Ok, that last one got long so I decided to go ahead and do this one separately. Click below for the full version.
Chapter 5 Guys Will Lie
OK, guys reading this, don’t get mad. The girls lying chapter is next. lol
Part 1 – Guys will lie with their WORDS .
This goes back to what we talked about in the beginning..guys may not exactly lie but sometimes they either say it and not really mean it like that or they will use the truth to their advantage. They may say I love you and girls take that as oh, we’re going to get married. But guys are thinking…I do love her. But I also love my mom and my dog.
They say guys love to win…they are inherently competitive and they really want the girl’s attention and I believe they GENUINELY want the girls to like them but IN MOST CASES they are saying things and EXPECTING a physical payoff for how nice they are. They know girls are into the emotional/dream world thing and they’ll buy into it and say what the girl wants to here just to make her happy and eventually get the physical payoff.
Girls must remember no matter how much he means it…and he might COMPLETELY MEAN IT, he’s a guy first. Girls need to quit taking everything so literally. If he compliments you, fine. Take it. But don’t make decisions based off of that.
Part 2 – Guys like with their ACTIONS
And probably even more. How about the foot rubs? Opening car doors? Shopping all day and not buying anything? Buying you flowers? Why is he doing all this? Is he GENUINELY a nice guy or is he lying with his actions just to get what he wants?
Those actions CAN BE real but look at how he treats his friends. Look at how he treats his mother and sister. Is he really a gentleman or is he just playing you??
I just want the girls to just be aware. Knowledge is power. Quit taking every nice thing for granted that he’s SO into you. Maybe he is, maybe he isn’t. But don’t jump in the backseat with a guy just because he’s nice to you a few times.
Now it sounds like the book is quite the downer on guys but they point out that this is mainly TEENAGE boys they’re referring to and yes, they really are immature and really do do things for the wrong reasons. But have hope! Boys turn into men (somewhere in their 30’s I’m guessing LOL)
The point of the whole chapter is remain dateable…Accept nice things but don’t think you owe him. Don’t get hooked every time a guys says one little thing.
They also give a warning about guys who are completely convinced it’s going to last…these are the guys who can really convince it’s going to last and get her to give up physically.
Chapter 6 Girls Will Lie
Now guys, you should feel better because this chapter was WAY LONGER than the guys. Girls really do believe so many lies and really get themselves into dating trouble. The point of this chapter is girls don’t lie to guys, they lie to themselves.
- Dreamy – Girls are always believing the fairytale and they have a bad habit of projecting that Knight in Shining Armor onto every guy that comes along…oh HE’S the ONE. He’s so perfect. Basically that just sets up disappointment. Yes, girls should have standards but trying to hold every guy up to “the list” of the “perfect guy” is like telling a guy to pick out his Perfect 10 and expecting every girlfriend to live up to that. It’s unfair and unrealistic.
- I’m Better Than Her – Girls tend to believe he’s going to treat you differently because you’re special. Yes, every girl is special but he’s not going to treat you differently. If all his ex’s say he’s a jerk, that’s because he’s a jerk. Again, it’s a character issue.
- I’ll fix him – Girls want to believe they can fix guys. And for a time, a guy might SEEM fixed, but God is the only one that can change him and he needs to show you that BEFORE you date.
- It’s her fault – Girls tell themselves when the guy cheats, it’s the girl’s fault. So after a time that you’re mad, you let him back in. That’s just teaching the guy he can cheat and get away with it. (Remember this is talking about teen dating, not marriage)
- He’s just upset – Girls are really good at coming up with excuses as to why guys abuse them, drink, are mean, etc.
- Sex is Love – Girls are really good at believing that sex will make her and the guy closer and it will be special. Negatory.
- We’re just fooling around – Girls believe guys when they say they can just fool around and not have sex. The natural progression of that is sex. And in the moment, it will quickly happen.
- Long phone call – Girls believe long phone calls mean they were meant to be. If we can talk that long…we must be great together. The guy just wants to get back to watching the game…he doesn’t care you just talked 2 hours.
- I can call him – Girls feel like they can make the first move. If a guy doesn’t call you, he’s either not into you THAT MUCH or he’s just not man enough. Either way, you don’t want him.
- He’s Got Another Girl, So He Must Be Hot – After a girl rejects a guy, they have a tendency to believe he’s hot…right after he gets a girlfriend. They should know if they didn’t want him when he was single, they shouldn’t want him now.
- He’s Too Nice – This is the opposite train of thought…some girls think if a genuinely nice guy is nice to her, he must be weird or wrong. The girls must realize they ARE valuable and learn how to accept a genuine compliment. Now we just told them be careful of their intentions. And yes, they should be. The point is not to make it a make or break moment. Don’t take it so seriously that you think he’s all into you and don’t devalue yourself either.
All of those issues boil down to acceptance. We really want that dreamy fairytale where a guy really, really loves us. Which is OK UNTIL you start making decisions based on these lies. If you stay with a guy who is abusing you because you make excuses and think you can change him, it’s BAD. Girls need to take a step back and see if what they are doing are based on lies they are believing.
I haven’t taught this one yet…it’s for tomorrow so I don’t know their reaction.