Book Review

The Five Love Languages of Children – Review

July 22, 2010 by Amy 5 Comments

I’ve been very familiar with the Five Love Languages for adults for years now. I can’t tell you how much it has helped in pinpointing issues between me and Scott. I was feeling a little behind in reading the children’s version but it turns out you probably can’t fully identify your child’s love language until 5 years old.

If you’re not familiar, the five love languages are words of affirmation, touch, quality time, acts of service and gifts. We all need love in all forms but we especially feel loved through one of these. We also tend to love other people in our own language. I’m primarily acts of service with words of affirmation as a secondary. Scott is touch, touch and more touch. As you can imagine, many times our languages don’t mix!

I was pretty sure Emma was quality time and words of affirmation secondary and Lexi was touch and words of affirmation. After reading the book, I’m more convinced that is the case. At least for now, because they can change.

I may spend a lot of time with Lexi and do a lot for her, even tell her I love her, but if I were to never hug her, she’d be devastated. Same for Emma. I can tell her, do things for her, buy stuff for her but until I sit beside her and give her undivided attention, she’s like an empty sponge. Her love bank is empty. I remember her writing in her journal in Kindergarten that the favorite thing I did as a mother for her was play Barbie’s with her. I think that’s part of the reason I’ve been so grateful to have stayed home with her. She’s usually ok as long as I’m nearby. It’s no fault of hers or mine, that’s just the way she’s wired. Lexi can be very upset at something, and a quick hug and kiss will sooth many anxieties. She loves you to scratch or rub her back and arms. She likes to hold your hand. She lives on hugs and kisses.

What I love about this book is it not only explains the languages and gives you ideas on how to spot it (two things I was pretty sure I knew how to do), it also gives you guidance on how this affects discipline, learning and even anger issues. Ever see just a mad kid? Oh yes, I have. The book suggests a parent could change the way they are expressing their love to them and a lot of that would change. Not all, but most anger issues are rooted in a lack of love. Well, let me rephrase, it’s not a lack of love but a lack of expressive it in the right way. Kids are wired so that their love banks also have to be filled in order to learn properly. The book gives you lots of suggestions and scenarios to help you understand how to wade through these tough issues.

I would go so far as to suggest this as a pre-requisite to parenting. As I knew about the love languages for lots of years, I was paying attention to how I expressed my love to the girls but I think this book gave me an extra insight to how to relate it to children and the damage it can do if we don’t.

Can’t recommend it enough! Check it out on Amazon!

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Review: Plan B

May 3, 2010 by Amy 10 Comments

Plan B. It’s the route your life takes when you were trying to steer it elsewhere. Maybe an unexpected sickness. Divorce. Infertility. Singlehood. Failed Business. Job loss. Death. The moments in which you begin to question who God is and why he moved the Do Not Enter sign where you had firmly placed it.

But Pete Wilson’s book Plan B doesn’t dwell in the despair of Plan B’s. He helps you see that maybe Plan B was the right route after all. In a word, this book is hope. Using stories from the Bible and modern-day experiences, Pete walks the reader through all kind of feelings and perspectives of those living out Plan B.

Can I be honest and say when I picked this book up I wasn’t sure I’d get anything out of it? Not that I doubted Pete’s abilities in the least. I’ve learned a lot from Pete in the past and I knew he’d have a word. I just wasn’t sure if it was one for me. I haven’t had a catastrophic or even alternate event in my life to make me doubt God. But let’s be clear. Plan B is coming. As Matthew Turner says in his review, “if you’re working on plan A, Plan B is a good prerequisite.” But I’d take it further than that. I may not be in Plan B right now, but there are scores of people around me that are. And I can’t tell you the hope the book has given me that I can offer others in need that are in Plan B. God has not forgotten us. There is hope in our Plan B’s.

While reading, I marked several passages and thought I’d share some of my favorite talking points.

For those in Plan B, you may feel like life is spiraling out of control. However, in the chapter Don’t Run Pete explains, “Your dreams may not be happening, and things aren’t turning out the way you expected, but that doesn’t mean your life is spinning out of control. It just means you’re not in control.”
In the chapter Your Jordan, Pete says that in most Plan B situations, it is a lot like standing at side of the Jordan river with the enemy chasing you. It seems impossible to get through alive. The fear can be overwhelming. He asks the reader to identify that Jordan in your life and says that your Jordan always involves fear. The good news is God has gone before us and we shouldn’t be afraid.
From Whiplash, “it’s often a process, not a final destination.” He gives the example of someone not getting the job they interviewed for and the person assuming they’d missed God’s will by not getting it. He says God may simply wanted the person to learn something from the interview. It’s good to remember life is a process and God is in it all.
In the chapter Whiplash, Pete reminds us to trust in the person of God and not in our circumstances.

And my favorite passage of all:

“You’ve got to stop looking at your shattered dreams and your unmet expectations as something God is doing to you. He’s not doing something to you. But he might be doing something through you. He might be doing something in you.”

God wouldn’t let us go through these Plan B’s for no purpose. I always love Beth Moore’s saying, “He’s either doing it for His glory or your benefit.” He’s not torturing us. He doesn’t love us less. But He is allowing it so that we might be transformed.

I can’t recommend this book enough for everyone. If you aren’t in Plan B, I know there is someone you can hand this to you and say, “Here’s some hope.” I’d love to hand this copy to someone here with the gift of hope. Leave a comment on this post and I’ll draw a random winner on Wednesday at 9pm.

Book Review: Plain Pursuit

March 19, 2010 by Amy 7 Comments

Plain Pursuit is an Amish Christian Fiction novel by Beth Wiseman. It’s the second of the Daughters of the Promise series. In the novel, journalist Carley sustains the loss of her mother and extensive injuring of her own and is asked to take a leave of absense from work. She goes to stay with her Amish friend Lillian and takes with her an assignment to write a story on the Amish way of life. While there she meets Lillian’s shunned brother in law and develops a relationship with him will helping pull together a family. In return, she finds a family of her own.

It’s been several books since I’ve picked up fiction, devoting myself to several Christian non-fiction books. I had really hoped to lose myself in this book and enjoy a quick, romantic read. Had it not been for my commitment to finish and review the book, I have to say I may not have finished it. I had a hard time connecting with Carley. The storylines were predictable and sometimes forced. The dialogue at times was out of character. I felt like the story was more about Noah and his brother Samuel more than Carley and Noah. I think Carley’s hang ups about her infertility were unfounded with Noah and her fear from Darlton was not developed enough for the reader to understand the fear. It was difficult to enjoy a book that was almost solely based in a hospital room and when a lot of the conversation dealt with shunning. I felt like Carley and Noah’s story was rushed towards the end of the book and I would have liked to see some more conversations between them throughout. I think mostly the book was lacking in character development. It seemed the author was more concerned with moving the story forward and describing the medical process and procedures than introducing the reader to the characters and seeing substantial development take place. With the beautiful countryside I’m sure they were in, I felt like scene was lacking as well. I had a difficult time trying to picture the locations and getting a sense of what the characters were seeing.

I did enjoy learning about the Amish as this was my first Amish fiction book. I felt like the author did a good job of weaving pieces of the storylines together, especially when ancillary characters were able to move the storyline forward. The writing was the best when Carley stood up for her beliefs or when there was tension between other characters. I felt like the underlying storyline of the clinic gave the reader something to drive towards and enjoyed all of the community’s “emergencies”.

Overall, I’d give this book a 6 out of 10.

This book was provided on behalf of Thomas Nelson publishing in exchange for the review. If you would like to participate in the book review program, please visit BookSneeze.com