random

So tonight is one of those nights.  Scott is at work and I have new code running for the first time at work.  And it didn’t go well.  And the kids are cranky and hungry and really want my attention because I’ve sat at this computer all day today.  So I’m having to run back and forth between this computer and the girls.  It’s gone sort of like..

run to the hall and change Lexi’s diaper that was getting ready to fall off

run back to the computer to check a chat/process

run back to my room to grab cream for Lexi and literally fight to put it on

run back to the computer to check a chat/process

run back to the kitchen to fix Cocoa Puffs for my hungry kids

run back to the computer to check a chat/process

go back in the living room to move Emma’s food tray to the recliner instead of the ottoman

run back to the computer to check a chat/process

run back to the living room because Emma and Lexi have spilled their Cocoa Puffs  3 feet across the floors while having a pillow fight

run back to the computer to check a chat/process

run back to the living room to dance with Emma during Dancing with the Stars because I promised her we would

run back to the computer to check a chat/process

run back to the living room to dance with Emma during Dancing with the Stars because I promised her we would

run back to the computer to check a chat/process

run back to the living room to dance with Emma during Dancing with the Stars because I promised her we would

run back to the computer to check a chat/process

And here I sit.  The girls are playing by themselves right now and I’m still waiting on someone to do something for me.  Some people think it would be so easy to work from home.  I have to disagree.  Totally.

I’ve had a fear of horses since I was somewhere around 7 I think.  I won’t bore you with the details as I’ve detailed them here.  Just wanted to say I rode a horse AGAIN this weekend at the Cornestone Ranch and I actually think I might be getting over my fear of horses.

And isn’t that hat just lovely?

Notes from the Trenches posted this.  I wasn’t surprised at all to see I am left-brained.

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

There have been times in the past few months where I’ve asked Scott if he wanted to have another baby which is normally followed by a resounding "No!".  And normally when people ask me if we’re having any more children, I promptly respond, "No!" as well.  Which, why is it that so many people ask me that?  I don’t mind it at all but I’m just curious why everyone is so interested in whether we are planning another baby or not.  Anyway.  Number 3 has never really been in the plans.  I’ve always wanted two children and the same for Scott.  But in the past few months, I think if Scott even whispered a mention of wanting a third, I’d be on that train fast.

I keep convincing myself if we were to have a third, we’d most certainly have a boy because there’s no way I’d have to deal with lovingly raise another Princess-crazed little girl or pay for 2 more prom dresses or pay for one more wedding.  Although I know to be wiser because my previous pastor I think thought the same thing and he has four daughters.

But C is pregnant, due in December and at least 4 different girls my age at church just had babies.  Last night at a home party I went to, I spent most of my time holding one of those babies.  And she spit up on me and I had to hold her the whole time.  And yet, I didn’t mind a bit.  And while sometimes I look at them and think THANK GOD I’m not doing that again, there are other times where I wouldn’t mind rocking another baby, watching another baby go through all of those milestones so quickly it makes your head spin and honestly, I wouldn’t mind nursing another baby.  And I could have my little Tucker.  Or Ian.  Or Gabe.

But then I remember all the endless nights, the countless diapers, the feeding of EVERY meal, the guessing of cries, the endless spit-up, the poop, oh the poop.  I remember all that and think do I really want to start over with that.  And that’s 4 more years older I’ll be when all the kids are out of the house.

And Lord, how would I work with three??  I seriously doubt I could continue working at home like I do now.  Of course, Emma would be in school next fall so maybe that work.

And we certainly don’t have the room here.  We’d have to move and really I just don’t want to do that. 

But then I think of decorating a blue room and buying cute, striped polos and khaki shorts and watching Scott and a little boy do man stuff and watching a little boy grow into a man and I think I might just be willing to stretch myself.

And just for the record, I’m NOT pregnant and in fact I’m on meds right now where I’m not allowed to even think of getting pregnant.