I’m writing this in the morning hours of Valentine’s Day. It’s already unlike any that I’ve had. We’ve been snowed in for three days and so my procrastinating self doesn’t have any presents and candy wrapped for the girls. Don’t tell Scott but I saw that he bought me flowers on our credit card and I doubt they’ll get delivered due to the snow. We haven’t made any reservations to go out because I’m not quite sure we can make it out. But, let me say, I’ve never felt more loved and secure than I do today.
Our marriage has been through some hard times. I know what it’s like to do the Valentine’s Day stuff because it’s expected. To have a love for each other as people, but not a love and excitement to celebrate being together. It is only through God’s faithfulness to me to show me his love and my husband’s forgiveness that we aren’t still in shambles.
I’ve spent much of my life like that with God. Knowing in my head that he loves me, but not truly believing it. I did things because they were the right things to do. And sometimes, yes, that’s what obedience calls for. But, there is freedom when you begin to really believe and live like God loves you.
When you live like God loves you, you become generous because God has been generous with you.
You let go of pleasing people because you know of one that delights and sings over you.
You can believe you’re beautiful because you are workmanship of God.
You become content with what you have because you see it all as a gift.
You don’t have to worry because you know He works all things together for your good.
You don’t have to be jealous because you know he gives you what you need when you need.
You can forgive because he first forgave you.
You can let go of your past because he’ll use it for your future.
I know those statements to be true because those are the exact things God has brought me through over the last 20 years. This year, he’s been showing me it’s love that’s made the difference. He’s been chipping away at my heart with his love, pursuing me in faithfulness.
And that’s the freedom I hope others have. You don’t have to be a people-pleasing, worried, jealous, angry, bitter, self-loathing person. Because that’s who I’d be without Christ.
I’ve asked God this year to simply “show me how you love me.” Because we know it in our head, but we need to believe it in our hearts. I believe the more we see him loving us, the more we can live in His freedom.
He’s shown me in sunrises, in song lyrics, in our finances, in my writing, in prayers, in people. It’s truly life-changing when you start believing—for real—that God loves you.
So, if you’re reading this, take this as a first sign that God is trying to tell you he loves you. Take that and then pray, “show me how you love me.” What a perfect day for Him to start.
Happy Valentine’s Day, friends. I love you, too.