run. She just cackles when you go after her. When I ask her what a pig says, she scrunches up her nose and tries to snort. It’s so cute. She doesn’t play with her tea set too much anymore. She still likes her books and especially those about animals. She LOVES animals. She also has a puzzle that has farm animals on it that she likes. It’s so funny because I go through the pieces and name all the animals and then say like, What does a cow say? And then say, Mooo.. But I always get to the goat and say What does a goat say? And then I say quickly, I don’t know what a goat says, here is a duck! I’m blanking out! What sound does a goat make??

I don’t think I ever mentioned but Scott talked to his corporal about putting in for a transfer and his comment was that the first sergeant wouldn’t be happy. He said, you could do it and get it and then be treated badly until you left or take the chance of not getting it and be treated badly for a long time. Not “badly” but just first sergeant would give him a hard time. He wouldn’t let small things slide. Corporal told him that he knew Scott never took that kind of thing seriously and could probably deal with it, but it was up to him. The highway patrol is first sergeant’s life and he would take it very personally if he tried to leave. Which I don’t see why because he knows that Scott doesn’t want to be here. He gave him another “stay a few years and you’ll love it” speech the other day. The thing with me is you know, I really don’t care if we don’t move back home. Just let me know. I want out of this apartment and into a house if I have to be here any longer. I searched for some houses for rent the other day. We could so afford being in one. I wish we could have found one a year ago. It would make living here so much easier. This apartment just feels so temporary. Believe me, it is very nice, it’s just, I sorta still feel like I’m living in a hotel. There’s too many neighbors around us and the public parking and no back yard doesn’t make it feel like home. I try to get Scott to just say, ok, this is it, we’re staying here for 2 years and then we’ll go home and then we can plan for that. But not knowing whether we’ll be gone in June, January or in 5 Januarys, it makes it very difficult to feel like you can go on. I know that sounds strange and really, on a daily basis, I do feel like we’ve moved on, but I don’t like not having a goals. Like, I would like to be able to say in June, we’ll leave the apartments and then find a house to rent for a year and if we still plan on staying, we’ll buy a house. Well, right now, he’s *thinking* of putting in for a transfer and he *might* get one who knows when. Really, as I’m thinking about this, this is what we think we know. Our lease ends at the end of June (we know this). The HP is thinking of having a class in January that would graduate the next June. Why doesn’t he approach the transfer and say, once the class is graduated and you have someone to replace me in June 2005, I’m gone. That would give us the ability to get a house to rent for a year and then be able to plan when we can start looking for a house back home to buy. Why doesn’t first sergeant listen to me! Did you know first sergeant told Scott he knew that a lot of the reason that Scott wanted to go back home is because of me?? Uh, no. We BOTH want to go back home and neither of us dislike being here, we would just RATHER be near our family. Ok, I need to get off my soap box. I do this every time I start talking about this.

I think I might be quite pathetic. I have been DYING to get our taxes done. I am always so nervous to find out if we are going to have to pay/excited to get a refund. We have had some good years in the past but I changed my exemptions at work to try to offset that and I am scared we are going to have to pay. I haven’t gotten all of our W2s but I did have our check stubs at the end of the year and of course I already have all our itemized deductions all lined up. I pulled last year’s tax returns and figured what the heck, I’m going to figure this out. So, yes, people. I just spent an hour doing Federal form 1040 along with Schedule A–Itemized Deductions for fun. I think this ice here has frozen my brain. But really, the thing is, it wasn’t that hard. I finished and thought, hey, I could do our taxes, in fact, I just DID our federal taxes! Bad news is it looks like we won’t get a huge refund, good news is, it looks like we might break even. It hurt that we didn’t have Scott’s education credit (of course, we didn’t have to pay for his school this year either), we didn’t have our house taxes, our mortgage interest wasn’t as much and our gifts to charity were down. And for some odd reason, our income was about the same even though I cut my hours by about 25%. Of course now I REALLY want the taxes done just to see how close I am ;).

I really think this week is one of the worst of my life. I don’t know, maybe not. But it’s been really draining. And I mean that figuratively and literally. I spent all morning in the bathroom/bed. Thank goodness Scott was home until 2 today. I was dreading him leaving all morning, knowing I didn’t have the energy to carry her around as she has required the past week. When he left we were taking a nap. When she got up, we watched a little bit of Dr. Phil together (yes, I know, I’m starting her young). I decided at the end that she needed OUT, I needed OUT and I could sit down in the car. So off we went to Bojangles to get some mashed potatoes for us for dinner. I drove around until she got a bit cranky and when we came back, I let her play in the front seat of the car for 45 minutes. It was 5:00 by then and I was counting down until her bedtime. We came in and I let her eat (ie play in) the mashed potatoes. That took another 30 minutes. And then, I pulled out the big guns. A 45 minute Wiggles tape. She laid against me like a doll. So, we played for a few minutes and then headed for bath time where after she fell asleep quickly. I am so glad to have this evening over with. That sounds awful but a toddler takes WAY too much energy for an ailing, tired, drained, stressed, I just want to go to sleep mother. I’m actually feeling much better than I was this morning and I’m hoping both of us feel LOTS better tomorrow.

My in-laws have been down twice this week and were there two of the times when we took Emma to the ER. I have to say when someone is sick, they are right by your side. Even when Emma was in the hospital last year, my family came when it was convenient. MIL would come through hell or high waters to get to the hospital when I take Emma. They definitely have a gift of taking care of people.

Oh, and I have been watching American Idol and The Bachelorette–yes, that can be done from a bed. My favorite on AI is the SCAT girl at the end of her “song” when she just flat out screams. Scott and I looked at each other with these faces like, what on God’s green earth was THAT! I’m hoping they didn’t show some of the more talented ones because I’m not seeing any that I’m overly impressed with. As for The Bachelorette (I hate typing that word out!!) it’s kind of boring this year. I feel like all she does is laugh to try to make up for how quiet she was on the last show. I don’t know, I’m not seeing any high potential there either. Maybe I’m wrong. There are still 10 guys left and we barely have seen any of them interact with Meredith, so we’ll see. I’m not holding my breath though.

Yesterday morning I took Emma to her dr. He said it was a classic rotovirus (?). She went to bed Sunday night at 6:30 and was up for the day at 4am on Monday morning (yuck). She threw up twice after trying to guzzle some drink down, but then started to refuse to drink anything. The dr said she needed at least 1 1/2 oz of fluid every hour and 3 wet diapers a day or she’d be headed to the hospital. After getting home, we got about an ounce down her threw a medicine dropper thing. She took a nap and after waking up, my in-laws had come down. They fought with us all evening to get the fluid down her. She would gag, twist, tighten her lips, anything so we wouldn’t give her something to drink. We tried sippy cups, bottles, syringe, jello, tea, Pedialyte, water, you know, on and on. We barely got down what we needed until she fell asleep for the night at 7:00. The good news is she had a wet diaper before she went down. She woke up at about 2:30 last night and drank some Pedialyte out of a sippy cup. Then, at about 6:30, she willingly drank some more. She acted very thirsty so I’m hoping today she is starting to get her appetite back. She hasn’t thrown up since about lunchtime yesterday, so maybe we’re on the upswing. Thank goodness!

The craziest never stopped. Emma started vomiting at 11:30 Friday night. After throwing up about every 20 minutes, at 3:30, Mom and I called it quits and Dad took me and Emma to the ER (Scott was working in Columbia). We were there until 7:00. I was so wiped out. She was still throwing up/started diarrhea Saturday and we took her back at 12:30 Saturday. We were there then until 4:30. She was not holding anything down. Today she had had a few more episodes and had begun to refuse to drink. We were concerned she had gotten dehydrated and took her back even though they had told us they’d probably admit her if she came again. This time we were there for about 2-3 hours but the dr assured us she wasn’t dehydrated and gave us a few more details on what to look for (tears, moist mouth). They also got her to eat a graham cracker after trying several things. Also, gave us more instructions on the nausea medicine. By the way, those suppositories are not nearly as scary as I’d thought they’d be. She took them really well. And I don’t have to worry about her throwing them back up. Anyway, she was in a better mood today and thought she was on the upswing. We came back to Columbia because Scott is working tonight. She threw up as soon as we hit the door and did once more again. I gave her her medicine and have to call the ped. first thing tomorrow for an appointment. Man, what a roller coaster weekend it has been.

The craziest never stopped. Emma started vomiting at 11:30 Friday night. After throwing up about every 20 minutes, at 3:30, Mom and I called it quits and Dad took me and Emma to the ER (Scott was working in Columbia). We were there until 7:00. I was so wiped out. She was still throwing up/started diarrhea Saturday and we took her back at 12:30 Saturday. We were there then until 4:30. She was not holding anything down. Today she had had a few more episodes and had begun to refuse to drink. We were concerned she had gotten dehydrated and took her back even though they had told us they’d probably admit her if she came again. This time we were there for about 2-3 hours but the dr assured us she wasn’t dehydrated and gave us a few more details on what to look for (tears, moist mouth). They also got her to eat a graham cracker after trying several things. Also, gave us more instructions on the nausea medicine. By the way, those suppositories are not nearly as scary as I’d thought they’d be. She took them really well. And I don’t have to worry about her throwing them back up. Anyway, she was in a better mood today and thought she was on the upswing. We came back to Columbia because Scott is working tonight. She threw up as soon as we hit the door and did once more again. I gave her her medicine and have to call the ped. first thing tomorrow for an appointment. Man, what a roller coaster weekend it has been.