Somehow I forgot about posting last week’s study. I’ll try to do both of them here. A lot of it is lists of things.
OK, this got REALLY long, click to see the rest…if anyone is actually reading this, let me know. It takes awhile to write these up and I don’t want to spend the time doing it if no one cares…just sayin’. You won’t hurt my feelings but I’m putting this up hoping a few are interested.
Chapter 3 – The way it begins is the way it ends
This chapter was a little weird for me. They started out talking about two types of relationships…the one that starts fast (meet at a party and stuck at the hip right away), end fast (the relationship lasts for a week if it’s lucky. may hurt bad at first, but it’s over quickly) and the one that starts slow (dating your best friend), ends slow (hurts really bad and for a long time because you’re losing your friend too). I really liked this part of the book. They point out that no matter what, dating a friend is not a good idea. More than likely it WILL NEVER be the same as it was before.
So what I didn’t like is the segue to the next part..they try to make the point the way it starts is the way it ends and then gives them a list of things to do/think about to make it “end well” before it even starts. They ask them to think about how you want to be remembered when the relationship will end…do you want to be the one that got away and he’s sorry it never worked? If so, here’s some things to do…
- Be mysterious – More in another chapter but quit telling him so much!
- Be adventurous – More in another chapter but take risks!
- Get involved – Do outside activities because it will
- Build self-esteem
- Have experiences unlike anyone else
- You’ll have interesting things to talk about
- You’ll literally be hard to catch b/c you’re so busy
- Be creative. Try new things…paint, write, sing, do collages, scrapbook, go to museums.
- Be carefree – Quit getting bent out of shape about so many things.
- Laugh – Laugh at him and yourself. Guys love for girls to laugh at them.
- Be positive – Don’t say it if it’s not nice. If someone else says a negative, you say a positive. It’s a downer to be around someone so negative.
- Ask Questions about him – everyone likes talking about themselves. Quit talking about you all the time and ask him anything!
And the point of this chapter…if you can do these things, you will be more dateable and be “the one that got away”. OK, my only thing is whoever is like that is pretty perfect and that would be hard to attain. But I do think if girls can TRY to be more of those things, it not only makes them dateable, it makes them better people in general.
Chapter 4 If I Will Do it For You, I Will Do It To You
This chapter was basically about character. I like the example they gave at the beginning of a politician basically trying to say what goes on in his personal life has nothing to do with his political life. Wrong! It’s a character issue and that’s WHO HE IS. So this concept of if a guy will do ___ FOR you, he will do ___ TO you. They actually apply this to friends as well as boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. The examples explain it better…
- Liars. If a friend will lie to your parents FOR you, when it’s an opportune time, they’ll lie TO you. If a guy lies to his girlfriend so he can talk to you, he’ll lie to you so he can talk to another girl.
- 2-faced. If a friend will talk about another friend to you behind your back, she’ll talk about you behind YOUR back.
- Blabbermouth – If a friend is dishing all the gossip, she’s dishing all YOUR gossip. The girls seemed to really connect with this and were pointing fingers at each other.
- Stealing . If you see a friend steal something or they steal something FOR you, they’ll steal something FROM you.
- Cheat. If a guy will cheat on his girlfriend to be with you, he’ll cheat ON YOU to be with another girl.
Now that sounds really bad and seems like everyone is horrible. But there is such a thing as character and teenage girls should be aware that most likely, if they did it to the last girl, they’re gonna do it to them.
I do think there is a thing of more special relationships than others. Like for me, there ARE certain people I would do things to that I wouldn’t to another friend. That sounds bad, but I think it’s true. AND I do think people CAN change so it’s not always fair to judge people based on past errors but I just told the girls…don’t be the guinea pig to find out if a guy has really changed. Let him prove he is different BEFORE dating him.
Now, the end of this chapter IS all about change and gets the girls to look at themselves…which ones are you in the list above and which do you want to change? They give some steps on how to change a character issue and close with saying then you will be more dateable.
Wow…how long are posts allowed to be??? I think I’m going to split these after all..