“How did we even get here?” Scott stared at me with a blank face from his recliner. We were making our decision on the contractor and it suddenly hit us that we’ve been on a train called “Addition” and weren’t even sure how or when we got on.
“I don’t know,” I laughed.
And I really don’t. It seems just weeks ago we were just doing life and suddenly we’re going 90 mph ahead trying to get the house done and get started on our adoption process.
Yesterday we had to get off the train for a second and say, wait a minute. What are we doing? Where is this drive really coming from? Are we on the right train? Who’s leading this thing anyway?
I told Scott, “Listen, I feel like in a lot of ways I’ve been pushing you through all this and even though I’ve felt good about it, I want to know you’re in 100%. Just say the word and right now is the time to stop it all.” And it is. As early as next week we could be digging footings and what’s the point if we aren’t going to adopt? We’re at a serious crossroad right now. We either get back on this train and do it, and do it well, or we leave the station.
“Let me think about it,” he said and pushed the button on his PS3 controller to start another game.
It was hard walking away then. To not nag or prod. To list all the ways I thought God had orchestrated this. But this is the part where the wife submits. To let the responsibility lay with the husband. To trust that God would lay on his heart the same message. It’s not that Scott has been against this. Anyone that knows Scott would know he stops a train in its track with a heavy-duty “No” when he’s not into something. But I’m not sure he had committed to it.
Scott finished a few games and then left to get the kids. When he got back he told me we had an appointment with our chosen contractor the next day.
“So I guess we’re doing this?” I tried to confirm.
Scott leaned down on the floor to pick up a piece of grass, “Yeah, I think we should do it.”
So we are. All aboard. This is about to get crazy.