Adoption Update and On Parenting a Son

The title is a little misleading because I don’t have much of an update.  What should have taken 2 weeks tops has taken nearly 3 months.  Our home study was completed in mid-November and we had hoped that by the end of December (2011) it would have been written up, sent it for revisions and then approved by the State.  As of now, the home study hasn’t even been written.  The latest I heard is it might get written and turned in this week but I haven’t heard confirmation.

Now, one part of me wants to rage against the machine.  I mean, that’s just a really long time when it shouldn’t be a really long time.  But the other part of me knows it is divine intervention and this is going just how it ought. 

I think about the adoption often but if I think too much, I get really nervous.   As in, terrified.  What if he hurts my girls?  What if we can’t control him? How will I handle 3 kids?  Will we be able to bond? The list goes on.  So I try not to think too deeply.  Honestly, I just turn my attention to the fact that God has led us to it and then a peace comes over me.  Simple as that.  He’s got it.

Today was one of those days though that I started down that rabbit hole. 

On Pinterest, I ran into this list of Mommy/Daughter rules.  As I read through the list, I knew I could have written it.  Painting nails, putting on makeup, dressing in my clothes, dancing.  We’ve got this down.  I know how to parent a girl.  Well, in general.  We’re actually going through a rough season so I don’t have this down.  But I understand females in the way I know how to paint toenails and put on lip gloss. 

photo (1)

But then I read this list of rules about parenting sons.  And ya’ll.  I’m clueless.  Some of them made sense, of course.  There’s not much more I love than watching a mom teach their son how to hold the door open for someone.  But many others I had this quizzical look on my face. 

Teach him words for how he feels?  Do you know how many different words my girls have for how they feel?  Lots! 

Be a cheerleader for his life?  My girls ARE cheerleaders.

Learn how to throw a football?  We are in trouble, people.

The thing I know though is this: I didn’t read a manual on how to be a mother of girls.  I know I’ll learn.  And don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to have a son.  A son!  But I’m not going to lie. I feel like Jasmine on her carpet flying into a whole. new. world.

Comments

  1. Parenting a boy is FUN. I love the fact that I have both genders in our household so I can experience both sides. But you are right – it’ll come to you as it did with your girls.

    • I do hope it will be fun. Different but still fun. Also very curious to see how the girls interact with a boy. I never had a brother. Didn’t really even have a boy cousin to interact with so the whole concept is very new to me!

  2. Having 4 boys and 1 daughter I have to say that boys are easy Lol I don’t know about your girls but mine is a real drama queen, boys are nothing like that. I think it’s great to have both boys and girls, you get to experience both. I’m sure that it’ll come very naturally from you and your husband to parent a boy. Did you wish for a baby or more older child?

    • Yes, I admit, they to tend towards the drama. We are looking for 3-5 year old. I think we are done with the baby stage :)

  3. Wow exciting news for sure! Remember, Gods timing is part of the preparation, he’ll guide you through it all since He’s the one that brought you to the decision of adoption. :)
    oh ya, your husband will naturally know how to handle a son, you guys will all be fine. Praying for the whole process to go smoothly and swiftly.

    • Yes, I’m very excited to see Scott and his parenting change. Not that he’s not good with his girls but he’s definitely a guy’s guy so I think he’ll have a special kind of fun.

  4. I love the pic! Can’t stop grinning! You got this!

  5. Parenting boys is totally different than girls. You don’t understand what they are thinking, but it amuses you. You love them so much, but don’t understand how they make such a mess in the bahroom. But you’re right, you learn and grow with them.

    • Scott’s OCD so he’s very, very clean and organized with the whole bathroom deal. I don’t have a brother and didn’t share a bathroom with my dad. Definitely one of those things that will be different!

  6. Heather W. says:

    I remember taking that pic at El Cancun. They are definitely girly girls!!! It’s been fun this 40 Days how many times God has reminded me to pray for my nephew that I don’t know yet! It’s going to be an adventure (totally meant to type “adjustment”…hmmmm). God’s definitely in control and He’s got His angels protecting that boy! Just think how God has already orchestrated your work schedule to accommodate his coming home! I think no matter what the long term plans (don’t make me started thinking about my own retirement or lack there of) we have we can get overwhelmed when we think about doing it in our own strength but remember, you’re not in this alone, the Creator is going to be helping y’all every step of the way!!!

  7. God is in control and his timing is always right. Amy you are going to be wonderful with our new grandson. Wow that sounds so good to say. I know from my own parenting boys can be challenging, but the rewards are amazing. We all know that God led you here and He will not leave you alone. Yes the feeling you have are real, and natural, just like when you first had Emma. Whenever you get to feeling overwhelmed just remember you are doing God’s will, and He will see you and the family thur all the adjustments. I know that God has just the right little fellow just waiting to be welcomed into your loving arms. To know that you and the rest of the family will have the opportunity to bring this little guy up in a loving Christian home for the Glory of the Lord is more than wonderful. It is truely amazing. God’s amazing GRACE

    • Grandson! That does sound weird. I only know that in relation to Kyle. It will be fun to have a little boy around! Thank you for the support, love you!

  8. Wow! Reading this reminds me of all the feelings and questions that I went through too. You are going through the same exact thing that I went through when adopting Kellan. I was excited and scared at the same time. I remember going through the “What to Expect” book that you gave me, and it had a chapter on adoption. It helped address alot of those. As for bonding, to be honest there are times I forget Kellan is. He was meant to be a part of our family, and I think of the years that we waited for him. But God’s timing is perfect, because Kellan was meant for us. I am so excited for you! If you want practice with a boy we can always let you keep Kellan for a weekend. lol. :)

    • Yes, Kellan is right where he ought to be! Love that little boy. Hopefully we will have a playmate for him soon and he can teach him how to play ball and the drums :) And we would love to watch Kellan anytime…seriously, call us!

  9. I agree & understand believing that timing is perfect, but the human side of me is thinking bureaucracy stinks & the wheels of adoption for children needing good homes is just too slow. You and Scott are terrific parents and I’d imagine that won’t change with a boy. Also, I’ll volunteer my services to teach him how to throw a football and how to cheer for Georgia Bulldogs! :)

  10. I love that photo of you and the Girls! It reminds me of being at Macy’s and the three Girls checking out the lip gloss / lipstick display (you were looking for makeup at the MAC counter). It amazes me how much they have all grown since then.

    You and Scott are fantastic parents to the Girls and I cannot imagine a better home for your son. You’ll become familiar with Thomas the Tank Engine and Bob the Builder. And if you thought that the Girls’ Polly Pockets has small pieces, just wait for Lego and K’nex! There is no pain in the world like stepping on a wayward Lego piece in the dark.

    Your Son is already a blessed little boy with so many waiting to love him. I’m excited to meet him myself! I can’t think of a better reason for a road trip. We’ll continue to pray for all of you as I can only imagine how hard the waiting must be. Love you!

    • I have heard the woes of many parents and the piece of lego. The girls did have a set of the bigger ones and those hurt so I can’t imagine how much more the little ones do.

  11. Amy, your girls can name their emotions because you taught them to. Now, I don’t have a son and I don’t know about raising boys, but that list? You got it. Trust. You do all those things with your girls – the football is just “know their world”. You do that now. You will do it with him. And yes, you will teach him how to name his emotions because you know how to name yours.

    No worries on this one, my friend. You have it covered.