children

Twenty-four years ago I sat at the head of an oak dining room table with ten candles atop my cake.  In the chairs sat my sister and a few friends.  My mom and dad crowded around, taking pictures and singing.  I looked at my cake, closed my eyes and whispered in my mind to no one in particular, “Good-bye, single digits.” 

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“I did it. I really did it.” Those were my first weepy words to my mom 10 years ago as my first tiny baby was passed around the birth room.  I had been scared to death of giving birth but somehow by God’s grace, my body cooperated like so many others before me and had birthed a tiny little Emma Grace. 

I spent the next few days trying to figure out nursing, fielding visitors with this new grandbaby girl, and managing pain.  When the last day arrived, we dressed in her little outfit and Scott put us in the back seat of our black Chrysler.  I realized amidst all the activity in the past few days, months really, that I had this tiny little person in a really big world I was responsible for.  I think I cried the whole way home and then sat on the couch in the living room and did the same.

I was scared to death.

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A few months later, a friend who had known me since college was chatting with me and he said, “You’ve changed since you had Emma.”

“Changed?” I asked, “How do you mean?”

“I don’t know,” he fumbled, “You just have.”

I wasn’t sure what he meant exactly, I mean, I’m sure my conversations were different, but I still felt like me.

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“I don’t want to depress you,” the doctor said at the end of our check-up last week, “but I think I should point out that you’re more than half way done with your time with Emma at home.  Make sure to enjoy your time.”

It was too late to depress me.  I’ve been counting down until 10 for 10 years.  What is it about 10? Maybe because I had remembered so distinctly turning 10 myself.  It felt like a turning point of sorts.  The numbers look a lot like teen ages–a lot like the years when you start kissing and driving and working and more to the point, leaving. 

I birthed a tiny Emma Grace but she won’t stop this growing business.

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I read this post from Lisa-Jo yesterday and a line broke me.

There is no book knowledge that can prepare you for the act of creation or how brave you will become.

Brave.  Yes.  That is the change Emma has made in me. 

I was just a scared little girl in a Chrysler not sure how to take care of a fearless little girl.

I realize now I had birthed Emma, but she birthed a mother in me.  I was an infant mother, starting on a path to bravery.

She’s changed me these past 10 years.  She’s made me brave.  

I’ll endure pain when necessary, have tough conversation that scare me, check dark closets when I’m not sure what awaits, fight when there’s a need.  I’d walk in front of a train for her.

Yes, she’s built courage in me.

And a lot of other things.

She’s made me more brave and selfless and disciplined and loving and patient.

All 10 years she’s been making me a better person.  

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Emma’s name Emma Grace means “full of grace”.  She’s that to everyone but she especially has been a gift of grace from God to me.  God knew to make me more like him, I needed a tiny girl full of grace to teach me, change me.

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I’ve been putting my What I Wore Wednesday post together for tomorrow and realized every day I’ve been wearing grey or black.  Looking back, I think subconsciously it’s been a sort of mourning week for me. 

It’s been a week of saying goodbye to her first ten years with us for certain, but also a mourning of me.  A glorious, wonderful mourning of the old me my love of Emma helped me conquer.

My friend was right.  I am different.  My tiny little Emma Grace has changed me and this week of celebration of both her birth and Thanksgiving, I cannot think of anything I am more thankful for than 10 years of hard, terribly draining, wonderfully changing years with my Emma Grace.  

It turns out that love does conquer all. 

Tomorrow I’ll watch as she blows out her own 10 candles and in my mind, I’ll whisper to no one in particular, “Goodbye single digits.”

 

 

Baby girl, I love you and your giggling at boys, and sarcasm at your daddy, and your frustration and love of your sister, and your reading past bed time and your loving of little babies and crazy dancing and mismatched clothing and your teaching at your white board and your curly hair and your hazel eyes and freckled nose.  I love every single inch of you.  Thank you for changing me.  You fill me full of grace and I thank God every day for making me your mommy.

My baby girl Lexi turned 8 on Saturday.  I know every parent says it every single birthday, but I really can’t believe she’s been with us 8 years. 

She’s been such a joy for us.  You never know what Lexi is going to say and you can be sure it’s the gut-honest truth.  She’s a black and white kind of gal.  She doesn’t love or live half-way.

We celebrated with a candy-themed sleepover Saturday night she’s been planning for months.

I had a little idea to do a life-sized Candy Land game in the back yard and it was so much fun to make and play.

We just had to buy a can of black spray paint for the path outline and then six cans of spray paint for the colored path—purple, yellow, green, blue, orange and red. 

We used a garden hose to layout a random path and spray painted the path black.  Once that was there, we lined up the other cans and just guesstimated the size of the blocks.  We all took turns spraying the path.

Even the girls were able to help paint.

Although, as you can see Lexi below, she had to work to get leverage on some of the colors (so cute!) . A few of the colors weren’t available in the cheaper Walmart brand, so we had to get the ones that were a little more expensive.  They were worth it though as they had a mechanism the girls could handle better and brighter paint.

We were going to go back and do another black line but we didn’t want to waste the black paint and it really wasn’t needed.

  

 

We made start and finish signs with just piece of spray painted cardboard and a printed sign.

 

 

We used the cards from the regular game to advance the play.

When I drew a Candy Land place in the cards, we would hand out a piece of candy for their goodie bags instead of them having to go somewhere else.

When a person would finish, they would get 5 more pieces of candy to add to their bag.

 

 

Definitely an easy, cheap and unique game for a party.  I’m guessing you could do this with quite a bit of board games!

Lexi had a great time opening presents if these pictures give you any indication:

 

We had an amazing cake by Sweet Scene Cakes.  When I told Sarah about the candy theme she pulled some inspiration from Pinterest and created this beauty.

She switched out the original M&Ms for Skittles and added the Peppermint Patties at Lexi’s request.

 

Cutting it was quite interesting.  We had Skittles everywhere.  I wasn’t hearing too many complaints though.

The kids loved having candy at their disposal although it was interesting they were more concerned with putting it in their goodie bag than actually eating it.

Lexi really enjoyed everyone singing Happy Birthday.

And with a blow of the candles, another birthday is under wraps.

 

If you ever want to make a life-sized Candy Land game, I’ve uploaded a pdf of the Start/Finish signs for you.  Enjoy!

Last week I read this post at Momastery.  She included two letters from sister moms of infants and she wanted her readers to leave some comments with hope on how to survive the younger years.  For whatever reason, I didn’t comment.  Maybe because I knew nearly 500 other people would.

Saturday night we babysat my nephew’s daughter.  She’s two and a half.  She’s as sweet as she can be.  She’s funny.  She’s also independent, as many 2 year olds are.  I was transported back 5 years to when my now 7 and 9 year olds were that age. 

And I was glad they’re 7 and 9.

Yesterday I was at church with a couple that had a 2 year old and an infant.  The dad was keeping track of the 2 year old and the mom was feeding the wee one standing right in the middle of the hallway.

While we were standing there, a frustrated momma came by with a squirming toddler on each hip.  I wanted to take one off her hands, help them to nursery and then give her a nice back massage.

I’m convinced those of you reading with young ones need to hear some encouragement.  You can do this.  It won’t always be hard like right now.  Sure, it will be hard but in different ways.

A day is coming where you don’t have to worry about anyone’s poop schedule but your own.

 

You won’t even have to look at poop all day if you don’t want to.

In fact, there will be weeks that go by where you don’t even care if anyone else is pooping.

A day is coming when you get to eat a meal where you don’t have to scoop even one bite of food into someone else’s mouth.

You’ll get to eat every single bite of your own food.

And better yet, none of the food will come from your own body!

In fact, since you’ve learned how to eat a dinner in 90 seconds, you’ll actually finish before anyone else instead of being the lone survivor at the dinner table.

And yes, there’s a day when all of you will sit in normal chairs around an actual dinner table.  And you’ll ask questions about their day and they’ll tell you and you’ll all laugh and actually enjoy this part of your day.

A day is coming when you don’t have to be in the same room to bathe your children.

You actually get to say grab a towel and go get in the shower.

And they do it.  And they know how to shampoo and conditioner their hair. AND brush it when they get out.

It’s coming, momma.

A day is coming when you don’t have to go through gymnastics to get your child to sleep.

You’ll be able to say bedtime and they know what that means.  They’ll know how to brush their teeth and get their own pajamas on and read to themselves.

In fact, you’ll have to remind yourself to spend time with them at night just so you don’t miss the best part of the day.  Yes!  Bedtime will one day be wonderful.

A day is coming when they sleep through the night.

And sometimes, they’ll throw up during the night and they’ll just tell you about it in the morning.  “Mom, I even made it to the toilet.”

Doesn’t that sound glorious?

A day is coming when you won’t even know what room they’re in when they’re playing.

You’ll have to walk around and find them and ask what they’ve been doing.  And the best part is it won’t be fingerpainting the walls, unbuckling their diaper and smearing it on carpet or rubbing diaper cream all over their face.

A day is coming when you don’t have to pack 80 things to leave the house.

In fact, the kids will want to grab a few of their favorite things and you can just say, “Come out to the car when you’re ready and shut the door on your way out.”

And when they come out, you don’t have to buckle a single person except yourself.

And while you’re driving, you don’t have to entertain a single soul to keep them from crying.

A day is coming when they won’t say no every time you tell them to do something.

In fact, sometimes they’ll even ask you what they should do.

All of this and more is coming.  It gets easier.  Parenting gets funner.  Yes, funner.  But it gets that way because you did the hard work.

They’ll know how to shower because you taught them.

They’ll know how to play because you taught them.

They’ll know how to eat because you taught them.

Hang on, mommas.  I know these are hard years, but they’re good years.  You can do it.

Today’s my mom’s birthday so I can’t let this post go without saying happy birthday and thank you, Mom, for your hard work of raising wee ones.