Amy J. Bennett

Extraordinary Faith for Everyday Life

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Twitterature – August 2013

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I’m once again joining with Modern Mrs. Darcy for her monthly link-up for books called Twitterature.  The premise of this link-up is to share short, casual reviews of books we’ve been reading.

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After so many non-fiction books, I got on a fiction kick this month including one book to which I devoted an entire post.

The Fault in Our Stars

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Check out the full review here but I’ll say The Fault in Our Stars is one of my favorite novels ever.  Just so great.  #MustRead

 

Ender’s Game

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Ender’s Game is totally and completely different than anything I normally read but I found myself sucked in and finished it in just a few days.  This one is being filmed as a movie and I’m torn about whether I’m excited or not. It’s certainly going to be better as a book but it could be really cool if they do it right.  Either way, it’s worth the read if not the watch.  Great characters, great plot, great pace, and two really great reveals.

 

Glamorous Illusions

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Parts of Glamorous Illusions were downright charming but overall I found it a little slow, perhaps because it’s just Book One in a series.  I think this was a free kindle book and it kept me busy during my flights last weekend.

 

I picked up a used copy of Harry Potter over the weekend.  I could write a whole post about this but here’s the short version: I’ve never read any of it and I want to preview it before I see if it’s something I want to let Emma read.  Parents, any wise input on it?

In Which She Forgot How to Have Fun

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Yesterday Annie posted about having fun.  She says not only does she like having fun, she “spend(s) a portion of every day trying to think of ways to add fun to whatever activity” she’s doing.

She then goes on describe people around her that are no fun…the ones looking for ways to have “quiet” or “peace” or the ones taking Zumba class way too seriously. <—all me 

She asked at the end of the post for how others have fun.

Honest to goodness, I could not think of any way to have fun.  If someone had come in the door right then and said go do whatever you want no matter how much it costs and have fun, I would have come up blank.

I find things enjoyable like reading but fun? I don’t finish my book at night and say, “Wow, that was so much fun!”

I thought about it all night.

I even talked to my girls about it.  Lexi seemed very concerned.  “Don’t you like having coffee?” Yes, I do like having coffee with my friends.  I mentally made a note.

I realized I really have fun going to the local theme park but we don’t often go because Scott hates heat and crowds and Lexi hates going anywhere mostly.  Concerned Lexi quickly said, “Well, I would go if you wanted to go!”

I had a ton of fun the past weekend. I realized I love flying.  I love eating out.

I was starting to remember fun.

I’m a conference junkie and legitimately find them fun when I’m not totally overwhelmed by them.

I really miss going to country concerts—those were fun.  Scott and I used to go to the local country bar 2-3 nights a week and would line dance and attend the concerts on Friday nights.  We quit when we got married but those were good times when we called heating systems draper ut and we bonded fixing the fire place.

I love live-tweeting a TV show when everyone else is tweeting too but with DVR hardly anyone watches live TV anymore.

I love having silly girl time with my girls. When they’re on a roll, they crack me up.

Movies are great, especially in the theater.

And loud music.  I really like loud music.  When I was a teenager, I had huge speakers in my car and pumped out songs like Gangsta’s Paradise.

So, I don’t know. I think I’ve lost my mojo a little.  How lame is it that I had to think so hard about having fun?

Goodbye, Summer 2013

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I don’t know if you might have noticed or not, but let me make it clear: this has been a hard summer.  Summer is always hard for me because I’m never available as much as I want to be with the girls so there’s always this undercurrent of disappointment.  Add in the unexpected water leak and a leadership position in our company’s internship program this year along with all the other stuff I’m usually juggling and my capacity was simply pegged.

The past few days though I’ve been able to gain some relief.

I’ve simply let go of getting everything back together from the water leak.  The rooms are together and livable.  I still have a bookcase to stain, decorations to make, and wall art to buy but I realized I was the only one feeling pressured to get it all done and NOW.  I’ll work on it when I can and other than that, I’ve just had to let go of my own expectations (story of my life).

Last Thursday, we had our closing ceremonies to our internship program during a trip to Sioux Falls SD.  I haven’t talked much about it but I’ll say that it stretched me more than anything I’ve done to date at work. 

Even though it was challenging, seeing the difference of my intern between the start and finish was pretty astounding and it really did make the time worth it.  I was like a proud momma watching him give his final presentation.  Add in some great dinners and conversation (and a pedicure) with my coworkers, and our trip last week truly felt like a celebration and closure of the summer.

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I followed up that trip with a 24 hour stop in Wisconsin see my friend (and Scott’s cousin) Carla.  I mentioned it in Thursday’s anniversary post but she divorced this past year and we had spent countless hours together walking through that valley. 

I hadn’t seen her in nearly two years so being with her was felt like a final closure to that time.  In fact, she hasn’t seen any family or friends from home for almost two years so I know for her too it was relieving, to say the least.

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I felt God’s grace all over our weekend.  From a special bakery to a beautiful night of fireworks to a prayer sung by a 6 year old over homemade spaghetti to a little cheese house to a school house turned cafe to an empty table at a restaurant in the airport, God didn’t just pass by, he orchestrated every moment.  Even the one where I had to hug the one that had hurt her and hurt us and silently say I forgive you.  God’s grace multiplied.

We have just a week and a half before school starts so the start of this final full week of summer truly feels like a goodbye to Summer of 2013.  Emma gets her braces at the end of this week so even that feels like a new start.

Sure, I will miss having the kids home and the warm weather and trips to the beach and ice cream runs and late-night movies but I’m ready to dust myself off, give our routines at home, school and work a new beginning. 

How about you? How would you describe this summer for your family?

Thoughts On Our 15th Wedding Anniversary

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On our honeymoon. Yes, I was 12 (JK)

You know when you were younger and everyone got a boyfriend?  And then you got to a stage where it seemed like all your friends were getting engaged and married?  And then your friends all started to have babies?  All the stages were joyous and celebratory even if you did go broke on shower gifts and bridesmaid dresses. Well, we’re at this stage we’re everyone is starting to get divorced.  And it suuuckks.  Sorry, there’s just no other way to describe watching two people who loved each other become sworn enemies and fight over who keeps a couch.  It’s just awful.  After spending the last year walking a friend through it, I have SOME THOUGHTS about it but I’m still trying to work it out before sharing anything.

Yesterday I sat at dinner with a coworker.  She’s getting married in two months and she asked me for marriage advice.  Today is mine and Scott’s 15th wedding anniversary so I thought it appropriate I might share what I told her.

First thing, no one really knows how to DO marriage.  I mean, really we’re all just a bunch of screwed up people trying to live within the same walls without wanting to divorce at best and kill each other at worst.  A person can drive you up one of those walls in a hurry.

So I share these not as an expert but as a person who has to climb down the wall on the regular (and has a husband who has to do the same).

You can’t last too long in marriage without forgiveness.  If there was just one thing I wanted to communicate to my friend it is that.  Because as I said, we get driven up a wall a lot of times and forgiveness is what gets us down most of the time.

We have bad days and bad ideas and say bad things and you really just have to learn to forgive the other person for that and move on.  Not hold it in your back pocket for a rainy day but to really just say that really just sucked what you did but I’m not going to hold it against you.

Give each other grace to have those bad times and growing room and remember you need it too.

Learn your roles in the household will cut down on 92% of the arguing.  In fact, the arguing will show you where you need to make some changes in your roles.  If you get upset every single time he cuts the grass because he doesn’t do it right, maybe it’s time for you to get yourself outside and cut the grass the right way.  Don’t let tradition tell you what your roles should be.  You guys work out what works best for your marriage.  It won’t look the same as your parents or your neighbors next door.

Learn your love languages and use them well.

Figure out what The Crazy Cycle is always be the one who gets off first.

Realize that marriages go in seasons.  When you’re newly married it’s pretty great–awesome, actually–and then you get into this season where you question what in the world you did.  And then you decide to do the hard work to make yourselves better and then marriage gets awesome again.  I’m sure we’ll do that 5 more times before our ride is through and it would have helped to know that up front.

Don’t let divorce be a concept you ever discuss.  You make it 15 years or 25 or even 55 by sticking it through the hard times and deciding you’re going to be the one to help them through the hard times and they’ll be there for you when you lose your mind a little.

All that to say today on my 15th wedding anniversary, I’m celebrating the hard work we’ve done to get here.  It’s no small feat.

But let me say, the hard times make the good times even sweeter.

I’m out of town for work as I write this.  Scott called my hotel first thing this morning to tell me Happy Annivesary and I didn’t even know he knew what hotel I was in.  He didn’t realize I was an hour behind either so I had to call him back when I woke up a bit more. 

When I called back he said he was doing dishes and had just fed the dog.  The kids were still sleeping because they’d had a late night with a sleepover with their cousin.  He had cut the grass and cooked dinner last night.  Basically, he is awesome and I fell in love with him again.

I love to watch him work hard for our family, to protect us, to have fun with us.  I love it when he buys me M&Ms at the gas station because he knows I love them. I love when he schedules massages for me when he sees I’m super stressed.  I love when he wants me to just sit with him in his recliner because he still likes me that much.

Yeah, marriage is hard work and not at all like the storybooks–in the storybooks you fall in love once but in real life, you get to do it over and over.

One Year Without Phone or Cable

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Lexi watching Saved by the Bell through Netflix on my phone

 

One year ago we decided within days to get rid of both cable and our traditional home phone.  A few people have asked me how it’s going so I thought it’d be good to share a review one year later.

So, here’s all the ins and outs of life without traditional phone or cable. 

 

No Home Phone

Because of the hours I spend on conference calls, I used the phone so much for this purpose that I have an Analytic Call Tracking, we’ve been using a Google voice line in combination with an OBi box as well as our cell phones, of course.

I have had connection issues on my meetings a handful of times but compared to the number of hours I’ve used it–probably 1,000 hours–it’s been inconsequential.  In those moments, I’ve switched over to my cell. 

The savings of about $500 this year make it worth it.  The fact that we’ve had no telemarketers calling confirms we have no plans to go back.

 

No Traditional Cable

There’s multiple aspects to how we’ve felt about surviving without cable so I thought I’d review from a few different perspectives. 

 

From the Family

The Kids

The kids had a hard time in the beginning when they couldn’t just switch on the TV and stream their favorite shows one after another.

Since then, Netflix has become the staple.  Please don’t make the mistake thinking the kids don’t watch TV without cable.  They log plenty of hours (maybe more) watching marathons of a particular series.  Sometimes they’ll cycle through all the Good Luck, Charlie episodes while other days they’re cycling through Saved by the Bell.

They’d tell you they want DirecTV back but it’s certainly enough to keep them satisfied.

The Husband

Scott was a news and documentary TV watcher.  He misses Fox News and can’t get enough of it when we stay at a hotel. 

We bought an XM radio base for him to listen to Fox News channel but over the year, even time on that has decreased.

Netflix has enough Discovery Channel type shows like Shark Week to handle his sciencey preferences.

Scott agrees it’d be nice to have back but it’s not worth the money.

Me

In the past, you could have easily called me a TV addict but I do not miss cable in the least.  In fact, my TV time has decreased over the last year to almost no screen time unless I’m watching something with the kids. 

Last fall, I kept up with the last few shows I was watching (Revenge, Once Upon a Time, Parenthood, Arrow) through Hulu but all of them fizzled for me mid-season. 

I watched a few of the season finales in the spring just to see how they ended.  This summer I couldn’t even tell you what was on TV—except The Bachelorette which I do kind of miss on finale nights like last night! 

Every once in awhile I’ll watch a few Mad Men episodes, finally watching Gilmore Girls is on my to-do list and I’ll watch Sherlock Holmes and Downton Abbey when they come back out.  Maybe I’ll stay up to date with Parenthood or Arrow this fall but all in all, TV is just way down the priority list these days.

Anything I do want to watch will be later through Hulu or Netflix.

My inner fan girl is shedding a few tears but honestly, I feel more free than ever before.  I have plenty of time to read and I’m not constantly hounded by a list of shows I’m behind on.  I don’t feel like I’m wasting time while I watch and it’s just right for me in this season. 

 

The Devices

Roku

We have a PS3 in the living room and use our subscriptions on that device but we bought the Roku device for our bedroom.  The Roku itself works perfectly but we bought the wifi version and our connection in our bedroom is horrible so we often get frustrated and give up.  I would have skipped the Roku or at the very least, gotten the hard-wired one.

Digital Antennae

We rarely–RARELY–watch live TV.  It’s been great to pick up live national events like the Christmas parade or Super Bowl but other than that, we don’t use it. 

I’d guess for those that watch Sports, this would be a must if you got rid of DirecTV but for us, it’s a good thing this was only a one-time cost or it certainly wouldn’t have been worth it. 

XM Radio Base

As I mentioned above, we bought an XM radio base for Scott to listen to FOX News.  His time on that steadily decreased but it has been nice to have the music on in the background.  While I doubt I’d buy it again, it is a nice-to-have.

 

The Subscriptions

Netflix

We had Netflix before leaving cable and it’s an absolute must without cable.

Hulu Plus

We bought this subscription thinking we’d keep up with our shows on Hulu on our Roku but that hasn’t been the case.  Even when I was watching my shows, I found I watched them on my computer and given our issues with Roku, I’d cancel Hulu Plus if it were not for the kids who love of Minute to Win It and Wipe Out.

Amazon Prime

I already had Amazon Prime for the shipping but a few times we have picked up some movies and streamed them through our PS3.  I certainly wouldn’t buy Amazon Prime just for the streaming but it’s been nice as a package deal.

 

All that to say we could do just fine with a regular Hulu account, a Netflix subscription and our PS3 and computer.  We’ve saved at minimum $600 this year with no plans to change a thing.

 

Lots of questions for you—if you have cable, are you thinking of making the switch, what would you miss the most, what shows am I missing?! If you’ve cut the cords, what other tips and tricks have you learned?

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The Fault in Our Stars Review

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I finished The Fault in Our Stars yesterday and declared it one of my favorite novels ever. Although I haven’t reviewed a book on its own in awhile and I even had plans for another post today, I need some space to gush.

If you haven’t read the book, please do two things for me.  Go buy the book.  And until you do, don’t read anymore of this post.

If you’ve read the book, please prepare your typing fingers because I need you to gush with me in the comments.

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Here are some Gushy Thoughts about the book:

  • What I loved most about this book is it’s fearless.  John Green wasn’t scared to make an entire book about kids with cancer.  Who does that? Who wants to live in a world of Kids with Cancer long enough to write, edit and deliver a novel about it?  I can’t imagine the writing process was an entirely happy one but I’m so glad he wasn’t afraid to live there for awhile.  He was brave to make Isaac blind and Van Houten miserable and Augustus dead.
  • I love that John Green writes for writers.  He makes his characters have conversations about the improper use of “literally”, centers an entire plot line about a character’s need to know the ending to a story and often use poetry.  Even though I don’t get poetry, I appreciate that he does, that the characters do and there’s still something romantic about it.

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once.”

  • There’s a truthiness and grit to Hazel without her being annoying and overly sarcastic.  She gushes over the boy often but only because she’s been pushed to the point by Augustus where it really demands it.  I was grinning like a fool at Augustus too so I’d be upset if she was too cynical about love.
  • So maybe Augustus was too much.  I mean, he was a basketball playing, cancer suriving, good-looking, poetry quoting, wish granting, self-sacrificing boy but I mean.  He died.  He’s allowed to be awesome.

  “Oh, I wouldn’t mind, Hazel Grace.  It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.” 

  • I want to relive their Amsterdam trip.  Even though they were disappointed and really didn’t get what they were going for,the conflict made it all the more interested to read and the night they had together was well, epic.

“Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth it is a city of freedom. And in freedom, most people find sin.”

  • I couldn’t have been happier with the ending. Her mother was moving on and Hazel didn’t feel so much like a grenade anymore.  Hazel got a kind of goodbye from Augustus and an ending to her story all in one swoop. Even though we don’t ever know what happened to Anna’s mom, I rather prefer it that way.  It’s clear Hazel isn’t going to survive, but I’m glad that Green neither saved her nor put us through her death.

I know I’ll post this and think of 27 more things to gush about.  Ever since I finished it yesterday, I keep thinking about it.

So here’s your chance folks, gush about this book with me.  I mean, please tell me you loved it too.  There wasn’t anyone that hated is there?  I can’t imagine but tell me if you did.

Is there a movie in the works for this book?  I haven’t looked it up and haven’t decided whether I want one although I already have been trying to decide who could do Augustus justice.  Michael Rady (Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants) is at the top of my list right now.

Now, GO GUSH! Okay? Okay.