Archives for March 2010

Looking Up: A Lesson from a Fan Site

angrycomputergirlThis week has been tough in fan-site ownership.  Drama abounds.  And not just silly drama.  Drama that made a person involved cry for hours.  And it’s not just one incident, I’ve seen it since Day 1 on my other sites.  People can be nasty, hateful, rude.  It’s sad really when all we’re trying to do is promote something we love and have to deal with the crap we deal with.  But it got me thinking today.  What really is the impetus for their behavior?  Why, on what’s supposed to be a fan site, somewhere people are supposed to get excited about something, do people lash out?  I thought about the situations where people have gotten pretty upset and tried to boil them down to a few reasons why someone might act like that.  It comes out of needs.  Needs that are not new to you or me but I find it fascinating that even on a little fan site, that they come out screaming.

Respect – I would say this is one of the loudest needs I’ve seen.  People want the right to voice their opinion and be respected when it doesn’t agree with others.  People want respected when something they own is shared.  People want to be treated fairly in a disagreement.  They want respect.

Connection – This may be the one that fan sites were created for.  People want to find others that love the same thing and they want to interact because of it. They want to celebrate it together.  They want to share in the highs and lows.  It’s rarely fun to enjoy something and not share it with someone.  And when someone feels like they can’t connect with anyone?  Watch out.

Recognition – Everyone wants recognition.  Credit.  If they created it, found it, said it, shared it, they want their name on it.  And the bigger, brighter, louder, the better.  And sometimes people are just nasty simply to get the recognition.  No other reason they deserve to be recognized,they just want the spotlight and they’ll cause drama just to get it.

Acceptance – Everyone likes to be part of the group and I never see as much lashing out as when someone isn’t accepted into the group.


And I think when you step back you see that at the end of the day, these people are looking to others to meet their needs.  And yes, I believe we are created for community, for togetherness but we aren’t created to hurt those same people when they don’t meet our needs.

To those people I would say, it’s ok when you have a different opinion than someone else.  Share something just to bring someone else joy.  Create because it’s beautiful.  Say it because it’s meaningful.  It’s ok to be outside the popular crowd.  Leave feedback for someone else’s benefit, not your own.  Because people are going to fail you.  Your needs are not always going to be met.  So please.  Give people the thing you are desiring…respect, recognition, acceptance, connection…and quit hurting those around you in response.

And ultimately I believe you can best do that through knowing that there is One who will always, always meet our needs.  God always respects us, always will connect with us, always recognizes us, always accepts us.  And when someone doesn’t show us acceptance, we can rest in the fact that always without fail, there is One who does.  When someone isn’t talking back to us the way we’d like, there is someone always without fail waiting to talk to us.  When someone doesn’t give us a pat on the back, He says “I see”.  When someone leaves us out of a group, He opens His arms.  We don’t have to lash out and be hateful.

To these people, I say: Quit looking out and look up.

American Idol Top 10


Siobhan – Some rough spots.  Some amazing spots.  Just eh for me. I know she can do better and I’m still a huge fan.

Casey – I really enjoyed this.  Felt like it really highlighted the best parts of his voice.  Casey!

Mike – Kara said it was lovely.  But that’s about it for me.  Lovely.  I don’t know what it is about Mike but I can not get excited about him.  I’m just like, it’s good.  No qualms about the quality.  I just don’t care about him.  Not to sound rude/harsh but I just can’t get on the Big Mike Train and I can’t explain why really.

Didi – Her vocals were pretty strong but I felt like she aged herself with that.  She should have been beside a piano in a bar in the 40s or something.  But not quite as good.  She was like that.

Tim – fast forwarded.  ugh.

Andrew THANK YOU for returning.  Loved that!!

Katie – Really boring for me.  Partway through as I was surfing the web I was like, oh yeah, Katie’s singing.  I agree with Randy that her voice was very Christina-ish tonight.

Lee – Three bars in and I’m YES, YES, YES!!  This is gonna be a moment!!  And YES, that was so on point.   Awesome!!!  Yes!  Glad the judges agree…seriously Lee’s moment of the season.

Crystal – Once again, that’s a professional on stage.

Aaron – He seemed a little disconnected and the whole thing fell flat for me.

Favorites: Lee and Crystal!

In trouble: Tim or Didi

Check for more reviews

Top Ten Tuesday: Products I Refuse to Pay For

It’s no shock I love coupons.  You may not be convinced that it’s worth the time but I thought I’d list out things that I haven’t paid for in over two years that I’ve been couponing.  (Here’s one of my favorite deals) Also, here’s a peek into my closet space where I store these things.  I like to call it my personal mini-CVS.  This is just half the closet and I give away bags of free stuff regularly.


So here’s what I refuse to pay for these days…

  1. Razors.  Even the fancy battery operated, refill required ones.
  2. Tylenol.  Brand name!
  3. Cold Medicine
  4. Body Wash
  5. Lotion
  6. Shampoo/conditioner
  7. Sunless tanning lotion
  8. Deodorant
  9. Cleaner (almost any kind…toilet,bleach spray, etc)
  10. Toothbrush/toothpaste

If I bought just one of each of those at full price, that list would total nearly $60!  I’ll go ahead and plug  I learned everything from Crystal!  And the thing is, that doesn’t even touch the grocery store!  That’s just health and beauty products from CVS!  I get so excited; can you tell from the exclamation marks!?!


Make sure to check out more Top Ten Tuesday lists at

Renovation Progress 3/30

For those around last summer, you may remember some renovations we did, namely in the kitchen and bathroom.  There were still a few items that were outstanding from the original plan when Sally came to visit.  We finally scratched one more off the list this weekend.

If you remember, the living room looked like this:


We were supposed to add some scones on either side of the TV.

IMG_6465 copy

I had picked those out but after we really strapped down on our finances, I just couldn’t make myself fork out a few hundred dollars for them.  This weekend Scott stumbled upon some wireless sconces in HomeGoods.  I was very hesitant as they looked a bit small and wondered about their quality but you know?  For $40 for both of them AND we didn’t have to worry about wires, I’m really happy.


I think the color is perfect and it’s very nice when it’s night time.  It feels very movie theater-ish!

And while we’re at it, can we please mourn the loss of a pair of these really cool lamps? 

photo 2 (3)

I bought a set from HomeGoods to go in my bedroom but it just didn’t work out right and I returned them last night.  They look so cool lit up.  We even had people stopping us through the store asking if there were more.  They did have a teal/aqua set as well so check your local store if you’re interested!

Daily Peek: Needles, Tornadoes and Grocery Stores

photo (the girls are sitting by the road watching for a neighbor’s lost dog. don’t worry, the road was not busy and they aren’t quite as close as it looks.)

Honestly today was a pretty crappy door day.  See?  I just typed door instead of day.  That doesn’t make one bit of sense.  I worked until 1:30 last night, still had issues this morning, had to get up early to get to the doctor for blood work,  got another shot, had a bad coupon experience at Harris Teeter, had an issue on my Danny site, blah, blah, blah…there was more but I’m just tired of hearing myself complain.

I did end the day with a little laugh.  Our conversations at bedtime can be pretty random.   Usually one of the girls say “how did we get on this topic”?  Here was one such conversation that had me giggling.  Maybe just because today was so bad.

Me: What’s the sound?
Emma: An airplane
Lexi: What would happen if a plane landed in our neighborhood
Me: It wouldn’t be good
Emma: The wings would hit the houses
Lexi: …and there would be no houses.  It’d be like the tornado in Africa
Emma: It wasn’t even in Africa, it was in Haiti
Me: It wasn’t even a tornado, it was a hurricane.
*pausing knowing that’s not right but my brain? is fried.*
Me: I mean it was an earthquake
Lexi: earthquick
Me: it’s an earth QUAKE
Lexi: earthquick.
Me: quake
Lexi: earthquick earthquick earthquick.
Me: whatever
Lexi: When are we going back to Earth Fare?

I love how Lexi’s brain works.

Hope your Monday treated you well.  Bring on Tuesday for me!