Love, Anxiety and The Wait

 

A slip of paper lies on the table waiting for collection.  One meeting awaits completion.

Nearly five years of papers and meetings and it’s coming down to these two. The final pieces needed for our adoption approval.

I already know the paper says I’m approved and I have no doubts the final home study update will go well.

And yet, I feel the weight of it this morning.

My head pounds, reminding what a serious thing we are doing.

And yet, my heart says it’s ok. I haven’t seen his face. I know so little about his history.  There’s a growing love that overwhelms the anxiety.

It’s such a risk to love without knowing, without seeing. And yet, I can feel it happening.

Just as I loved my girls as I awaited their arrival and felt the risk of the birth and bringing in someone new, I can feel that love growing here too.

The wait has been long, but it’s also been good.