Archives for April 2014

He whispers it to me on Tuesday morning, “You don’t have a parent-sized hole in your soul. Or a husband-sized hole. Or a man-sized hole. Or a child-sized hole.  You have a God-sized hole.”

If you are feeling empty and tired and unfulfilled and lost and joyless, may I suggest you stop trying to hastily fill your soul with anything and everyone and finally slow down enough to feed your soul what it is meant to be filled with—God and God alone.

“There is a God-shaped vacuum in the heart of every person,
and it can never be filled by any created thing.
It can only be filled by God,
made known through Jesus Christ.”
– Blaise Pascal, Pensees

I sit in Monday morning traffic, tired and wanting Spring Break back.  I’m having God thoughts and pose the question that I have so many times before—God, are you ever disappointed in me?  I know I mess up and so many do.  How does it make you feel? 

I don’t get any clear answers.

I pull up the IF:Equip daily devotional. Sarah and Rebekah talk about Joseph and Nicodemus.  I hear the Spirit whisper—you remind me of Nicodemus.  Nicodemus, who helped wrapped Jesus’s body after he died.  I remember he was a religious leader but the rest escapes me.  Usually being a religious leader with Jesus isn’t good news, but Nicodemus does clearly love Jesus by the end. Yes, Jesus, I do love you, I whisper back and hope for the best.

I get to work and scrawl out my to-do list and right in between, I jot down the name Nicodemus.  I don’t want to forget to read what he was trying to tell me.

At a break, I do a search on Nicodemus and am taken to John 3.

The story starts coming back.  Nicodemus goes to Jesus at night, wanting to question him away from prying eyes.  He knows Jesus is from God but doesn’t understand it all.  Jesus tells him he must be born again.  Nicodemus is confused about what he needs to do.

And there it is, we all keep talking about what we do.

Jesus answers our question about what we need to do with what he’s going to do.

Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.

His sacrifice is always our answer.

And then out of nowhere because I didn’t remember it’s John 3:16…For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten Son…

And here we are again, Jesus whispering to me, I love you so much I died for you.

He ignores my question altogether and reminds me it’s not about what I do or how he feels about it.  It’s about how he loves me and what he did for me.

And we always stop at verse 16 but 17 comes along and tells us he didn’t come to condemn the world, but to save it.

God’s about the business of loving and saving not condemning.  If we’re feeling defeated and disappointed, we’re not about Kingdom work.

And there, in the middle of a gray cubicle, I rest in his love and I rest in his work.