Search Results for: ugh

Busy packing

Appreciative of Zicam for keeping my cold to a minimum

Grateful for the lady who retrieved my checkbook from a parking lot

Also to the JCPenney worker who recognized our street as her sister-in-law’s and called us right away

Beyond thrilled that eBay saved Christmas for my girls.  Remind me to give Deborah in West Virginia a big hug when we get to heaven.  I just know she’s an angel.

Overwhelmed with drama from my girls

Soul-satisfied with the maturity I’m starting to see in Emma

Proud of how she helped at a service project this weekend

Missing working from home full-time

Loving that presents are bought and wrapped

Jaded by social media

Wondering if we’ll ever find the right fabric for my bedroom

Frustrated at food

Annoyed that I couldn’t keep up with Truth in the Tinsel

Disappointed that my book hasn’t sold any books in a few weeks

Feeling the winter blues. 

And PMS.

We’ll return to the regularly scheduled program soon.

And last night was another mini-meltdown by Lexi.  A family friend had invited her on an outing this morning but when I said I’d be home all day, she wanted to stay home.   Even giving up a meal at McDonald’s!  When I clarified that I’d be home, but would have to work, she lost it and just shouted, “Now I don’t know what to do!  I wanted to spend time with just me and yooo-uuuu!!”  So we worked it out that she would go on the outing and then her and I would definitely do something with just the two of us later.  I can’t tell you how much that squeezes my heart dry.

Thank you for all your support and prayers on yesterday’s post.  I joined you in prayer last night and finally feel like I got a smidgeon of a word.  He said, “Hang in there.  Don’t quit yet,” and of course he finished it off with, “Don’t worry about the kids.  They are FINE.”  I wasn’t sure whether to roll my eyes or laugh.  In any case when he said they were fine, it felt ok.

So don’t quit praying, we’re going to have to figure out this last month of summer somehow.  I do believe once school hits, this won’t be such an issue.  And if you have any great ideas on things we can do during our one-on-one time, I’d be grateful.  Until then, I guess I’ll go New Kids on the Block style and hang tough.

I feel silly writing about a book that to me is not even a book.  I’ve sent it to a few people with a few disclaimers:

• I know it’s bad writing.  Being able to get 55K words on paper and writing are two different things.  My goal was to get the story on paper and  hopefully reach 50K words.  I did both of those.  Quality writing was never really part of the deal although at times I did try.  Other times I simply got words on paper.
• I didn’t re-read the beginning of the book as I was writing so there are a lot of continuity errors.  A few people have different names later in the book.  Their past changes.  It’s all a little sketchy at times.
• I don’t want to give what happens away, but sometimes I don’t agree with what the characters say and/or do.  I know that sounds weird as I wrote it but at times the characters did what they wanted to do and I couldn’t do much about it.  Man, I know I sound crazy but it’s true.

I thought I would feel very accomplished at the end.  But the past 18 hours or so I’ve really just felt not-enough.  There aren’t enough words to actually publish it, the writing stinks, no one will like it.   And really, I just feel like this is a beginning.  It’s sort of like a piece of clay could be formed into a cube and yet, to turn it into a house would require the actual work.  Right now, I just have a clay cube, something that a lot of people could do.  Few could and will actually work to turn it into a masterpiece.  But as a friend said, no matter what, you wrote a novel.  Good or bad, there are characters and a story and now it’s on paper.

Just a few facts:

• I started this end of October/beginning of November.  It’s all Melissa’s fault.  It took 7-8 months to complete.
• Stephenie Meyer’s Twilight series gave me hope that I could do it.  Something about writing in first-person did the trick.
• First draft is 55K words, 99 pages printed in single-space.
• I still have no idea what I’d name it.
• It’s a romance.  I’m clueless on specific genres after that.  I say it’s a romance but it’s more about the journey a girl takes fighting through her past to love someone in her present.
• I listened to Clair de Lune a lot in the beginning while writing.  Other than that, I wrote in silence because I could think better.
• I saw a guy at Disney that made me smile because he reminded me so much of my lead male character.  I was tempted to stop and take a picture of him.
• I still don’t know what the lead character looks like.  I never described her.
• Scott helped me a lot at the beginning of the book.  I remember one night we talked for hours about it.  After that, we’ve barely talked about it.  He says he may or may not read it.  He hates to read.
• I’ve sent it to 4 or 5 people to read.  I hope they are honest but not brutal in their reviews.
• I did my best brainstorming  just before I fell asleep.  I can’t count the number of times I rolled over and typed something in my notes on my iPhone.  Actually, I probably could since I still have them all.

And I thought I’d share some pictures…evidence of my writing.

Notes everywhere

Timelines and more timelines

Drawings

Edited pages. Melissa did edit a few chapters for me.  (ty, lis!)

So that’s it.  Kind of my brain dump of my non-novel.

I’m sleepy.

I’m sore.

I’m tired of forgetting things for my kids at school. Or worse yet, not looking in the first place.

I’m tired of work.

I’m tired of doing favors for others.

I’m tired of politics in churches.

I’m tired of working out and eating stuff I don’t like and not losing weight.

I wish someone would take care of me.

And I have PMS.

Rough morning for me.

This song is helping.

• We have been eating like gluttons and wasting so much food it’s embarrassing.  I love the dining plan and wouldn’t go another way but wow, you will not go hungry.  We still have extra snacks and even an extra sit down dinner to eat. *Update* I had to use an extra counter meal this morning and took it in the van and still had a snack when we checked out.
• I have given up on Lexi looking at the camera for a picture.  She is always like this but it’s pronounced this week as she is often getting her picture made.  The second you say look at the camera, she looks to the left or right.  I really don’t know what it’s about.
• The weather at this time of the year is absolutely amazing.  The crowds are bad.  Apparently this is peak time but it has been so nice.  We’ve all been in shorts the whole time with just a light jacket in the evenings.
• I love the buses.  Love, love, love.  So worth staying at the resort and not having to drive and park.
• I wouldn’t break my neck trying to plan my trip within the parks.  If anything, be familiar with the map and rides you’d particularly like to ride.  Pay special attention to Fast Pass rides and get those first thing.  But other than that, go with the flow and ride what you can.
• Be sure to buy an autograph book if you have kids.  The kids have had more fun doing the character meet and greets than anything else we’ve done.
• Bringing a teenager along with us probably wasn’t necessary for us but it has been a big win.  The girls have really taken to her and it has helped just having a person that can carry Lexi or hold a hand.  We’ve really taken (good) advantage of her while choosing to shop alone or going on an adult ride together. Those really wouldn’t have been possible without her.  If you’re not traveling with other adults, I’d highly recommend it.
• Plan a day at the resort.  We didn’t even take the time to see that you could rent boats and bikes at the resort as well as an arcade.  It would have been nice to have one last day to actually relax before hurrying back home the next morning.

I definitely don’t see us doing this every year.  Maybe in a few years.  Maybe not.  It’s was a lot of money and exhausting.  And we’re just not Disney crazy.  I think it would be best again when the kids are in the 6-10 age range.  All that said, I’m really glad we went when the kids are still really into the princesses.  It was nice to see them enjoy themselves and I guess that’s what it was all about anyway.