spiritual stuff

Today is Day 40.  I did it.  I survived.  One CAN live without Twitter and Facebook for almost 6 weeks.  Someone asked me today if I was glad I did it.  I answered with an emphatic yes.  Any member of either of those sites knows how time-consuming they can be.  Generally it’s not a bad thing and a lot of times, a good thing. But we all know too much of a good thing can be a bad thing.  And bad things aren’t good.

Melissa left this comment today on her blog about me “you have the most balance of pretty much anyone I know in your life – with kids and every other aspect!”  Well this is part of it.  A lot of times I’m NOT balanced.  Many of us aren’t in a few, small areas.  My mom had a habit of calling me and Heather out “You’re addicted!” she would exclaim.  Heather and I would roll our eyes and give her the good ‘ol “Mooom!”  But as usual, Mom is usually right.  It’s so easy for us to slip into little addictions.  Good things gone bad.

This blog (go read it, it’s good!) from Beth Moore was perfect timing for today.  It’s all about letting the little things master you.  Really, I’m not sure anyone could have written a better post for today.  Because these last 40 days haven’t just been about our church and the five minute devotional they asked us to do and all the wonderful things I learned.  No, for me, the 40 days was about taking a step back from something good on its way to becoming something bad.  At the end of the day, it’s all about moderation.

And all that said, I still missed it, I’ve been doing my countdown and I’m very happy to return tomorrow morning.   So follow me if you’re not.

What??

Balance!

Moderation!

It’s all good!

Not a big fan of the video but the song is great. Definitely check out Shane & Shane if you’ve never. They’re even more amazing live.

A friend from our old church (I still hate saying that. I feel like a traitor!  Maybe I should say our last church) called me yesterday. They decided to leave the church and were asking questions about North Rock Hill.  As I was talking, I realized just how much I’ve changed in three months. And maybe it’s not that I’ve changed. Or maybe it is. I don’t know. I know my mindset has changed from say 6 months ago. “Church” isn’t the same for me anymore. And I don’t just mean my Sunday mornings are different. Because generally they’re the same.  But my view on God’s church, His kingdom and how we fit in have most definitely changed. And I’m so thankful to be a part of North Rock Hill.  And I’m even more thankful for what God is showing us and how He’s changed our hearts.  And when I think about the Lord, how He’s moved in these past few years and especially these past few months…how He saved me, how He raised me, how He filled me with the Holy Ghost, how He healed me to the uttermost, how He picked me and turned me around and set my feet on solid ground…it makes me want to shout! Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus! Lord, You’re worthy of all the glory and all the honor and all the praise!

I wrote this post a few days ago after reading the second chapter of Crazy Love.    I had PMS and yes, it’s a bit dramatic but I do mean every word.  I had titled this post as “Crazy Love – Chapter 2” but looking back, it basically speaks to what I got out of the whole book.  Not everyone will take from it what I did but it just met me in a specific place and helped me with a specific fear.  Between our church’s new direction, this book and the rest of my personal studies, I’m ready to take the next step with my journey with God.  I have no idea what that is but it’s ok.  He does.  And even better?  He’ll tell me.

Chapter 2 of this book was basically “life is short, live for God”.  It’s a tactic, for lack of a better phrase, that many pastors use to remind people that tomorrow isn’t promised.  That your promise to get right with God “some day” may never come around.  It’s true and it works.

But here I am as a Christian.  I’ve given my heart to Christ.  I try to live for him and yet I’m still scared.  Because I really get that.  I get that I may not have tomorrow.  But in some twisted way, I’m scared to say what I should say or do what I should do because I’m scared I’ll be the next Stan or the next Brooke or the next school shooting victim with that poetic ending.  Their last words were about God and bless her heart, look what a life she led!  If I post a song, or write a post or have a conversation with someone…what if it’s just poetic enough to be my last?  What if God says well done, my child and takes me home just so He’ll have that perfect speech at my funeral and others will be saved?

Part of me wants that.  Part of me wants my life to mean something.  For others to know Him because I did.  But another part says forget that!  I want my life!  I want my kids!  I want my husband!  I want to be the one to take care of them!

Screw. that. God.

And God says it’s a lot to ask isn’t it?  To let go of what you love for others?  To sacrifice yourself for another’s soul?  To give it up for a higher calling?

And sitting in a car line, I look out the window and I think maybe God had this conversation with Christ one day a long time ago.  Can you do it?  Can you give up your life for them?  Will you let Me be the one to take care of them?  Will you say yes to Me and no to you?  Will you be the sacrifice?

And he said yes.

Christ said yes.

And at the end of the day I have to realize that no matter what, I’m going to have that poetic ending.  Because I’ve dedicated my life to the fact that Christ said yes.  I sing about him.  I write about  him.  I read about Him.  I teach about Him.  I live for Him.  And it better mean something when I die.  And it better be poetic.  And it better be life changing for someone.  Because if not, my life has been a waste.  But it won’t be.  Because when Christ said yes, it mattered.  It matters to me. And it’s mattered to millions of others.  In fact, whether they know it or not, it matters to every single individual.  And my death, when it comes, early or late, soon or not, it will matter.  It’s coming.  Whether we like to admit it or not.  And I can choose to go quietly or I can choose to live a life in such a way that

the pastor

won’t even

know where

to start.

So from today, I choose to spit in the face of Satan and his fear.  To make Christ famous.  To make my story as poetic as possible.

Just to make Satan mad.

Because I can.

And I will.

So take that.

I say yes.

Jen at DailyMishMash.com opened up a great forum for discussing the legalization of same-sex marriages.  She’s supports it and was trying to understand the argument against it.  It turned out to be a great conversation between people from the far left to the far right and all in between.  I don’t want to take away from her post or extract only part of the conversation but here is a snippet of the first of several comments from me:

Wow, can of worms here.
I’m against gay marriage so I guess I’ll try to do my best. I’m no scholar. I’ve never had training in seminary or anything. But I’ll try to explain my point of view.
First off, I think that sign up there is wrong. It is taken out of context and it’s sad to see when things like that pop up. It was part of the Law for the Israelites and in fact at that time they did follow that. And more than that, it was part of a list of many sins against marriage not just that one. Since Christ came we are no longer under the law but Christ is still interested in the state of our heart and in fact, in the state of our marriage. There are a few things he was clear on. Lust is a sin of the heart. There are many sexual sins that arise from that such as promiscuity, adultery and yes, homosexuality. The thing of it is, we have a far greater problem for marriages than homosexuality. When you want to stop masturbation and change your life, masturbationaddiction.com can help you.

However, this post is about that so the reason I believe that legalized gay marriages are wrong is because I believe that our nation is and should be based on God’s desires for us. He desires that marriages should be between a man and woman. The ultimate issue here is not about gay marriages but about how much God this country will let in.

Go see the rest of this comment and many other opinions here.

I won The Shack from @scrollmotion on Twitter.  It’s a full-form book as an iPhone app.  Yep, I read the entire book on my phone. 

And at first I didn’t know quite what to think.  Honestly, up until this morning I thought the whole thing had really happened.  Or at least someone thought it had happened.  And I didn’t know how to fit all of that into my theology.  Yes, I can be gullible and naive like that.  And if you’ve read it, you probably know that the foreword is written as if it’s all real.  That Mack exists and his friend Willie wrote the book for him.  It’s quite deceiving if you ask me. I had not read one review on the book before, during or after reading the book so I was just sitting with what I had read.

I believe in God.  I believe in God in three persons.  I believe that he wants a relationship with us through his son Jesus Christ.  In fact, I’ve been challenged lately on just how intimately he wants to know us.  So much of that part of the book rang true for me.  I believe he CAN leave a letter in someone’s mailbox if he wanted.  I believe he CAN transform a shack and make someone walk on water.  But there were some things that bothered me.

God as a woman?  Nope.  He is our Father.  God is never disappointed in me?  Um, no.  He flooded the whole earth because he was sick of his creation screwing up.  Mack’s father in Heaven?  I doubt he had made a conversion in his drunken, poisoned stupor (I know I’m going out on a limb on that one, but it was just something I questioned).  God not sending any of us to hell?  Definitely not.  All of us as a unique light?  Possibly. I don’t know what Heaven is like but that sounds a little New Age for me.

So yeah, I was questioning things.

After this morning, I realized that the ideas in the conversations were real but the author used a fictional story to tell his conversations with God.  And I can appreciate that. I actually agreed with a lot of what he said.  But not all of it.

So do I recommend the book?

I think so.  I definitely don’t recommend all of its theology.  What I do recommend is if you read it, please, please, please use it as only a springboard to challenge what you believe.  Go back to the Bible and find the truth for yourself.  For that matter, ask God yourself what He thinks.  That nagging feeling I had about it should have been my warning sign.  But with many truths present, it’s hard to distinguish.  I’m reminded of the Da Vinci Code.  That was a fantastic book.  I highly recommend that as a read.  But I don’t recommend you glean your theology from it.  If nothing else, read The Shack so you are an informed reader.  I hate when people put down something they know nothing about.  It’s just like this Obama speech.  People were up in arms about it.  Lots of water but no fire.  Know what you’re debating.  Have an open mind.  Be able to actually converse about it.

All in all, I’m glad I read it.  I think if nothing else, I’m reminded one more time that God wants an intimate relationship with me.  He’s a good God. And He’s especially fond of me.