In which we write for 5 minutes on identity – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking:
I am His, He is mine. I don’t know how to do life without Him. But sometimes I don’t know how to do life with Him either. It’s because of this vast difference between Him and I that I struggle. But I know that life is in Him. I must remain in Him, on the vine. Especially when I have no idea what I’m doing, which I’m learning is most of the time. But I can’t just set it aside, ignore it, make a snap decision. It is more than a belief, a thought, an interpretation. He is who I am. I must filter all things through His truth. But oftentimes because I’m not Him yet and He doesn’t always give me eyes to see I don’t know who I am and I don’t know who to be. But it doesn’t mean I give up, quit the fight, give in. I search. My heart searches like a mother finding a lost child or the shepherd with his wayward sheep. I’m on that journey, that tiny road, trying to run when it’s all dark and there’s mud holding my feet back and weeds tripping me and branches slamming against me. I’m torn, scraped and dirty. But I must because I know the very best awaits. That unconditional, peaceful, fulfilling part when you know you found a little piece of Him. You’ve added that little part of Him into you to become Him.
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