Today’s sermon centered around courtship. What it should like, how many times it doesn’t look like that and what to do about it. I took so many notes, it’s kind of ridiculous. I’ll try to keep this brief.
It started out with the description of a child finding a cocoon. When he starts seeing the butterfly trying to come out, he tries to help it along not realizing that hurrying the process hurts the butterfly and turns it into what Chris called a “buttercrawl”.
So often we approach attraction/dating/marriage like this. We try to hurry the process along and it breaks everything.
Song of Songs Ch.2
- v1 – She’s asking if she’s beautiful (men, you better have the right answer ready!)
- v2 – He says, yes, very
- v3 – She feels protected and secure but also nourished as a person.
- v4 – He professes his love publicly and commits to her
- v5 – She loves the attention
- v6 – He catches her as she swoons
- v7 – She realizes what’s happening and tells her friends not to awaken love before the appointed time
- v14 – She’s protecting herself. He’s saying I don’t want you just for your body, I want to see and get to know you
- Ch3 She begins to think about what this will look like..she’s daydreaming. Again in v5 she says not to awaken love before the appointed time. Even though she wants to take it to the next level, she’s waiting.
One thing – “Love has a proper pace.”
We want to skip the process but here is what it should be:
- Love Jesus and pursue Him
- Only look for mates that also pursue Jesus. No Plan B! Dad’s date your daughters. Invest in them and give them a standard. If not, they will be willing to try to find it elsewhere.
- Only date someone you will marry. It should be the only reason to date someone.
- Marriage & intimacy – Two people become one verbally and physically.
Can not rush this process. If you do, you become warped, messed up buttercrawls.
If you are single and they are not interested in pursuing you personally (nourishing you) then they won’t care later. Lose them! If you are married, don’t stop dating your spouse. Still pursue your wife as a person, not just their body.
If you’re a buttercrawl and you are a Christian, you need a Gospel-centered confession. You have been choosing sex over Jesus. We’re not animals, we can honor Him with our choices. There is hope, Jesus makes you new. Put yourself in a community with accountability.
1 – You may say it is not possible. Romans 7:24-8:2 It IS possible. Not for you, but through Him.
2 – You may say it’s too painful. You have to do what it takes to honor Him. (He also had a great joke about cutting it off if it causes you to sin HA)
3 – You must be diligent. Romans 13:13-14 Work hard, have accountability. Make sacrifices, it’s important. Your future family matters, not the moment. We are allowing culture to dictate our morality. It comes down to Who do you worship?
- If you are married, are you courting your wife? Plan a date for this week!
- If you are single, go on group dates, don’t be alone, set boundaries. End the relationship if need be or start the relationship over, even if it’s with the same person.
Such great, great stuff for single people especially. Then again, I’m excited about getting a date night!
You can listen to the full sermon here. Please do, he talked about more than I even have here.
On another note about the church this week, the local paper had a great article about the church’s expansion today and Heather and I made it into one of the pictures. We remembered the guy taking our picture that morning but had no clue what is was for.