Archives for 2006

I got a few things to talk about but this one has got to come first. Today we did a group chat with 4 of us from work. One of the guys asks me if I heard about Lance Bass being gay. Here’s a summary of the rest of the conversation (I’m A, he’ll be H):

A: yep
H: was he your favorite?
A: i wasn’t into them too much. during the college years, not much music
H: what?! no music in college? were you religious or something?
A: huh? i was and am. i just meant all i did was school, homework and work
H: really?? i didn’t know that
A: you knew i taught sunday school sometimes
H: yeah, but i thought that was like community service or something you just did. well, not exactly that, but you know what i mean
A: nope, the real thing
H: that’s cool, tho, i didn’t know that about you

OK, he also knew I had been to youth camp, taught in VBS and I think he may have known I sing in the choir. Is it that hard to deduce that someone is “religious” from that? I don’t really know his background, especially religious one, except that he was born in Kuwait, grew up in I think Australia and maybe London in boarding schools, does not regularly practice religion, married an American girl who apparently goes to church but doesn’t believe in organized religion much and I once heard him say he’d basically believe whatever helped him out the most. He didn’t say that directly to me so I don’t want to take it out of context especially if he was joking but that’s the feel I get from him anyway.

So all afternoon all I can think about is what a crappy job I’ve done if someone I’ve worked with for years doesn’t even know I’m religious, much less a devout Christian. So I keep thinking, I’m just going to tell everyone I meet, did you know I believe in Jesus, that I’m a sinner, that Christ died for my sins, rose again and is preparing a place in heaven for me where we will reign eternally? And guess what, I’d really like it if you believed that too. OK, so I really don’t plan on doing that but I think it sucks that I haven’t been forthright enough that someone couldn’t figure that out. Now I hope he’s not recounting every conversation we had and trying to figure out if it all fits.

And it made me think of something. In some ways, I don’t like telling people I’m “religious”. I never wore the WWJD bracelets, don’t care for the fish car stickers, anything like that. I don’t feel “good enough” to broadcast that blatantly just because of the way people start picking you apart after that. But I think it’s sad that a lot of people have a stereotype of Christians or religious people that they think Christians believe they are perfect people. Somehow things you do that are “bad” are like 100 times worse just because you claim you are a Christian. And in reality, the fact that you claim you are a Christian is putting your stake in the ground that you aren’t perfect and need Christ. The first step in becoming a Christian (ever learn the ABC’s in VBS?) is to Admit you are a sinner. And even as I become a more mature Christian the more I realize that the very best we have to offer is filthy rags. So in that respect it’s hard for me to come right out and say it. In my heart of hearts, I don’t want people look at me and say THAT’S what a Christian looks like? Or do a double-take when I screw up and do something “unChristian-like” and then call me a hypocrite and say that’s why I’m not a Christian. I don’t mean to say I purposely hide that I’m a Christian. I openly talk to anyone about any question they have, a unashamedly talk about church and stuff that is going on there it’s just, I don’t take an extra step to show I am without a real connection with a person. I don’t know if I can explain it really except to say you probably won’t find a Christian t-shirt in my closet, you won’t find a fish sticker on my van, my cube at work wouldn’t have a calendar with pictures of gardens and verses on it, I don’t sign emails with or say God Bless to a cashier. Maybe I should, maybe I should take every opportunity to let anyone know I’m a Christian. It’s just some things some people do seem so, I don’t know, empty. Maybe I’m wrong and maybe H would have known I was “religious” if I had done something differently. Or maybe it’s just not something he was looking for and in his ignorance of our culture/habits didn’t realize what all the “clues” meant. I’m just saying it’s made me think about all of that.

Ok, that’s enough for one entry, I’ll move on.

Found this on myspace. Kind of entertaining.

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi

I think I’m in a movie mood lately. I watched In Her Shoes last night while Scott was at work. The movie was nothing really like I thought it was going to be. I was pretty impressed with it actually. It was a good story about growing up and learning and sisters and it actually made me cry at one point.

We spent most of the evening at Mom’s house swimming. I meant to work on the youth’s web site while watching the movie but Emma fell asleep in my lap during the beginning of it and then I just was too lazy to take her to bed and by the time I did that, I was too engrossed in the movie to care about working on anything on the computer.

This week I have been trying really hard to do a little devotional every morning instead of failing to do it most nights. Monday I made it up before the girls which makes it easier. Sunday night in youth we went over the parable of the sower (I think that’s the name) and it was really interesting. So I’ve been going through some parables. I think I’ve read all of them and I’ve tried to glean something new from them but haven’t so far. I think I need a study guide or something. I did look one of them up on the Internet Monday morning but it was going off on some tangent that didn’t seem right so I gave up on that.

Today Jaynee and family are coming to my house!! I think anyway. She hasn’t called yet. But I can’t believe she has really moved South and is coming to my house! Craziness I tell you.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/07/26/387/

Wow, I haven’t written in awhile. Nothing major going on but work is keeping me super busy. I have a project going in mid-August and I’m not even near being ready for it to go in. I’ve been staying up working unti 11 and 12 getting things done.

So Friday we watched Failure to Launch here at the house. It was a cute movie which I actually rewatched last night. It wasn’t one of my favorites but it’s a no-brainer with lots of good stuff to look at. Matthew McConaughey was like dripping with charm. He flashed that smile at every turn. It was actually a little overdone at times. And I think they had a hard time marrying the concept that a guy that was so charming and successful also was a bum living at home and then tried to have some comical relief with him and the animals attacking him. It just didn’t seem to all fit together. And Sarah Jessica Parker always seems, I don’t know, stiff when she acts. And I didn’t really like the premise that the only reason she couldn’t date him was because he was once engaged. They needed to have a better reason, like he was saving his money for a boat and at the end he buys it and sails off or something.

Anyway, so Saturday we cleaned a little, hung around here and went to D&D’s that evening. The girls had a blast. D and I just sat in the kitchen while they ran around the house. Thankfully, they’re house is very kid-proofed since they still don’t have anything over from their old house and since their house is still pretty small without the addition yet. We were able to let them do their own thing while we were able to talk with very little interruption.

Sunday could be explained very easily with church, nap and church.

Scott worked last night. I took the girls to the gym and met D for spinning class. I always feel so accomplished after that class. It really kicks your butt. I think you must burn 6-700 calories.

Nothing planned yet for this weekend since Scott is working except this weekend is homecoming at church. And my niece is in a pageant this Sunday morning too. I think Emma is going to go with them but I really just don’t want to miss church. If it wasn’t homecoming, I would probably go. I really would like to see how those pageants work if nothing else. And my nephew is walking her down the runway thingy so I know it would be cute to see how it goes. Ugh.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/07/25/386/

A mother’s work is never done. Today it seemed like I cleaned up wiped every surface we had, picked up every toy we had, changed all the diapers, changed all the clothes, fixed all the food and answered all the unending demands. I’m not totally stressed or tired tonight but today I definitely felt like a mother. Emma opened up her caramel dip from McD’s in the van after I told her not to and she had a MESS in her car seat. Lexi peed on the floor while she was still in her bathing suit without a swimmie diaper (ok, that was self-inflicted but still, I wiped up pee, come on). Lexi spilled her tea on the kitchen floor. I somehow put something red in Emma’s clothes and the white stuff all turned pink including her bed sheet. Good thing her walls are pink too. Emma had me fix pancakes AGAIN and didn’t eat them AGAIN. And Scott slept from working last night until 2pm today. I didn’t get a shower until 4pm. I had a conference call for an hour during all this. And somehow managed to work extra hours today. Which might actually explain the entire mess of the house. Anyway, it seemed like I kept cleaning today and yet still had a mess. That running in circles thing again.

I feel thoughtful tonight but not sure about what. I feel like I need to write and get some stuff out. I’m not really sure what that is exactly but…

I’m thinking about converting to WordPress. I set it up for our youth group and it was super easy. I set it up but apparently the youth pastor would like a more “neon/black light” look to it so it might be back to the drawing board with the colors, but I think it’s pretty cool for now, especially compared to their current web site.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/07/20/385/

I’m too tired to make this a long entry. All we did for my bday yesterday was eat dinner/cake at my mom’s and swim. It was nice thought. Scott bought me Failure to Launch. Dad helped finance a new computer since mine died this weekend. Heather did me a scrapbook for Lexi. And I got some garden stuff from my aunt.

Work seems to be tumbling upon me. I have so much to do. I really think I’m going to have to work overtime some. Which is good because I found out I finally got my raise. 3%. Not bad.

Lexi is sleeping for the second night without her pacifier. We left Mom’s without it last night and that was our only one left. So we said if it got too bad, we’d just go buy her new ones at Target. She went right down without them. She didn’t have it all day either except at MILs. She said she got fussy and gave it to her. I brought her home without it and put her down to bed with no problems. She is still hanging on to her blankie though. I’m not even going to attempt to take that from her.

I finished the Da Vinci Code last week and then finished Dan Brown’s other book Deception Point. Both were excellent books. He knows how to cook up some twisted, yet easy to follow plots. I’m dying to see the Da Vinci Code movie now. I of course don’t agree with the theories that are proposed in the book but it was an excellent read and I know if the movie lives up to the book that it will be great to watch.

I went to work today. The guys all went to lunch and surprised me by telling the waiter it was my birthday. We had planned on doing a big lunch for my bday at Cheesecake Factory but one of the guys mother died unexpectantly Friday and we weren’t thinking it was quite appropriate so we’re postponing and planning for next month maybe. I headed to the gym after work today and then went to Mom’s shop to eat a quick bite with them and then went to church. I rounded up the kids at MIL’s after that and here I am now. I’m tired and I really need to do some work but I don’t think I’m up for it right now. What sounds good right now is a warm bed. Maybe I’ll get up in the morning and try to work before Lexi and Emma wake up.

OK, so maybe I AM going to do a long entry. later.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/07/19/384/

OH, and good news…the nurse called today and said my cholesterol had dropped from 207 to 172. The LDL had dropped from 122 to 106. I still need to get that to 99 or below. But guess what??? The exercise is actually working!! Yay me!

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/07/17/383/

We’re back from the beach. It was a pretty good time. Pretty relaxing. We didn’t try to fit too many things in and yet were still out every day. We stayed busy but weren’t stressed about it. Which is good. SIL only had two little “episodes” but didn’t involve anyone else except her husband. We did the usual, up in the morning, beach for an hour or so, lunch at the house, out for shopping and then the evening at home. Late night at the beach/ice cream/putt-putt. The weather was awesome. Stayed about 85 and breezy.

We left Saturday morning to make it to my friend’s wedding. It was so good seeing him and other people that went that I used to work with. It was a really pretty wedding and everything went smoothly. They make a really great couple. I’m so happy for him. I have to say it was a little bittersweet though. It was a little bit of a goodbye in some ways. Him and I haven’t talked much in the past few years and I REALLY miss our old talks at work and even after I left, through email. Both of us have gotten really busy the past few years so I understand but something about Saturday was in the back of my mind was almost like closing a chapter. I’m hoping the four of us can get together sometime and get to know each other better and catch up. But part of me knows too that we probably won’t ever talk like we used to. And I’ve known that for awhile now but I guess the wedding was a reminder and it made me sad. I hate growing up!

My birthday is tomorrow. I will be 28. Still hanging on to my 20’s!! Nothing planned really. I think my mom is going to make me a cake. My favorite chocolate cake/chocolate icing. I don’t think I like this getting older thing. I feel like I just am getting comfortable with myself and part of me wishes I could go back to 15 or 16 and try it all again. Not that I regret anything, I just think I could have made more of it.

Scott turned 31 on Saturday. Still can’t believe he is 31! I’ve been with him since he was 18. There was a couple that celebrated 69 years of marriage at my church this week. I can’t imagine 69 years but then I think Scott and I have been together for 12 and sometimes it seems like the blink of an eye.

Sheesh, I’ve got to get off here…so much work to do after a week!

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/07/17/382/