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friends and/or family

A Return And Some Good News

March 3, 2014 by Amy 16 Comments

Well, good morning, folks!  It is a happy Monday morning indeed.  At least, I hope it is. In full disclosure, I’m writing this on Sunday night.  I imagine it will be a happy Monday except that I will be driving first thing to work for an all-day training class and let’s be honest, that’s very Monday morning-ish, yes?  Let’s just hope your Monday is happy.

I am happy to be writing again.  Please excuse my 6-day absence, but I do believe I am back in the land of the living.  I came down with a fever on Tuesday morning. I managed to work through the day, shivering and achy, but by Wednesday morning I was done for.  In fact, I took a real, live sick day, even though I can work remote, and slept until noon. I haven’t done that in years and years. Unfortunately, I didn’t sleep it off, whatever it was. As the day wore on, I was becoming more convinced it was strep throat.

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By the time I woke up Thursday morning, I was sure it was strep throat and shuffled my way over to urgent care where I cried when the nurse wasn’t very nice to me and swabbed my throat THREE times because my tongue kept getting in the way or something.

The antibiotics worked it’s magic, though, and by Saturday I was nearly back to normal with a little Ibuprofen and cough drops—enough to go engagement ring and wedding dress shopping with my mom and sister, WHO IS GETTING MARRIED THIS OCTOBER.

Yep.

After a 40 day fast from Facebook, she announced they are engaged this weekend.

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The happy couple

She’s been dating a guy that Scott and I have known forever from Scott’s home church for a few months now. I wish I would have written it down like I thought, but I guessed they’d be getting married within weeks of them meeting. In fact, I gave them 6 months to be engaged. They’re seriously great together.

 

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The only picture from dress shopping I can share without getting in trouble. Wedding planning with social media in the mix is all new to me and I’m trying to learn the rules.

 

I wish I could write her story all down so you might know what a momentous occasion this will be. In fact, it’d probably make a great novel. My sister has been through a lot.  Death, deception, disappointments, disease, diets, dating, debt.  God has spent the past 3 years restoring so much of her first 3 decades.  Seeing God give her a companion (that adores her) to travel this new road with is just beyond exhilarating.

 

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 Brakefield, the venue of the wedding

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The view at Brakefield from the ceremony location.  It should much more green in October.

 

For my blogging friends, I should tell you I will not be at Allume this year.  The only date the venue had open is the same weekend.  The good news is the money and time we had budgeted for that weekend will just be moved and believe me, I am very happy for it. 

 

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Scott and his future brother-in-law chatting in the Bride’s room at Brakefield. This picture makes me all sorts of happy. They’re so much fun together.

 

So, once again, I look back at my post from the first of the year where I looked expectantly to the new year, unsure of what would come.  February brought more sickness, snow, and sad news but also such happy moments and the best of best news.

I look forward to bidding last week, February and indeed, the entire winter both a hearty thank you and a good riddance.

Filed Under: friends and/or family

In Which She Knew the Driver

February 12, 2014 by Amy 25 Comments

I post this with much fear and trepidation and with as much respect to the families involved as I can possibly muster.  Our hearts are with you.

Monday evening I was driving home from work in the rain.  With the impending snowstorm, I knew the drive would not be a short one.  After an hour of driving, I was nearly home, just an exit off of the interstate and a few miles and I was there.  I decided to go an alternate route and head down the Interstate one more exit to avoid traffic in town and come to my house from the South side.  Traffic grinded to a halt and my short cut apparently was cut short by an accident in the next town which was backing up traffic all the way up the Interstate.

Later, I heard the grumbling on Facebook about a fatal accident involving a drunk driver on one of the main roads.  I didn’t think much of it.  The next morning, though, I yelled at my screen when I saw the article announcing that the drunk driver was someone I knew.

Casie, the article said, had a blood alcohol level over the legal limit and rear-ended a vehicle, killing a young 22 old mother named Kristen Knight.

I cannot wrap my head around the devastation on either side.  Like, I have been sick on my stomach thinking about it since I heard.  As I type, it is 2 in the morning and I cannot sleep because it is heavy on my mind.

Listen, I have very little tolerance for drunk driving. It is something my family talks about often.  Our kids, at a very early age, understood what drunk driving was and understood what devastation it could bring.  Drunk driving is not just a mistake, it is a choice.  We pay our bills with that belief.

And then Monday comes and Casie is the one making that choice.  And while I in no way condone her decision, I can tell you that’s not the Casie I knew.  Casie was one of the sweetest students in my graduating class.  We weren’t extremely close, but I remember her to be a gentle spirit with a smile on her face.  She was active in school and voted best looking in our Senior Superlatives. She had a supportive mother and by all accounts, I knew her to be a believer.

But somewhere, something must have gone terribly wrong.  The facts state she had another DUI charge in 2008, so perhaps it’s been going wrong for a long time.

And I can’t help but think of my emotional affair and so many bad choices I made.  Sin that entangles us does that to us.  Our souls get enslaved and we say yes to our master without counting the consequences.

Oh, the consequences this time.  Two mothers. One whose life was taken too early and another ruined.

To Casie I want to tell you that I have no stones to throw.  I will be the first to set mine down, understanding that I am simply lucky my bad decisions haven’t yet had such devastating consequences.   Redemption is available through Jesus Christ our Lord.  He still has plans for you. He still loves you.  He still forgives you.  The crowd may not, but God says nothing—nothing—can separate his love from you.  You may have gotten busted on Monday but I think you were busted up long before then.  Use this opportunity to draw close to Him and let him heal those parts of you.  He can give a new heart and a new zeal and fill all of those places you’ve been trying to fill.  People are crying for you to rot, but God is crying to let Him redeem.

To the family of Kristen I would say a million apologies.  Our family has lost loved ones due to drunk driving and it will turn a life inside out.  It is absolutely terrible what has happened.  I would beg of you, though, to work towards forgiveness of Casie. She might be the one sitting behind bars where she rightly deserves to be, but if you do not let grace and forgiveness take over, it will be your own souls barred, tortured and enslaved by bitterness.  And it’s no way to live.  No way.  Do it not for her, but for you.  Why do you forgive someone like Casie?  Because God first forgave you.  If his mercy is big enough and good enough to cast all of your sin as far as the east is from the west, then it has to be big enough for Casie’s too.

To others reading, I have on my heart two things we can do.

First, for Kristen’s family, a fund has been set up to take care of their expenses.  Donate what you can and let’s rally around this family and help them in their time of trouble.  Let’s show a world who York County really is because I know it to be full of compassionate, loving, Southern souls who know how to take care of each other.

Second, reach out to Casie and her family.  I’m trying to get more info on how, but she has a long, terrible road ahead of her and is going to need support from wherever she can get it.

And finally, I hate to sound trite but we have to take a look at this and remind ourselves we are all only a decision away from altering so many lives.  If it can happen to Casie and Kristen, it can happen to us.  Let’s keep our roads in York County safe–please do not drink and drive.  If you ever EVER need a ride anywhere, Scott and I will drive you, no questions asked.

I am praying for peace for all of us.  That God would rain down a spirit of grace in our region and give us the ability to forgive and that it would remind us how desperately we all need a Savior every single day.

 

Update

Letters can be mailed to:

Casie Terrell Cunningham
Inmate #: 48763A
York County Detention Center
1675-3A York Hwy
York, SC 29745

Filed Under: friends and/or family

What Are We Really Fighting About?

January 30, 2014 by Amy 4 Comments

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In mid-December on our road trip to see family for Christmas, I decided to feed my audio book The Secrets of Happy Families into our car stereo.  The kids mostly ignored it, busy with other things, but Scott and I listened in while miles and miles of mountains and farm land passed by.

We came upon a section about how to fight.

The author describes a fight he and his wife got in over what to serve at their child’s birthday party.  She wanted to do a full meal and he wanted to serve snacks.  He came to the conclusion that they were not fighting over pretzels and pizzas, but deeper values.

She didn’t want to appear cheap and wanted to provide for the kids and he wanted save money and keep things simple.  He suggests that most of the time what you’re fighting about is not really what you’re fighting about.  Usually, there is a deeper set of values that are being debated.

Not even hours later, as we still drove home, Scott and I started into our first post-audiobook fight.

(Early apologies for the content of this fight but I know many couples might relate.)

He made a comment about wanting to take me to Victoria’s Secret and buy “me” a Christmas gift.

I can’t remember exactly how my reaction went except it wasn’t an audible “No.” It went something like a huge sigh and look out the window to avoid the conversation.

He was immediately on the defensive, feeling like I was being prudish and unwilling to be fun and intimate with him.

Something different happened though.

He stopped his angry response and said, “Tell my why you don’t want to.”

I calmly explained that it had nothing to do with him, really, it’s just that our budget was out of control already because of Christmas and on the heels of posting about Fair Trade Tuesday, I wasn’t comfortable with the thought of buying anything from there, unsure of what we would be supporting.

Immediately, the fight stopped.  “Yeah, that makes sense,” he said.

I’ve never felt more heard and validated in an argument than that moment.  And honestly—more ready than ever to make a trip to Victoria’s Secret.

For once, what we were really fighting about was clear and we didn’t spend the next 6 hours of our road trip staring out the window holding our end of the silent treatment up.

Does this mean we never argue now?  Not at all, but it did open our eyes to the idea that often what we’re arguing about isn’t really what we’re arguing about and challenges us to pause to get to the heart of the matter.

Filed Under: friends and/or family Tagged With: families, fighting, marriage

Meet Our New Van

January 23, 2014 by Amy 7 Comments

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In case you missed it on social media last night, we bought a van!  After much deliberation, we decided to get i4mt insurance and basically replace the van with nearly the exact same van and we made sure to Get a Campervan Insurance Quote.  We truly did love our van and especially loved not having a payment.  And at the end of the day (literally, at the end of Tuesday), it is the only course of action we felt peace about.

We feel blessed because the new one is a year newer, has 40,000 fewer miles, has a DVD player and was kept in immaculate condition.

So, as Lexi best put it last night, “Finally, we can quit looking for a car.”  I completely agree.  Car shopping is not fun.

I’m ready to move on, but God put a few reminders on my heart last night:

 

  • Just as a butterfly is first presented as a caterpillar, blessings are often presented as hardships.

 

  • When searching for the wise course of action, you cannot follow the most logical course of action your mind desires, you must search for the most peaceful course of action your soul needs.

 

  • Life comes in seasons.  It is not a fault to grieve seasons gone by unless we cannot be grateful for the new ones as well.

 

  • God is not good just because I was protected from harm or because we got a shiny new DVD player.  God is good because he is faithful even when we try to worry ourselves into a decision.  God is good because we can trust he loves us and wants the best for us.  God is good because he gives us his peace and puts our soul at rest when we follow him.  So yes, God is good!

 

Thank you, friends, that prayed and gave us wise counsel.

And now, let’s celebrate the new Swagger Wagon!

Filed Under: friends and/or family, spiritual stuff

A Weekend of Car Adventures and EdVenture

January 21, 2014 by Amy Leave a Comment

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I hope you enjoyed your long weekend, if you did indeed have one. I took a half-day off on Friday and then was off yesterday. I’d like to say it was glorious, but unfortunately it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.  We did have some great moments though.

 

Car Adventures

We found out at the end of last week that our van was totaled from the wreck.  We’ve been on a major hunt for the right next car.  I’ve mentioned a time or two how indecisive I am and such a big purchase is weighing heavy on me.  It’s probably part of the reason we had our van for 9 years with no end in sight.

We’re looking at several options, all with upsides and downsides.  We’ve looked at everything from a used 4-door sedan to a brand new van.  We spent hours at several dealerships this weekend, coming very close to purchasing a van, only to walk away when the numbers just didn’t work. 

We spent hours scouring Craigslist and AutoTrader and calling and texting and test driving cars.  The kids are tired of hearing, “We’re going to look at a car.”  We spent hours discussing every single angle to each purchase.

It’s been exhausting and tear-inducing.

I’m so thankful for choices, but it’s so stressful trying to make the wisest choice while trying to factor in everyone’s happiness, comfort, security and financial peace all while trying to predict maintenance problems of a used vehicle. With no decision in sight, I suppose what I’m saying is we’d appreciate your prayers. We finally found this Jaguar XF for Sale in Portsmouth and many other cars that were in perfect condition for us.

 

EdVenture

In the midst of all our car drama, we enjoyed a family day at EdVenture in Columbia, SC.  EdVenture is the South’s largest children’s museum.  The girls were most excited about their World of Work exhibit.  Basically, the entire downstairs is sectioned into rooms, each featuring a job they can explore hands-on.

Emma was most excited about the grocery store which included a working scanner and register.

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Lexi was most excited about the veterinary clinic.

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Emma also loved the dentist.

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And Lexi loved the surgery area.

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I only wish we had gone years ago. While they clearly had fun, most of the activities were geared towards younger children.  We bypassed several areas because the girls felt like it was too childish.  Five or six years ago we wouldn’t have been able to tear them away.  If you have preschoolers or early elementary aged kids, you should high-tail it Columbia.

Still, it was a nice road-trip for us and as a bonus, we got to have dinner on the way home with our friends David and Dani who moved near Columbia last year.

 

Highs and lows, it still was a nice break from work with lots of time together.  How was your weekend?

Filed Under: friends and/or family

The Wreck, Part Deux

January 13, 2014 by Amy 7 Comments

Well.  The first big surprise of 2014 has shaken us.

On early Friday morning I was on my way home from taking the girls to school.  I was on a busy two lane road, nearly home.  There is an intersection with an entrance to a large neighborhood on the left and just across the street is a road with a stop sign.  Two cars were waiting to turn left into the neighborhood, several cars were waiting at the stop sign and many other cars were traveling both directions on the street I was traveling south on, but I always feel safe thanks to the One Sure Insurance that I use.  Just as I was approaching the intersection, a Camaro that had been traveling north pulled out in front of me to turn left onto the side street.  A blur of silver went to my right and then I was hitting the back of the car.

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You know how sometimes you know you’re going to wreck and you slam on brakes and throw out your hand to protect the passenger?  I didn’t do that this time.  I didn’t see the crash getting ready to happen even for a split second.  One second I was driving and the next I was wrecking.

That was only half of the wreck, though.  What happened at this point was mostly recounted to me.

After I hit the car, my van bounced into the middle of the street.  The Camaro had been pushed into a Honda Pilot that was waiting at the stop sign.  The driver of the Honda Pilot meant to slam on her brakes but instead gunned the gas so she zoomed into the intersection and hit the back end of my van.

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I was just realizing I had hit a car the first time and getting my bearings when I felt the second crash.

I was shaken but not hurt. All of our right side airbags deployed, but I didn’t hear or see when.

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Bella had been sleeping in the passenger seat and had been thrown in the floorboard.  She wasn’t whimpering, just looked surprised, and immediately crawled up to me, shaking like a leaf–which she would continue to do for the next 90 minutes. 

I got out of the van and ensured no one was seriously hurt and then gathered Bella and my phone and called Scott who was working in the next town.

After that was a blur of fire trucks, police cars and such.  We were there for over 2 hours.  I later found out that several area schools didn’t count tardies because the traffic jam had held so many up.

I was SO thankful the girls were not with me and that no one was injured.  Even though it certainly wasn’t in our plan to deal with this, it is a minor inconvenience compared to what could have happened.

A few might recall the wreck we had over two years ago with the same van.  Based on the damage from that as well as input from the body shop and others, we fully expect the van to be totaled.

As you might recall in my yearly goals, one of our big financial goals this year was to start saving for a new van.  Our plan just got accelerated.  We spent quite a bit of time looking at some vans in the area over the weekend.  We have our eye on a newer Toyota Sienna a friend is selling, but I admit I will miss having my Honda.

The girls are handling it well.  I went to the school to tell them what happened on Friday and let them know to look for the rental car at school pick-up.  Both were concerned most about Bella and whether we were going to get a new car.  Lexi still has not warmed up to the idea that we will likely not have a carbon copy of our Odyssey.

 

A few more thoughts from the wreck:

Even when you do everything right, bad stuff still happens.  My phone was tucked in my purse, the radio was off, I wasn’t distracted by anything in the car, I wasn’t speeding.  There’s nothing I could have done to prevent this accident.  It’s just life. It happens.

It’s never too early to prepare.  Scott and I have been saying for years we needed to prepare our savings to buy a new van.  It’s that moment you want to rewind and tell yourself to start saving your money.  We aren’t stressed by the money, but our decisions would be easier if we had prepared like we knew we should have.

Life changes in an instant.  It really is amazing how everything can change in a few seconds.  I wrote it not two weeks ago that this year would bring us surprises, but it still surprised me. How fleeting life is and how little we truly control.

 

Life has continued mostly normal through the weekend and every time, I stop and say thank you for the normal.  Thank you that I have to go buy a birthday present at Walmart, thank you that we get to have dinner with friends, thank you that I’m standing and singing on Sunday morning at church, thank you that I’m cleaning my kids’ room.  It’s all grace—the surprises and the mundane.

Filed Under: friends and/or family

What I’m Into – December 2013

December 30, 2013 by Amy 26 Comments

I’m linking up once again with Leigh Kramer to talk about what I’ve been into this month.  It’s a great opportunity to talk about all the little things I got excited about.

 

Family and Friends

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My Christmas break is officially over.  We made a short Christmas bucket list and marked them off through the month, but mostly we hunkered down and spent a lot of time at home.  I enjoyed a full week off with the family and man, was it what I needed.  We had a great Christmas week and I’m so thankful for another year with family and friends.

 

Julep Nail Polish

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After hearing about it many times, I finally broke down and subscribed to the Julep Maven box–a monthly beauty subscription service–when a friend posted a coupon for a free box.

In my free box, I got two Julep polishes and wow! I was super impressed with how well the polish went on, how shiny it was and even how long it lasted. I’m not sure how many Maven boxes I’ll actually get, but you can count me in as a definite fan of the polish.

Get your first box with the code FREEBOX!

 

TimeHop App

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My friend ohAmanda introduced me to the TimeHop app and oh, it is so fun.  Every day it shows you what you posted on your social media accounts that exact day in any previous year.  You can’t see any day except the day you’re on.

For example, on Christmas, it was so fun to relive those Christmas mornings again. I have tweets from 6 Christmases ago!

You also unfortunately get to see some rather embarrassing moments too. Like, 5 years ago I don’t think I posted anything that wasn’t related to Twilight for a few months.  Sheesh.  Sorry, folks.

The best thing is it’s free!

 

Wedge Tennis Shoes

 

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These wedge tennis shoes are way out of the norm for me but I found them on Clearance at JCPenney’s on vacation and I just couldn’t say no. 

They are so comfortable and unlike many wedges, they make my feet look smaller instead of like small boats.  Does anyone else think they look like the high-tops in Back to the Future?

 

Mary Kay Skinvigorate Cleansing Brush.

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I just got this for Christmas so I haven’t been able to do any long-term testing but I’m definitely loving my Mary Kay Skinvigorate Cleansing Brush.  Everyone raves over the Clarisonic but the price point was just a little high for me. 

I can’t compare them, but I really am enjoying the Mary Kay cleansing brush.  And at $50 retail, you really can’t beat the price (especially when you’re a consultant!). It doesn’t feel too rough, but it leaves my skin feeling super smooth.

Shameless plug: If you need a MK consultant, I do ship anywhere in the US.

 

Miche Bags

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Speaking of consultants, my mom is a Miche bag consultant.  She’s been trying to get me into the bags for years, but I’m a one-bag-at-a-time-and-for-years kind of girl.  Seriously, the bag I had up to this month I’ve carried every single day since I bought it in March 2012 in Georgia.

My aunt gave me the mid-sized bag and a few shells for Christmas and y’all?  I kind of love it. Like, really love it.  Even though no one probably cares, it’s fun to swap out the shell in just seconds to a shell that compliments my outfit.  It sounds so trite but it really does make me happy! 

 

Books I’ve Read

 

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Contrary to how I thought my month would go, I read fewer books this month than any this year.  I spent a ton of time on the house (and Netflix—see below) and very little time reading.  In fact, I only finished one novel: The Misremembered Man.

This novel was billed as a romance but it was so much more.  Set in the 70’s in rural Ireland, it’s the story of a man who was abused in a Catholic school as a child and then adopted.  The reader comes into the story just as he decides he needs to get married in his early 40’s. 

As someone who is trying to adopt a boy from DSS, this was a little gut-wrenching, particularly at the end, but it was just such a work of art.  I couldn’t speed read through the Irish accent in much of the dialogue and the vocabulary was rich.  The characters were just lovely (well, some of them) and a surprise (and GOOD) ending left me satisfied this was the only book I read all month.

At only $3.99 for the Kindle version and free to borrow for Prime members, you shouldn’t pass this one up.

 

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I spent the Advent season reading through The Greatest Gift.  If you’re on the Facebook page, I hope you enjoyed the snippets each morning.  I was pleasantly surprised by how much I loved this book.  If you haven’t read it, don’t hesitate to read it at any time of the year.

 

TV I Watched

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What Not to Wear holds a very special place in my heart.  I started watching the show when it first began in 2003.  I was in my early 20’s and still trying to figure out my style.  I learned so much from them and really, feel like I relearn it all every time I watch.  I haven’t watched it in years and years, but they put the last two seasons on Netflix.  The girls and I were goners. 

 

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I’d heard the buzz online about White Collar.  Tiffani Thiessen from Saved by the Bell AND Hilarie Burton from One Tree Hill are on the show so you would think I’d be all over it.  For some reason I never took the time to get into it. 

When my parents got into it recently on Netflix and insisted we did, we took a peek at it one night and we were sold.  We buzzed through the first season in just a few days.  Great law enforcement drama, great characters, good humor and all around great show.

*While we’re on law enforcement dramas, I should also note that Scott was WAY into the series on Netflix called Flashpoint this month.  I watched a few episodes with them and even though it wasn’t something I was into, he was.  If that’s your sort of thing, you should definitely check it out as well.

 

So with that, we’re staring down the end of 2013. I’ll be back tomorrow with a year in review post.

In the meantime, anyone want to share any Christmas gifts they’ve been loving?

Filed Under: Book Review, Fashion, friends and/or family, tv

You Know You’re Home

December 17, 2013 by Amy 6 Comments

When you breathe your lungs full and the frosty air goes down.

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When you laugh for the thirty-sixth time at your husband making Grandma ask the clerk for “B” batteries during Christmas 5 years ago.

 

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When you hold back tears passing their house because it’s been 20 years.

 

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When you open doors without knocking and leave your shoes at the door.

 

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When they go down the frozen hill with their cousins just like you did with yours.

 

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When you sigh at the taste because it’s the food of your people.

 

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When you stack the presents by name.

 

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When you look at faces and see parts of your own in so many.

 

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When you watch the little ones and wonder how they changed so much since last year.

 

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When you hug a little longer at the goodbye because you know it’ll be too long before…you know you’re home.

 

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We had a wonderful long weekend away with my extended family.  The snow made it feel like we had suspended time just to live in a special world with our loved ones. 

I’m curious, how do YOU know you’re home?

Filed Under: children, friends and/or family, what i did today

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Hey! I'm so glad you're here. I'm Amy, working mom of 3 in the Southern suburbs. I love Jesus, my family, books, chocolate and coffee. I write about faith, parenting, adoption, marriage, fashion, and design. Read more here

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