spiritual stuff

All This Time

March 27, 2012 by Amy 6 Comments

A few years ago when I was writing my novel—I say that in all humbleness as it is locked away for no one to see—I was trying to fix my main character. I had thought to make it a main stream novel but I remember telling someone, “I can’t fix her without God.”

I’ve been counseling a friend the past few days and I feel the same with her. The only hope I have to give is from God. Only through Him do I know how to make the wrong ok, have reason to forgive and look forward to the future.

I was just listening to Britt Nicole’s new song All This Time just now and I love the chorus:

All this time
From the first tear cry
To today’s sunrise
And every single moment between
You were there
You were always there
It was You and I
You’ve been walking with me all this time

And it’s true. He’s been with me since I was a little girl. If there is anything good or praiseworthy in my life it’s not because I’m smart or have the right answers. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s only because I did what was right even when I didn’t want to because He said it. It’s because I learned that His small voice was right every time I tried to tell him he was wrong. It’s because I learned His ways are the right ways. It pays off every. single. time. Patience, kindness, generosity always are the right responses and the amazing thing is I didn’t muster up any of those qualities. He gives them through His spirit. When you seek his voice and obey, those are the qualities on display.

I don’t know where I’m going with this except just to take time and say God is good all the time. If you need hope, it’s through him. Only through him. I’m so thankful for all his blessings all this time. He’s so good. So faithful. He loves me so well and I just want that so badly for everyone else. The Christian life doesn’t mean it’s easy but it does mean it’s full of hope. Even in the darkest hour there is hope in his purpose and goodness.

If you’re struggling, please hold on to him. I don’t have the answers. I don’t. But I can point you to the one who does. God can fix it. Whatever your “it” is, he either has a way out or he’ll hold you straight through. Find that still, small voice and hang on to it with all you’ve got.

On Dressing Up at Church

March 16, 2012 by Amy 22 Comments

These posts from Marla have weighed heavy on my mind since she posted because it’s something I’ve struggled with during recent years.

I’d highly recommend you reading them for yourself but she basically makes the case for dressing how YOU feel appropriate for church. For her, that’s jeans. For many of you reading, that’s your very best dress, skirt, heels. For some of you, it’s jeans but you wear skirts because that’s just what your church does. For me, I wear jeans (and some casual dresses) because I’m comfortable AND that’s what most of my church wears.

But I haven’t always been casual at church. In fact, it’s only the past 3 years attending our new church did I even fathom wearing jeans on a Sunday morning. I grew up in a Church of God church. Church of God historically is very strict. Very. Women just did not wear pants. I was in my very best dress every single Sunday. I can remember my mom making me change when I wore anything not dressy enough, even as a 15 and 16 year old I had a dress, pantyhose and dress shoes on. But so did everyone else. It’s just the way church was.

Then I got engaged and started attending church at Scott’s Southern Baptist church where we stayed for over 10 years. Same thing. Everyone dressed up. It’s just the way church was. And for the first time, I saw some some ugly things regarding dress. And I don’t mean ugly dresses. I mean ugly attitudes toward dress. Now, before I say this, hear me when I say I’m not putting that church down. That church is like family. I’m serious. In fact, many of them are literally family members. But I did see some ugly things in regards to dress. I know of people that were highly judged because they did not have a tie on when they were on stage. People were looked down on when they wore shorts on a Sunday night. You were definitely singled out if you weren’t in a dress or skirt Sunday morning. No one would ever say anything to you directly, but the judgment was still there. NOT by everyone. Many could care less what you wore. But some people did. A lot. And some people didn’t really care much but dressy was just the acceptable standard.

Our current church accepts any sort of dress. There are some folks who still wear dresses but not often. Most people are in jeans or a casual skirt. All the men wear jeans, even the lead pastor. Only a few men have jackets. Kids are mostly in casual wear. Some girls have casual dresses, but not Sunday dresses. My girls wear jeans most Sundays unless it’s a holiday and then we’ll dress up. Scott hasn’t worn a suit, dress pants or dress shoes since we’ve started there.

And FOR ME, I feel so much more free. Before I was SO CONCERNED with what I was wearing. Clothes were almost 90% of what I was thinking of on Sunday mornings, more than any other day of the week. I had to have the just right outfit, the just-right shoes. I had to make sure my makeup and hair were just right. And then I’d spend all morning pulling at my skirt, tugging at my pantyhose, comparing myself to everyone else dressed up. Church was like the Super Bowl for fashion every week. On the other hand, I didn’t care what anyone else wore. I honestly could have cared less if someone walked in with shorts. The concern was all inward and how I looked and stacked up. Was I any better than the folks looking down on people for not wearing a tie? I doubt it.

Now? I get dressed like I would every other morning. Sure, I care about what I look like. I make sure I’m modest and respectful and am not dressed like a slob but I’m not thinking about what everyone else thinks. Because no one is dressed up and no one cares. My feet don’t hurt when I’m standing to worship. I’m not worried about tugging a skirt or shirt. And best of all, I don’t spend time seeing how I stack up to everyone else. I still worship the same. I still concentrate the same. In fact, at times, I’m less distracted by looking at everyone. Furthermore, the one time I remember being distracted is by someone wearing a dress.

Hear me, I’m NOT bashing folks that dress up. I dressed up for 30 years of my life and ALL of the rest of my family and many close friends dress up Sunday morning. But what I am saying is now that I don’t, I’ve realized that dressing up on Sunday brought some ugly things out of me at times and I think it does for a lot of other people too (but not everyone!).

And here’s my most important observation: I think it can create a false sense of I-have-everything-together and enforces people acting and dressing one way on Sunday and then another during the week. You are polite and nice and worship in your nice clothes but then you walk out of the door, not only do your clothes change but also your attitude and actions do too.

I’m not looking down on anyone for dressing up or dressing down. You have to do what you feel comfortable with. But what I would ask is, are you TOO preoccupied with what you’re wearing on Sunday morning and furthermore what OTHER people are wearing on Sunday morning (comparing or judging)? I can honestly say I was and I’m not sure I even saw how much I was until I wasn’t. Sunday mornings have very little thought to what I wear and NO thought to what anyone else is going wear OR what they’re going to think about what I wear. I’m wholly concentrated on worship and the sermon and reconnecting with like-minded believers. And I think that’s just how it ought to be.

Psalm 112 – Wealth and Fear

March 14, 2012 by Amy 3 Comments

A verse in Psalm 112 was brought to my attention yesterday about my fear of the unknown in regards to the adoption. I read the whole Psalm though and have been mulling it over ever since. We all know I like formulas and lists and I couldn’t help make a few out of this psalm. Psalm 112 describes believers and the blessings they have. I saw two categories of descriptions. The first is a list descriptions of those who fear the Lord:

Find great delight in his commands
Gracious
Compassionate
Righteous
Generous
Lend freely
Conduct affairs with justice
Freely scatter gifts to the poor

And the second grouping of descriptions are ways in which these believers are blessed:

Children will be mighty
Wealth and riches in their houses
Righteousness endures
Good will come
Never shaken
Remembered forever
No fear
Secure hearts
Lifted high in honor
Wicked will be vexed

Although I was reading this in regard to my fear, the benefit of wealth caught my attention as I was talking to my mom recently about how we all have our different journeys and have many different experiences regarding finances. Do these verses guarantee riches if you are believer? I don’t think so. There is a commentary on this Psalm I read that has stuck with me in regard to the wealth and riches:

They shall be blessed with outward prosperity as far as is good for them: Wealth and riches shall be in the upright man’s house, not in his heart…He shall have wealth and riches, and yet shall keep up his religion, and in a prosperous condition shall still hold fast his integrity, which many, who kept it in the storm, throw off and let go in the sunshine. Then worldly prosperity is a blessing when it does not make men cool in their piety, but they still persevere in that; and when this endures in the family, and goes along with the wealth and riches, and the heirs of the father’s estate inherit his virtues too, that is a happy family indeed.

I also love how this commentary said it:

Temporal blessings follow the service of God, exceptions occurring only as they are seen by God to be inconsistent with those spiritual blessings which are better.

A previous pastor of mine would always say, “God gives you what you need, when you need it.” I think this wholly applies to this situation. If having wealth and riches would lead you astray from God, is it really a blessing? No. Wealth is then a weight. But can it be a blessing if our hearts are still bent toward God? Yes! If our hearts are bent toward God, then we see those actions from the first list…generosity, lending freely, scattering gifts to the poor. It’s a beautiful cycle, really. Again, that doesn’t guarantee wealth, but it is a case for wealth.

In either case, I cannot make it about the wealth or even about the lack of fear in my earthly circumstances. It’s solely about fearing and loving the Lord. I have to trust out of that, he will give me what I need when I need it. Furthermore, our eternal reward when all the rest of this fades away is what matters most.

Challenge for today: does your life reflect the qualities of those who fear the Lord?

He Seeks

March 8, 2012 by Amy 2 Comments

Since finishing the Bible a few weeks ago, I struggled to get back into a reading routine. I have a stack of probably 20 books I’ve queued to read and yet I couldn’t jump into them. But there’s this one book that has completely captured my attention and it was suggested by one of the ladies in our Bible in 90 Days accountability group. The Promised One: Seeing Jesus in Genesis.

I love Genesis. I’m almost certain it is one of my favorite books of the Bible. Once you start seeing the Bible for the story it is, the connections to Jesus and the full circle moments are astounding. For anyone that would say the Old Testament is unessential or antiquated I’d beg you to start reading. The intricacies that God planned out are just beautiful.

The Promised One’s first section was on the creation. I was shocked to see the similarities between the creation story and Jesus. Here are just a few:

Genesis	Reference to Jesus
In the beginning God created.	Jesus was the Word going out at creation and doing the work of creation Ps. 33:6 and John 1:1-3
The Spirit of God hovered over the emptiness before creation	The Spirit came upon Mary to conceive Luke 1:34-35
And there was light	Jesus is the great light Isa 9:2 and John 8:12
Let us make man in our images, after our likeness	Jesus is the exact representation of God Col 1:15 and Hebrews 1:3

The connections goes on through Genesis 1. I don’t want to list them all because I don’t want to spoil it. It’s such a rush looking these up and seeing them. Really seeing them. Of course I’d heard all of these in bits and pieces but to bring it all together like this is pretty amazing.

The one that really got me today was in the second section where we study the fall of man.

Genesis	Reference to Jesus
“They heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day.”	Luke 19:10 says Jesus came to seek and save that which was lost

Let that sink in for a moment. In the same way that God came looking for Adam and Eve in the garden, knowing they had done the one thing they weren’t supposed to, Jesus came into our world seeking us in our sin. He seeks us in our sin. Do you get that? He’s not a God that pushes us by the wayside when we do something wrong. He doesn’t leave us to figure it out on our own. He seeks us. Just like he said to Adam and Eve, he says “Where are you?” “What have you done?” Not to condemn us but to bring forth a confession in order to redeem us and bring us back to Him. Yes, I’ve heard this before but something stirred fresh inside me this morning when I thought again of his great love for me.

I don’t know why this just came to me, but Beth Moore’s sister has a powerful story of how God absolutely chased her down in the pit of alcoholism and redeemed her life. Whether it’s an addiction or indifference, he’s still seeking.

So here’s my challenge for today. Jesus is walking with you. He wants to talk to you. He’s seeking you out just as you are. Answer him.

Marriage, Fashion and Healing

February 13, 2012 by Amy 4 Comments

I couldn’t call this simply a weekend recap. So much stuff this weekend! If my last few weekends have been quiet and around-the-house type weekends, the last 3 days have been quite the opposite. Each day we had something pretty big and I can’t wait to tell you! Hang on, because this is a long one!!

MarriedLife Live

Friday night Scott and I attended the MarriedLife Live event at our church. It was less conference and more a night out for married couples in the church. We had a live band, dessert and coffee and we did hear from our family pastor. He talked about seasons of marriage and how some bad seasons tear couples apart and others are drawn together. To avoid the former, we should store up in the good times, just as Joseph did in Egypt, knowing a famine was coming. I felt like this was especially appropriate for us as the last year or two has generally been a good season for our marriage but I know the adoption will test us. Right now is the time to build up our marriage, not only when we’re trying to salvage it.

We also did an exercise where each of us had to fill out what we wanted each other to do and say at four times during the day: morning, saying goodbye for the day, saying hello and going to bed. I have to say it was eye-opening. We rarely do anything like that and really appreciated knowing what Scott expects and desires.

Be Red Hot

Saturday morning I attended the Be Red Hot Women’s conference at Dani’s church to support her as she led a break-out session. I was completely blessed by the main speaker Branda Polk. The conference was a diving board off the verse about not being lukewarm but either hot or cold. We want to be red hot in our faith.

One thing she hit on that I hope she doesn’t mind that I share is the thought that the Bible says we ought to do all things unto God. But how do my menial tasks mean anything to Him? Isn’t it only big people doing big things for God that He treasures? She likened it to our children picking dandelions and giving it to us as a gift of love. Practically, they are giving us a weed but because it is done unto us in love, it is a treasure. Isn’t that an awesome thought?

Dani rocked her fashion session. She started out speaking to the heart of the matter. Does God even want us to spend time on how we look? Yes! He cares about all things and the way we present ourselves on the outside can say something about what He’s done on the inside. It also says something about how we feel about the people around us. I know Scott always notices when I dress up more for work than I do him. That’s sending a message, true or not, that I care more for what they think than what he thinks. However, if our vanity and pride are keeping us occupied and unable to give like He requires, it’s a problem!

(top right photo, credit to Sherry Smith)

She also went over the top trends for the year, how she builds her closet and took time to dress up a few folks with accessories she had bought. I even got to help on stage for a hot second to share her Sneaky Jacket Trick. She did a fabulous job and I think everyone was ready for a full day conference just with Dani. I know if there is anything I know about styling, it is all from her instruction over the past 14 years we’ve been friends. Those blue shoes I have on in that pic are results of an email from Dani…"buy these and this is what you wear with it” (that yellow shirt is my one of my Old Navy shirts)!

Testimony

Fast forward through Saturday family time, Sunday church, dinner and nap and we headed to my parents’ and sister’s church to hear my sister give her testimony. One day I want to take the time and give you all the intricate details about what happened but the gist of it is this.

Heather has had a sleeping disorder her whole life. Without medication, she always wanted to sleep. Like, she would go to bed at 7 on a Friday night, get up at 1 the next afternoon and then could take a nap at 4. She finally was diagnosed at 20 and got some pills ($600 a month!) that would keep her awake all day. However, my mom would have to call her every single morning over and over and OVER to get her to answer the phone long enough for her to take the pills so she would wake up an hour or two later. It was exhausting and frustrating.

During the past few years, she had also started playing World of Warcraft video game and found herself addicted. Addicted to a video game? Yep! I remember having the girls’ family birthday here at the house the year before last and she came in with her laptop, hooked it up and was playing through the birthday party. She was playing every chance she got.

Well, her church did a 40 day fast last January and God called her to fast her video game. She did and as she described it, went through physical withdrawals. Towards the end of the 40 days, God was calling me to do the Daniel Fast (I mention Heather’s healing vaguely in the post). I had two different dreams about her just days before I started and I knew that I was to fast and pray for Heather. Heather had given me her laptop so she wouldn’t play it and I prayed over her laptop during the fast. Yes, I laid hands on a laptop! I can’t tell you the power I felt when I touched it. My heart broke and my spirit was completely burdened.

Three days before the end of her 40 days and Heather woke up on her own at 5:30am. The next day she woke up again. The next day was the end of the fast and God told Heather not to take her pills anymore. That same day, as I closed my fast, God told me that Heather was free from her video game if she chose to be. He wouldn’t force her, but if she wanted to walk away, she was free. It’s been 352 days now and she hasn’t take a pill and she is free from her addiction to the game. God be praised! It’s been amazing to watch her flourish in the last year and I’m so thankful for God’s healing and Heather’s decision to obey.

So, wow! Gold star if you read all that! My heart is so full from the weekend. God is awesome and my church, family and friends are more than I could ask.

Top Ten Tuesday: Jesus Lays the Smack Down

February 7, 2012 by Amy 8 Comments

Fig Tree (credit)

I haven’t done much updating this time around, but I have stuck with the Bible in 90 Days reading schedule since November. We just crossed (ha) from the Old Testament to the New Testament over the weekend. And can I just say that Jesus is CRACKING. ME. UP. I know! It sounds so strange on the surface but seriously, Jesus told ’em like it was and boy howdy, sometimes I think he got pretty frustrated and it’s hilarious to read. Or maybe I’m just an overly sarcastic person and reading it that way. I don’t know, a few ladies in my reading group found one of them funny too so maybe you’ll agree. Read this and you decide.

I’ll say by introduction that in Matthew, we go through Jesus’ lineage, John the Baptist, Jesus’ birth, and His first teachings but it gets really interesting about Chapter 7 when we start seeing Him interact with the Pharisees and Sadducees, as well as his disciples. He doesn’t mince words.

1. He starts out easy on them in Matthew 7:5 "How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye." I read that "You hypocrite" more like "You HYPOCRITE!" Can’t you feel his frustration at their hypocrisy? It’s a wonder He didn’t turn them into a pillar of salt that instant.

2. He does something similar in Matthew 22:29 when he says "You are in error because you do not know the Scripture or power of God." I find this funny because the Sadducees He was talking to certainly should have known the Scriptures but were incorrect in many of their beliefs. You know how when someone is lying and is getting everyone to believe them but then the one that knows the truth come in and says so and everyone’s like, "Oh". That’s what this is for me. Total smack-down.

3. Matthew 8:26 This is when Jesus and his disciples are on a boat and it’s about to capsize and Jesus is asleep downstairs. They go get him and his response? "You of little faith, why are you so afraid?" Basically I read that as "You guys are a bunch of scaredy cats!"

4. In Matthew 12:5 the Pharisees are trying to trap Jesus about doing good on the Sabbath. In the middle of his response, Jesus says, "Or haven’t you read in the Law that the priests on Sabbath duty in the temple desecrate the Sabbath and yet are innocent?" I love that "or haven’t you read…" I just imagine a teacher saying, "You would know that if you’d done your homework!"

5. In Mark 7:9 the Pharisees ask why his disciples didn’t wash their hands since it broke tradition of the elders and Jesus response? "You have a fine way of setting aside the commands of God in order to observe your own traditions." Bam! I feel some neck rolling with that "fine way".

6. In Matthew 16, Jesus was trying to talk in code about the Pharisees being like yeast. The disciples do not get it in the least and start discussing how they didn’t have any bread so Jesus responds, "You of little faith, why are you talking among yourselves about having no bread?…How is it you don’t understand that I was not talking to you about bread?" I can just imagine some eye rolling about here. FUNNY.

7. Matthew 16:23 "Get behind me Satan" Mm-mm. Power!

8. In Matthew 17:17 a demon-possessed boy is brought to Jesus that the disciples could not heal. His response? "You unbelieving and perverse generation…How long shall I put up with you?" I imagine a great big sigh right here.

9. In Matthew 21:19 Jesus is walking by a fig tree and gets aggravated because there is no fruit on it "May you never bear fruit again!" Hmph! Take that, tree! The best part is the tree really does shrivel up and die.

10. This has to be my favorite. In Matthew 15:15 Peter asks Jesus to explain a parable and Jesus’ response is simply, "Are you still so dull?"

OK, maybe it’s my sarcastic sense of humor but, if you read those passages in context I find Jesus to be quite entertaining. You can’t get past "are you still so dull?" without a giggle. If nothing else, I love how he exerts so much truth and power to put them in their place. Then again, that probably means he has to be asking why I’m so dull on the regular.

So what’s your conclusion? Does Jesus hit your funny bone?

Read more Top Ten Tuesday posts at ohAmanda.com

How to Stop Negative Thinking

January 31, 2012 by Amy 10 Comments

Source: imgfave.com via Jennifer on Pinterest

We all have negative thoughts. Many of them are untrue and lead to fear, anxiety, self-doubt, discouragement, even jealousy.

Perhaps you’ve looked in the mirror and said, “Look at that – you’ve gotten so fat. You’re so lazy. And unhealthy. Really, you’re just not worth much at all.”

Or, you hear a sound at night and figure that it must be someone in the house. How far down the hall are they? What kind of weapon do they have? Which door should I run for and what neighbor should I go to? How will I get the kids out? By then, fear has taken over, your heart is racing, you’re sweating and trying to figure out how to dial 911.

Or perhaps your friend says something and it makes you think, “I don’t think she likes me. I bet she doesn’t even want to be with me right now. I am just so stupid. Why do I have friends at all?”

I would like to say all of these are exaggerated examples but they’re not. I’ve had versions of all of them. But they’re not the truth and we shouldn’t dwell on lies. 2 Corinthians 10:5 says

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

We have to take our thoughts captive before they spiral us into fear, anxiety, self-doubt, discouragement, or jealousy. If we are able to capture them at the start, we don’t have to go down these paths.

I recently learned a practical way to take these thoughts captive that I’d like to share. Think about your mind like a computer. Imagine that your thoughts are like surfing the Internet. Sometimes when we are browsing, we come upon a site with pop-ups. Do we ever look at these pop-ups? No. We simply ignore them or close them. We know they are garbage and they’re not worth our time to investigate. In fact, some of us go to extensive measures to make sure these pop-ups don’t show up in the first place.

That’s what we have to do with our negative thoughts. We don’t have to look at them, examine them, read them, click on them. Don’t follow these paths that lead to destructive lies. When a negative thought comes in our mind, we simply close that thought and move to something else. As an alternative, speak the truth if it’s an outright lie or find the good in the situation, even if there is bad. Listen, I know there is enough bad in the world to think all day on it, but we don’t have to. We can choose to think on the good parts.

Philippians 4:8 says

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

If the thought that comes up isn’t true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, or praiseworthy, close it!

Prayer

January 12, 2012 by Amy 5 Comments

I love, love, loved this video from Beth Moore today on prayer. I know, like you, there are so many people around me hurting and sick. They need us on our knees interceding for them. I have been so lax at this and I admit it. This video really inspired me today to do a better job and I hope it does the same for you.

Watch live streaming video from livingproofministries at livestream.com

She has a post that goes along with this where folks are leaving their ideas that work. The only thing I can contribute is that writing my prayers out has helped tremendously. It’s been awesome to look back and see where God answered. Not being boastful, though, I have not written them down on more days than I have.

If you feel inclined, I’d love for you to leave any prayer requests, or even just something unspoken, in the comments so I can pray for you specifically.