I was listening to a podcast fro m Loran Livingston of Central Church of God where I went to church as a teenager this week. Hearing his preaching still feels like a coming home.
He was talking about how before the world was created that God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit came together and decided to make this world and us in it. They understood the fall and our inability to get back in His presence without redemption. He talked about how Jesus must have agreed that he would make a way, that He would come and suffer and die in our place. And that God said because he did that, he would give us to him. That we, lowly and sinful, were his reward.
And that overwhelms me.
How little I give him in return for his great sacrifice. Me, who is easily swayed and distracted, is supposed to be a living “thank you” for what he did. God, how can I be more grateful?
But part of that made me angry. How could they choose to do that knowing that not everyone would believe and be saved? How could they sacrifice others? Why would they even create them?
And God asked me, Amy, if you knew that Lexi would not love you back, that there would be pain in her life, and it would be cut short, would you choose not to have either Emma and Lexi in your life at all? Oh, dear God, no. Whatever time I have with them, no matter how it goes, is precious. I love to love them. And how much greater is his love for his children? I can’t imagine how much it hurts him when one of his children chooses not to love him back. But oh, his love for all of us anyway. That all of this—the pain, the time, the sacrifice—it’s all worth it to Him even when we give him so little back.
I don’t understand it all and I know my thoughts are not like His thoughts—maybe that’s not His why or how–but something about hearing that this week made me love him more for my salvation and want to be grateful more. His love is mighty, indeed.
This post is linked to Five Minute Friday with Lisa Jo Baker.