I was fixing coffee in the kitchen tonight while everyone gathered for our small group that we host each Thursday night. I heard Scott greet a couple coming in, Dave and Nikki, who have just returned from a trip to Jerusalem. I had wondered if they were going to come as they had just returned at 2am last night. In fact, I told Scott earlier today that I hoped they come so we could see them, but also hoped they stayed home to rest.
I turned from the kitchen counter to go to the living room and greet them. Nikki met me on the way and had something wrapped in a towel in her hand. She stopped in front of me and took a feather from the towel and held it up in front of me. She says, “This is from the shores of the Sea of Galilee.” Well, I don’t know what came over me exactly, but I nearly burst into tears. I mean, what? A feather from the SEA OF GALILEE? Where Jesus fed the multitudes??
I just can’t even. A feather from all the way around the world, from my friends who were so very busy with plans of their own and thought to bring it all the way back. And more than that, really from My Savior in a place where He performed a miracle. Tears overwhelm me now writing this. He’s so, so good to me.
After everyone left for the evening tonight, I spent a few minutes going back to that story in Scripture where he stood at the Sea of Galilee and fed the multitudes to see if God would have anything to say to me. (Except, of course, hello, I brought a feather to you from my place).
And guys, then it hit me. Our court date is in 7 days. 7! Of course it is not an accident that she gave me this feather today!
Cue more tears.
And so I started in on the story. A crowd has followed Jesus to the far shore of the Sea of Galilee. He tests his disciples and asks how they will feed them all. In one account, they are distraught because they don’t have enough money. Jesus tells them to go get what they have. A boy has some loaves and fish. You are probably familiar with the story. Jesus performs a miracle and ends up feeding 5,000 men and what is thought to be thousands more women and children.
As I was reading tonight, I felt the Holy Spirit whisper that these words were for me too. I have felt so entirely inadequate with this adoption. Just in Monday’s post I was writing about how I am not patient enough or loving enough or compassionate enough, or organized enough or whatever it might be. And God says, “Yes, I know.” And he replaces the words that were penned so long ago. “Jesus then took Amy’s loaves–the small, imperfect efforts to love her family–, he gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish. When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, ‘Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.'”
And I feel it. Yes, Jesus will take my small offering and multiply it, He will feed the multitudes with our small efforts and nothing–not one thing–will be wasted.
Maybe the multitudes that are fed by our efforts are you reading now or maybe the multitudes are our future generations down Jac0b’s family line. Maybe both.
So many more tears.
We talked tonight at group about the book of Ruth. Naomi lost so much–her husband and two sons. And we talked about how if she’d only known that all her suffering would be redeemed so that her lineage would lead to Jesus, maybe she wouldn’t have been so bitter at all. And what a reminder it is to us today–to me today, even when we don’t see God working or when it seems that times are hard that God is still at work. He does redeem and when we are His, not one ounce of suffering is wasted.
He can take our good, our bad, our not enough, our too much and turn it into a miracle.
And then, just as my heart is overflowing, God tips it over again as I realize that the loaves were numbered 5 and then fishes were 2. Seven pieces of offering given for the miracle. There’s a miracle coming. I just know it.