Archives for March 2010

No, not together!  Although the first does tend to follow the resolution of the second.  I realized I completely forgot to blog last week’s Sunday Highlights about sex.  This week was about conflict.  So here we go!

Week 3 – Sex

Last week Chris went verse by verse through Chapter 3, 4 and 5.  I highly recommend you listen to the podcast.  I’ve read Song of Solomon so many times and never really understood what was actually happening, what was metaphors, etc.  It finally is making sense!

The one thing from last week is “Marriage and sex are to be celebrated.”

A few talking points other than explaining the verses:

• Men use romance to get sex.  Women use sex to get romance.
• She looks perfect to him.  If you (talking to men) are having a hard time with this, starve your mind.  Quit looking at women, pornography, catalogs, etc so you can quit the comparison game.
• Through their courtship, she said over and over don’t awaken love until the appropriate time. v16 she finally says awaken love.
• Men love a responsive wife, both audible and visual (AWKWARD moment)
• “Drink, be intoxicated with love.” God has ordained this.  It should be celebrated.
• Marriage is important to kids, family, neighbors.  The church is at stake.  We create the standard.

1. Confess your sins. He will take your mess and use it for His glory.  Be responsible for you.  Help put your spouse in the best position to succeed.
2. Have next steps
3. Communicate

If you are single acting married, break up or start the relationship over.  Create boundaries.  Sacrifice today for a greater blessing tomorrow.

Week 4 – Conflict

Before marriage we have a heightened sensitivity to our own faults and lowered sensitivity to our partner’s.  After marriage, you have a heightened sensitivity to your spouse’s faults and a lowered sensitivity to your own.

One thing – “If you want to live happily ever after, you will have to work for it.”

Fighting exposes your character.  Healthy couples fight clean.  The hammers – “I hate you” “I wish I never married you” are damaging and speaks to your own issues.

The biggest problem in conflict is the person wants to win the fight.  The question you should ask yourself is do you want to win or are you more interested in reconciling?  Even if you fight until you win, everyone loses.  Your goal should be to reconcile the relationship.  The goal is to live happily ever after but it takes work and sacrifice.

Negativity breeds negativity.  Don’t go to people with issues to help fix your problems.

In chapter 6, we find out Solomon has 140 other women.  The Shulammite woman is jealous because his attention has been diverted.  The relationship is crowded.  Needs can not be met in a crowded relationship.  You may not be married to 140 women, but what else are you married to?  Work? Hobby? Pornography? Children?

Return to where we were at the beginning.  Look at our issues and resolve them.  Have a heightened sensitivity to our own issues.  Have a healthy self-knowledge and then do something about it.  Jesus is the Healer.  He can change you.  Let Him execute justice. Even if your spouse does not deserve your grace, you extend it and let Him execute justice.  Your responsibility is to show your spouse Jesus.

Check out both podcasts here.  If you’re in the area, we’d love to have you as our guest!  Next week’s sermon is on “True Love”.  Can’t wait!