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A Weekend in Charleston

June 23, 2014 by Amy 2 Comments

It’s Sunday night as I write. The girls have their cousin sleeping over and they’re hidden away in their rooms, probably in my clothes and putting on makeup. Scott is away at a men’s evening at the church. The dogs, including my parent’s who are out of town, are laid in their preferred spots across the living room. My sewing machine is waiting on me in the dining room. I finally pulled out the pieces to finish Emma’s T-shirt quilt this afternoon and if my machine would actually cooperate, I’m determined to finish.

We spent the weekend with our friends in Charleston. You might remember them from this post On Community. I’m feeling that same, filled-up, rested satisfaction and peace after taking a few days away from the regular routine and spending time with generous friends.

I read this book while we were there by Joyce Meyer called Eat the Cookie, Buy the Shoes: Giving Yourself Permission to Lighten Up. It’s a book for people that have forgotten to enjoy the little things in life. The people who live to check items off the checklist, to get things done. The people who may be taking life a little too seriously and have a tendency to lose their joy. They’re do-ers not be-ers. People like me.

She encouraged readers to celebrate you, your progress and your hard work and kick the guilt to the curb.

And so, as I read this in Charleston, I practiced the discipline of celebration. I said yes when Emma wanted to go get pedicures (our first together and my first in years). I said yes when dessert was suggested for dinner and I said yes when the girls wanted to play dominos and when they wanted to build sand castles and I said yes when he asked if I wanted ice cream on that dessert. I clapped when we drove over our county line on the way home because we’d successfully navigated the weekend. It was a weekend of celebrating months of hard work both professionally and personally.

One of my favorite stories from the weekend is driving back, sandy and dirty from the beach, and deciding we needed to go to King of Pops. No one was really sure where the place was and so, after looking on their Facebook page, we drove to the address in North Charleston.

We ended up in a part of town they are trying to revive, on a tiny main street of sorts. We circled the block but didn’t see a storefront. We did see a building in the back with some monster graffiti on the wall and our friends felt like that must be their warehouse or office as it was similar to their Charlotte location, but we could never find a storefront.

We called the number on their page and happened to get someone. He said their retail store wasn’t opened yet and they only had carts out on locations, but he happened to be in the warehouse where we were and we could just come right there and buy them directly from him. So, that’s what we did! We went in a big room full of freezers of popsicles. Scott even had the perfect amount of cash to buy our popsicles. We got chocolate sea salt, blueberry lemongrass, key lime pie, and Oreo cheesecake. All homemade—even the Oreos! They were DEE-LISH.

We were driving away with our melting popsicles and it was just one of those moments that felt God-ordained. I don’t know if God ordains popsicle moments, but I know I was looking for moments to celebrate over the weekend and as we were driving home, all smiling and sharing the happiness over stumbling upon the warehouse and the yumminess of the popsicles, it truly felt like a moment that was supposed to happen.

And so, here I am back on Sunday night and I’m trying to continue to celebrate in little ways—to let go of the weight of the to-do list a little. My sewing machine is waiting on me and I plan to enjoy the rest of what is left of this weekend. Monday morning will be here before I know it and who knows, maybe I’ll celebrate finishing this post!

Lessons from the Grocery Store

June 11, 2014 by Amy 4 Comments

One of the best homemaking decisions I ever made was to start grocery shopping the same day every week. I wrote a post last year for Money Saving Mom detailing how I do this. I still do it and I still love it. But, for days like Saturday when I was completely overwhelmed, I didn’t go. And yes, it’s meant more eating out this week, especially since it’s the kids’ first week of summer.

Lexi finally looked in the pantry last night and said, “You’ve got to go shopping or we’re going to DIE!”

Ok, y’all, it wasn’t that bad. I mean, I still had edible strawberries in the fridge. But still, it was time to go. But I hate grocery shopping. I remembered, though, how much the girls love doing it—especially the self-checkout line.

So far, I’ve let them go in the store while I waited at the front once or twice for one or two things. I decided since they had a friend over, to make the list a little longer and see if they wanted to tackle it together. They did. Enthusiastically, they did.

So, last night, I sat at the front where Starbucks is to monitor the door, of course, and kept an eye on them as they walked down the aisles while they picked up the essentials. They even ordered meat and cheese from the deli on their own.

As I was sitting at the front, another mom pushed her daughter in a dinosaur-shaped cart into checkout. The little girl started wailing when her mom told her she couldn’t have one of the helium balloons hanging above the gum. The mom stayed cool, kept checking out and eventually the girl stopped crying.

My heart went out for her because how many times did my girls have a fit in the grocery store? Or, my favorite story where Lexi needed a diaper change at checkout and the smell nearly made the young male cashier pass out and he was sure to let me know. Shoot me dead right now, please.

I was sitting there watching this and thinking of all those times I saw grocery shopping with the kids as a distraction to parenting. If I could just never have to do these silly errands and get down to real parenting. I need to teach them values and we need to memorize Scripture!

But, it hit me afresh while I watched my girls scoot around the store with a list, while those serious times are important too, teaching them life skills like grocery shopping is a big part of my job.

Grocery shopping, while painful with little ones, teaches them how to drive the cart on the right side of the aisle, and how to say excuse me, and how not run, and where the coffee is located, and how to budget your money, and how to make good food choices, and how to look for sales. It’s all vital to raising kids. And unfortunately, it happens one un-bought balloon at a time.

I was more committed than ever to not see these chores as a distraction from parenting, but to include the girls in my chores so I can parent them better.

And of course, God wouldn’t let this moment go without parenting me a bit.

He said that’s what I want you to get too—your spiritual life isn’t built just at devotional times or corporate worship. I’m trying to teach you as you grocery shop and wash dishes and do the laundry and go to work.

He wants us to learn to seek him out no matter what we’re doing. He wants to teach us to look for the lonely and lost as we go down aisle 6. He wants us to talk to him while we fold that 3rd load of sheets. He wants us to work as unto him. He wants us to teach us how to speak in love to our spouses.

All of life, not just the dedicated times, is part of the sanctification process.

I was reminded of Romans 12:1

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

and Deuteronomy 6:6-7

These commandments I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

All of life, should be interweaved with our faith, not just the set aside times.

And so, all these mundane tasks that I loathed this weekend, now look like opportunities. Not just to teach my kids life skills, but as spiritual acts of worship and opportunities to work out my salvation.

I don’t know that I’ll ever like grocery shopping, but I’m thankful that God can use even that to show me more of him.

A Dog and a Little Person

June 6, 2014 by Amy 3 Comments

A little funny for your Friday staring my nephew and parents’ dog Luke.

What is this little person with a spoon and no clothes?

Pst, I don’t have to talk to him, right?

What is that face you’re making?

I can’t do it.

I refuse.

That cracks me up every time I read it. Even though his looks tell a different story, Luke is actually extremely affectionate with people (and who couldn’t love that little person!) Actually, now that I think of it, Luke was probably miffed because he wasn’t petting him. Love you, Lukey!

Updated with A Dog and a Little Person, Version 2.0:

My mom had to do a version to show what Luke was REALLY thinking.

I’m sitting here real pretty for you to pet me.

Uhhh, hello, I’m still here. You’re not petting me!

Love the face, kid, but you’re still not petting me!

Mooom, he’s not petting me!

Maybe if I ignore him, he’ll want to pet me!

Yep, that’s our Luke!

Spring Break 2014 in Tennessee

April 21, 2014 by Amy 1 Comment

The past week here was Spring Break and let me tell you, it was much-needed and much-enjoyed.

I worked the first few days of Spring Break, but by Wednesday evening, we were off to East Tennessee for a long weekend. My uncle and his family were there for the whole week and we totally crashed their place along with my parents (thank you, guys!) for the weekend.

We just planned to go about 2 weeks ago when I took Thursday and Friday off on a whim and then found out they were going to be there and my parents already had plans to go visit with them. It ended up being a beautiful weekend with some fun adventures.

Here’s a few of our favorite moments.

Lunch at Old Mill Restaurant

This restaurant came highly recommended by just about anyone you mentioned Pigeon Forge to.

After getting a table full of huge Southern plates, I can see why. We actually met some friends that were in town at the same time so it was a great lunch out. If only I weren’t gluten-free, I could have enjoyed the dumplings and fried-everything a little more.

If you want to experience some good Southern BBQ, I’d highly recommend Bennett’s BBQ Pit—no relation to us but I’d gladly claim them!

Horseback Riding at Walden’s Creek Stables

You might remember a post I wrote when Emma was taking horseback riding lessons a few years ago where I explained my fear of riding horses. Well, I decided to be brave and go ahead with the group ride. And y’all, it was by far our favorite hour of the whole trip.

I really thought Lexi was going to have a breakdown and insist on staying back after she got on her horse. “It’s moving!!” I felt the same way. However, after some quick reassurances from some great guides, we were all on our way down the trail.

We really had a great time. It was the perfect weather outside and everyone’s horses were well-behaved.

I don’t think any of us were ready to stop at the end of the trail. Definitely a must-do!

Titanic Museum

The four of us visited the Titanic Museum one afternoon. Lexi has been really interested in it over the last year or so, so she insisted it was a must-do. I was skeptical.

They give you a card with the profile of one of the actual passengers. As you go through the exhibit, you get to see more details about your person. At the end, you get to see whether you lived or died in the memorial room. It sounds cheesy, but it was pretty brilliant. It didn’t hurt that I got one of the richest women on board who was a famed fashion designer—who lived.

The exhibit also included a few pieces from the actual ship, which was sobering. One piece in particular has not left my mind. Someone’s pocket watch had stopped about 15 minutes after the accident and it was later found in his pocket when he was recovered. Very difficult to literally see someone’s time standing still.

I loved seeing the life-size replica of the grand staircase and Lexi declared she wanted to live in the museum. I don’t know if it was that good, but I certainly recommend it.

Titanic pictures courtesy of TitanicPigeonForge.com

Cade’s Cove

Cade’s Cove is part of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. It is a valley where many of the settlers lived and where many of their building have been preserved which you can walk through.

Wildlife also roam the land. We hoped to see a bear, but instead got to see deer, a turkey and a coyote prowling in a field after some of the deer.

And of course, the National Park offers many beautiful views.

Over the weekend we also took advantage of the Tanger outlets literally right around the corner—maybe too much—and stopped by the famous Apple Barn to get some apple butter before we left town.

We just scratched the surface of the things to do in the area.

I’ve always turned my nose up a bit to vacationing in the mountains, always wanting my toes to dig into the sand, but I have to say this little vacation might have swayed me. The view from the resort pool certainly didn’t hurt.

We finished off our Spring Break with a beautiful Easter day celebrating Jesus’ resurrection.

I hope you had a wonderful break if you had one and have a great Monday!

Have you been to Pigeon Forge? Where did you go for Spring Break? Did you have a great Easter? Let me know!

When an Amusement Park and Garden Meet

April 14, 2014 by Amy 3 Comments

We had a beautiful welcome to Spring Break this weekend. It was one of those weekends you just had to find something to do outside because it was a pity not to enjoy the weather.

We kicked off Spring Break with a trip to Carowinds, our local amusement park. I bought the family passes as an early Easter presents. It’s one of my favorite places—barring the crowds, wait times and exorbitant food prices.

I was so excited to go and truthfully, it was a bust. Scott is not a fan to begin with and only goes to pacify me. The kids hadn’t been in two years and I guess lost their zeal of roller coasters. After only riding 2 very mild rides, we ate some fries, rode the needle—which I cannot make myself call a ride–and called it a day. I passed all the loop-de-loop roller coasters lovingly and promised I’d visit another day—maybe with someone else’s family.

Parenting is so tricky, y’all. Sometimes you have to push your kids into doing some activities because they don’t realize it’s going to be fun and they end up having the time of their lives. And then sometimes you push and it’s just as miserable as they thought it would be. They saw my disappointment on the way home and promised they’d go again and try the Meteorite with me. At least you go upside down on that one.

One moment I don’t want to forget is being on one ride with Lexi and her belly laughing and exclaiming in surprise, “I’m laughing for no reason!!” That’s what I had hoped for over and over again Friday, but I’m thankful for at least one very joyful moment.

I also planted our garden on Saturday after I used http://www.anjtreeservice.com/, the tree removal services to clean out the garden a little bit. I love the entire process—buying the plants at our local Farmer’s market, tilling the ground, planting, mulching, watering. I’m hoping for a better year than last.

God never fails to speak to me as I work out there and Saturday was no exception. As I was tilling the soil, I thought of a young man we ran into at Carowinds the night before.

We walked up the ramp to this roller coaster where it dumps you into a room of about 15 smaller lines for each seat on the ride. There were plenty of spots in the smaller lines but for some reason these ladies were standing at the top of the ramp like there was nowhere to go. I couldn’t understand why they were waiting there, but clearly, we had several minutes to wait anyway, so I didn’t push it.

A young family came up behind us. The young man was making a ruckus as soon as he got behind us. I looked to find him—baggy clothes, black teeth, a baseball cap tipped sideways, more tattoos than skin—nearly pushing through Scott. I told him I was sorry but we were waiting for the ladies and I wasn’t sure why they weren’t moving.

He said he didn’t care and he was going so he just went around us and them and went to a smaller line. He still had 3 or 4 more turns to wait so he didn’t really gain anything but about 15 feet. The ladies soon realized what was going on and moved into a line so we did too.

I was thinking about this young man as I tilled our garden beds. When you first start, the soil is hard. The roots have no room to grow. So I added peat moss and richer soil and turned it. God reminded me this young man’s heart was like the hard soil. It was hard and full of himself. There was no air, so space, no room for others.

As I mixed in the peat moss, the soil became airy and soft. God reminded me that Jesus is what makes the difference for us. He helps break up the “me” we have and makes room for love of others. Our spiritual roots can grow deep when the soil is prepared well.

I prayed for me and my family that we would have soft and open hearts for others. I prayed for that young man that he would have the same. I really don’t know much about him besides those few minutes, but I know enough about all of us to know we could all use some tilling.

And before I go, I must show you this picture of Bella. She has been ruining my beds all winter, jumping in and digging in them. She tried to do the same as I was working in them Saturday but I scolded her, making sure she knew she was not allowed in. She got the hint and went over and sulked underneath the swingset and watched me worked. A few minutes later, I looked up to see she had snuck around the side of the beds and was watching me like this:

“Mom, are you sure I can’t play in the beds?” Y’all, it was the best moment of the whole weekend.

Hoping you had a wonderful weekend too and have a great week!

3 Things I Learned From a 5th Grade Talent Show

April 8, 2014 by Amy 5 Comments

On Friday night last weekend we went to the 5th grade talent show at my kids’ elementary school. I admit, I was dreading it.

The night included singing, dancing, gymnastics, comedy and TaeKwonDo. (Sadly, I’m realizing as I type, no instruments). Did the kids wow me with their talent? Did we have the next American Idol or Olympian in our midst? Well, likely not, but we smiled and cheered and teared up and sang along and laughed more in that hour than we had in weeks. And none of them were even my kids. It was one of the best evenings I’ve had in awhile.

I learned a few things in that hour about art and life that night that I hope I don’t soon forget.

The beauty of art is the courage

Before a note was sung or a board was kicked Friday night, each child was cheered not for what they had already done but what they were going to do. See, the real win Friday night was that they showed up.

At some point in the last weeks, they had decided it was worth it to stand on a stage and share their gift. They showed up for an audition and were vulnerable enough for someone to judge them. Then, standing in front of a crowd of hundreds ranging from infant to grandparent, they stood. And then they never left. Even when the rhythm was lost and the line was forgotten, they stood and they kept going.

The beauty of our art is not that we show up and do it well but that we have the courage to show up at all.

People cheer the loudest when you mess up

Some might think the win of sharing your art is the accolades of when you do it perfectly. But, from what I heard and saw Friday night, the loudest cheers and the biggest smiles were when someone messed up and then stayed. The crowds erupted with encouragement and parents plastered on smiles to let them know they were still proud.

One of my favorite moments was looking around during a performance that wasn’t perfect and yet, every single person had a smile on their face. I especially loved the grandfathers that were beaming with pride–at someone else’s grandchild.

It’s ok to mess up at our attempts at our art. People are the happiest when we mess up and then we keep going–probably more than if we did it perfectly from the start.

Fun isn’t a waste of time, but the best time

For some of us, it’s easy to dismiss the jokesters and comedians, but let me tell you, listening to elementary kids telling silly jokes and reciting Who’s On First are some of my favorite moments from the night. There is a talent to memorizing the lines and getting the timing, your voice and your physical movements all in sync. And a room full of adults laughed and smiled and clapped.

Having fun is some of the best art out there.

And by the way, why did the skeleton stay home from the dance?

He had nobody to go with.

Guys, I don’t care what kind of art you make–because we all make something–get out there and do it. Trust me when I say the world will be a happier place no matter how it goes. Just show up.

You can do anything, but not everything.

March 27, 2014 by Amy 8 Comments

Today’s post is a perfectly timed guest post from my online friend Jacey from The Balanced Wife. This idea that you can do anything, but not everything is a lesson I’ve learned the hard way over many years. Even this week, I had to say no to writing here as work and family priorities took over. Jacey gives some very wise encouragement here I hope you take to heart. Also, be sure to check out her brand new eBook on the same topic at the bottom!

I sent a relieving but discouraging email last week. I had agreed to help someone with a small but recurring task, but I knew in my gut even as I said yes that I should have said no.

So there I was, a month later, backing out for reasons that were already true when I said yes in the first place.

This wasn’t the first time and won’t be the last I commit for all the wrong reasons: out of obligation, fear of letting someone down or fear of missing out.

Even when my reason is pure – a genuine desire to help – I find myself in the same position by denying the limits of my time, energy and attention.

Admitting my limitations feels like admitting weakness, but I’m learning that an inability to say no is itself a weakness that says more about my insecurity than my reliability.

To be available for what’s most important, we have to say no to what isn’t. It takes strength and wisdom to discern the difference.

What happens to overcommitted women who habitually pile on more? They lose their joy. They get stressed and anxious and stop attending to the truly essential.

They consult their checklists and their calendars and tie their self worth to checked boxes. They forget to thaw the chicken for dinner, forget to return the call that mattered, forget to pray.

They start resenting the commitments they’ve made to good things. Acts of service become a point of pride (the destructive kind) and identity. It all starts to feel too heavy, too burdensome.

They dream of a nap and a bubble bath but feel guilty indulging in either. They act from their own strength and inevitably burn out.

What do we do in the face of this losing cycle? Unfortunately, I’m afraid we perpetuate it. Instead of assuring that exhausted woman it’s okay to get off the treadmill, I find myself rushing to the first treadmill I can find. Surely if she can do it, I can too.

No more.

That thing that’s draining your energy? It’s okay to quit. Maybe it’s a book you are slogging through, or an exhausting friendship. It could be a failing business, a networking group, a gym membership, or an unreasonable client.

Maybe The Blog of Lee S Rosen is a good thing that needs to be set aside to make room for something better. Whatever that thing is, lay it down, because you can’t do it all.

Here’s to saying no from strength instead of yes from weakness. Here’s to running the race He’s set before us and forsaking all others.

Jacey is passionate about living intentionally in the face of real demands, the unexpected, and human nature itself. Her book on the topic, Escaping Reaction; Embracing Intention, released this month. She writes about relationships, faith and personal growth at The Balanced Wife. She lives in Charleston, SC with her husband, Mike, and golden retriever, Jack.

Gymnastics Playset

March 10, 2014 by Amy 1 Comment

What do you get when you mix a request from two little girls for a balance beam, me and the girls at work and school and Scott with Lowe’s? You get this:

You also get two very, happy, very active girls.

I don’t know how he does it. He had no direction from us what to do and we come home 8 hours later and it’s basically designed and built.

Gymastics playset

If you’d like to build one, Scott says you’re going to need:

2 8’ 4x4s (for the shorter posts on the right)
4 10’ 4x4s (for the balance beams and longer vertical posts on the let)
4 4×4 metal brackets (to hold up the balance beams)
2 1 1/4” 5’ PVC pipe (for the bars)
4 1/4” 6” lag bolts (to stabilize the balance beams)

He also noted the posts were set 2’ in the ground with no concrete.

And yes, I did get up there and do a flip on the shorter one. I certainly felt my age.

Back in 5th grade we had a bar on the playground. I remember flipping over and over and over, probably 60 times in a row. I’d go home with bruises on my hips and one time flew my nose right into the ground. Did you guys ever do that?

Our backyard is turning into a small amusement park, but I love that the girls will have so many memories of their dad building them stuff like this. Good times.