During Summer of 7, I cleaned a lot of my clothes. I suppose in some ways I didn’t think through that because I didn’t leave myself too many items for the cold days. I suppose when it’s 102 out you just convince yourself you just don’t need too many sweaters. Well, it seems I do actually need a few extra items. So I’ve been adding some clothes to my Christmas wish lists and doing a tiny bit of shopping.
Over the last few years after reading Crazy Love and Radical and starting Blood:water belt, I’d just stopped shopping. Sure, a few times a year I’d visit Old Navy for the girls and pick myself up a few things but I avoided Target like the plague and didn’t seek out The Loft. I was just so done with spending my money and regretting it. (P.S. You MUST read the latest post about the blood:water belt)
I knew when I started WIWW posts that I’d want to buy more things. I was right, I do. Especially now that I need some winter clothes. And since I’ve been letting myself shop a bit for winter clothes and Christmas shopping, I’ve been kind of a train wreck.
I gave in and bought two shirts and two sweaters at Target last week. All of it was on sale and one was even a maternity shirt on clearance (did you read how I buy maternity even thought I am NOT pregnant?). I got home and saw there was a gap in the stitching of one of the sweaters. I thought to go exchange it but when I took it back I just couldn’t. I let them put the money back on the card and left Target empty-handed.
A few weeks ago I realized the brown boots I wear constantly had completely lost their form. I’d be walking and realize the left one was sagging. My boots would be uneven and I’d look silly. I’d have to tug on the boots and wear 2 and 3 pairs of socks to try to keep them up. I finally broke down and bought a new pair when Nine West had a sale on top of a sale.
The boots arrived and I let them sit behind my desk on the floor in the box for 2 days before I would wear them. It killed me to spend that much money on one pair of shoes.
This morning I got a sale email from The Loft. Shirts were only $10. They had a pretty white one with black stripes and I knew it would be so cute with a scarf. I put that and another white tee in my bag. I went to check out and then I closed the tab. I couldn’t pull the trigger.
I feel like a maniac. There is this constant tension between what I want, what the world says I need and deserve and where I really want my money to go.
Believe me, I sure am enjoying my boots and new shirts and already am thinking about where to buy a red scarf before this weekend’s holiday parties (while simultaneously trying to convince myself I don’t need it).
I don’t always manage the tension well but I do believe at least some tension is good to keep spending in check.
I just wonder if anyone else is feeling this tension especially this holiday season as we’re shopping more? If so, how do you manage it? When do you decide to give in and when do you decide to hold off?