Archives for 2012

Growing up, my mom was super protective about my friends.  At times, I wasn’t allowed at places or with certain people.  I remember on one particular occasion having to wait until she could pray to know if I could go to a sleepover with a new set of friends.

My mom understood the power of friends.

We act like our friends. 

We do what our friends do. 

We form opinions with our friends. 

We go where our friends go. 

We wear what our friends wear.

We like what our friends like.

And if you’re like me, you even start talking like your friends.

Proverbs says if we want to be wise, we need to be with the wise. 

Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble Proverbs 13:20

Challenge: Think about the five people you would call your best friends (even online).  Are they wise or have a desire to be wise?  How do you act when you’re with them?  Do they bring out your good qualities or your bad qualities?

If God has put you into someone’s life to be a light, by all means, please do so but other times, we know that person isn’t the wise influence Proverbs suggests.

If you have children, pray for discernment about who they should spend time with. Sometimes they need to be a light but many times, they need protection!  Don’t be afraid to stand up for their future when you sense the need.

This post is part of The Nester’s 31 Days Series

Oddly enough, it’s my own husband that insults me the most.  I think he’d say the same about me.  It’s just inevitable, isn’t it, when two people live together for years on end?

Proverbs gives a glimpse about the wise response:

Foolsshow their annoyance at once,
but the prudent overlook an insult.

Many times regrettable words are said in anger.  The same is given in return and then it’s all a mess.

What would our relationships look like if we just stayed calm when someone lashed out instead of slinging the best comeback we could muster? 

What if we took 30 seconds to gather our thoughts before we responded?

What if, instead of slinging a comeback, we could just be honest and say you just hurt my feelings.

It’d be tough but I dare say it’d be good. 

Challenge: Give yourself 30 seconds to respond to an insult and then respond with honesty, not another insult.

This post is part of The Nester’s 31 Days Series

Feeling down and out?  Bottom of the barrel?  Need a vacation?

Proverbs 11:25 says the wise thing to do is refresh someone else.

A generous man will prosper;
he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.

Send a card to a friend.  Like a real, stamped envelope and everything. You send it but somehow you will feel like you got a gift too.

Pay for the person behind you in the drive-thru.  The first time I did this, it put me in tears.  It was so right.

Getting a massage or manicure or shopping will bring temporary happiness, but the way to true joy is in refreshing others.

This post is part of The Nester’s 31 Days Series

1 A wise son brings joy to his father,
but a foolish son brings grief to his mother.

Verse 1 in Chapter 10 perplexed me. 

Why does it mention joy with the father and grief with the mother? 

Am I not supposed to try to bring joy to my mother? 

Does it not matter if I grieve my father?

I have a hunch. But first, family dynamics. 

I know family dynamics are quite varied but traditionally, this is how families work:

Mom is the hub.  She has a pulse on the kids.  For many, because she stays at home.  When Johnny or Jane get in trouble, Mom correct and disciplines.  When Jane REALLY gets in trouble, Dad is called in to help discipline.

Now, when Jane does well, Mom congratulates Jane.  Dad doesn’t hear about small victories but when Jane is REALLY successful, Mom shares with Dad and it brings him joy. 

So. What do family dynamics have to do with verse 1?

Well, Solomon is saying don’t do anything that even your mother, who sees everything, would need to correct you about.  And furthermore, live in such a wise way, that your dad gets to hear A LOT of great highlights.

Sure, bring joy to your mother, but it probably means you are living even more wisely if your father is hearing about it.  In the same vein, don’t grieve your father, but it probably means you are living even more wisely if you don’t grieve your mother to start with.

Challenge of the day: make yo momma happy!

And all the moms said amen.

Remember, chapter 10 was addressed to Solomon’s sons, so it may not seem applicable to us as grown adults.  However, the general call to such a level of wisdom is understandable and applicable.  

This post is part of The Nester’s 31 Days Series

1 Wisdom has builther house;
she has set upits seven pillars.
² She has prepared her meat and mixed her wine;
she has also set her table.
³ She has sent out her servants, and she calls
from the highest point of the city,
⁴ “Let all who are simple come to my house!”
To those who have no sense she says,
⁵ “Come, eat my food
and drink the wine I have mixed.
⁶ Leave your simple ways and you will live;
walk in the way of insight.”

I admit, I was struggling with this chapter.  We have yet to get into the very practical section of Proverbs. Chapter 9 is the last chapter of the first section of Proverbs where it’s laying the foundation for the goodness of wisdom. 

I dug up some commentary on the verses 1-6 listed above and I’m so in love with the imagery now.

Chapter 9 describes wisdom building her house, setting up a feast and then calling out to those to come in to live. This preparation, feast and invitation is a picture of Christ himself. 

The house is a picture of heaven, built with pillars, which we know to be on a sure foundation.

The table is set out as Christ is preparing a feast for us.

Wisdom sends out servants, just as Christ sends out his disciples to invite others to the feast.

At the feast is food and wine, which is Christ himself as the sacrifice.  The invitation is to eat and to find life.

This passage to me is another example of how the Old Testament points to Christ and how the New Testament points back to the Old Testament in agreement. 

We are invited to wisdom but the real invitation is to Christ himself.

We must see that it is in Christ we are offered life and freedom.  These instructions in Proverbs are not to condemn us or restrict us but to experience that the Lord is good.  Obedience is not burdensome when we know He loves us and wants us to have life and life abundantly.

Wisdom, through Christ, will bring us abundant life here but the eternal life these verses allude to get me pumped!

In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. John 14:2

I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jac0b in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 8:11

We get to eat dinner with Father Abraham, ya’ll!

This post is part of The Nester’s 31 Days Series

We’re in Proverbs 8 today and I’d like to talk about excuses.  Excuses stop us from being wise but first we must understand that wisdom is not just knowing the right thing to do.  True wisdom is an obedience to instruction.  Proverbs 8:33 says

Listen to my instruction and be wise; do not ignore it.

Think of how silly it sounds to think of someone that doles out wisdom about finances and sexual integrity and then has $100,000 in credit card debt, sleeps around on his wife, watches porn to pass the time and spends all their money at the mall.  It doesn’t add up.  In order to be wise, you have to be wise.  In other words, it’s not just a head knowledge.

Proverbs 8:12 says

I, wisdom, dwell together with prudence

That word prudence has a negative connotation these days.  If you’re known as prudent, you’re a bore, a stick in the mud, a fuddy dud.  I think, though, once you look at the actual definition, that prudence is quite complimentary.

The verse says wisdom dwells together with prudence.  It’s saying if you have wisdom, you will then be able to discipline yourself, you’ll be able to manage your affairs, you’ll be able to properly use your resources.  Prudence ought to be a natural outflow of the inflow of wisdom.  In other words, you are not wise if you don’t act like it.

But what is in between wisdom and prudence?  Excuses!  Many times excuses stop us from putting into practice what we know to be wise.  Take the last week of posts here for instance, what excuses are you making for carrying these wise instructions out?

Wednesday we talked about honoring God with our possessions and money.  Have your excuses started…but I can’t…but we have…

Friday we talked about having joyful sex with your spouse. Have your excuses started..but he won’t…but she won’t…but he didn’t….

Saturday we talked about debt. Have your excuses started…but I need…but she wanted…but I can’t…

Sunday we talked about staying far from porn. Have your excuses started…but it doesn’t…but I’m not…

It’s easy to try to excuse ourselves but the rewards are so good if we would just lay them aside in obedience.  Proverbs 8:35 says

For whoever finds me[wisdom] finds life
and receives favor from the Lord.

I just can’t imagine a better reward.  So what are your excuses?  Be wise and excuse yourself from them.

This post is part of The Nester’s 31 Days Series

In chapter 7, Solomon tells a story about him standing at the window in his house and watching a young man in the streets being seduced by a woman. She’s dressed with intent and with sweet words, leads him into her house. Solomon warns the young men listening to the stories to not let their hearts be turned towards these women or stray into her paths. The paths she leads men down lead to death.

It may seem obvious that it’s wise to not commit adultery with a prostitute but I can’t help but believe that these verses are applicable to men and Internet pornography.  I know some try to argue that since nothing physical is taking place, it’s not cheating.  But Jesus has a different opinion.  In Matthew 5:28 he says anyone that looks lustfully has already committed adultery in his heart.  Also?  Ask a spouse of someone addicted.  You better believe she feels betrayed.

Well, it opens the topic. Is your spouse cheating with you? I know that sucks and that must be confirmed if that’s true or just gossips. Hiring people at discreetinvestigations.ca will be your best decision.

So that means men, listen up, the wisdom you need to take away is to “not stray into her paths” (v25).  You know what that means? 

Don’t even type in the URL. 

Don’t glance at the pictures. 

Don’t Google those search words. 

Don’t even go near a magazine. 

And women, listen, let’s not pretend that we don’t fall prey to Internet porn.  We must be wise as well about what we allow our eyes to see.

If you want to protect yourself, it’d be very wise to install some accountability software on your computer like Covenant Eyes and if you’re already entrenched and need out, I highly recommend XXXchurch.com or for females specifically, Dirty Girls Ministries.