Amy J. Bennett

I’m really bad at plants.  Emma got me a plant for Mother’s day two years ago and said, “Don’t kill this one.” It’s why this gardening thing is so fascinating to me. It feels nothing short of a miracle when I pick something out of the garden and then feel comfortable enough to actually stick it in my mouth.

One thing that seems most elusive is growing a plant from a seed. For my garden, I got starter plants. I figure the worst part is behind me and I had a good running start to the whole business.

There was one plant though that I couldn’t find a starter plant for, so I had to buy the seeds. I hemmed and hawed over buying them, sure it would be a waste of money. *I* couldn’t do that. I had failed before I even started.

I broke down the other week and bought the seeds. I let them sit on the counter for a while. Why even try? Do I want to feel like a failure? I don’t need any more confirmation that I can’t keep a plant alive, much less start a new one.

I got brave a few days ago and stuck the seeds an inch of soil in an extra pot I had. I watered it, making sure it was wet like I’d heard. And then I sort of gave up hope. It will never come up, but just in case I’ll water it some. At least I can say I tried. I’ll just prove what I know though…even when I try, I fail.

Lo and behold, two days later green stuff started coming up. And with a vengeance. I’d go to sleep and the next morning it’d be another inch higher. I could have sworn it was magic beans I’d planted. Magic beans that actually grew when *I* planted and watered them.

Do you ever feel like that about something in life? You’re just sure you’re going to fail? You’ve always failed in the past and you’d really like for it to go well but you just know you’re not good enough? Sometimes we’ve failed before we’ve even tried. Most of the time, our efforts are only half-hearted. We try just enough to check a box that we did it, but only to prove that it wasn’t worth trying to begin with.

But can I suggest you can do it? Whatever your “it” is. Sure, you might need to put a little more effort in or learn something new or get some help but you can. You really can.

OK, can we talk about my garden?  The last four weeks have been producing nothing but large question marks over my head.  The garden.  It keeps me humble.  While I am SO GLAD I planted this year, not everything is coming up roses, er, zucchini.  Let’s take a look.

This is the before, exactly one month ago:

 

And this is 30 days later:

So yes.  There’s some growing going on.  Let’s talk about the good growing first.

As you can see the broccoli there on the left is kind of out of control.  Zoomed in it sort of looks like a forest.

You can see from the side here that the tomato plants at the fence are all getting pretty big too. 

We’ve got some blooms where some tomatoes will come in and that is so exciting.

You can barely see it but the parsley just beside the tomatoes is huge, the lettuce is doing well and even the marigold down in there is flourishing. I’ve had a few salads from the lettuce and used fresh parsley in my meatloaf last week (WHO AM I, PEOPLE?)

My favorite part about the whole garden so far is my jalapeño peppers.  They’re just so cute and I can’t wait to stuff them with cheese and wrap them in bacon.

Now let’s talk about the bad.  This right bed is pretty empty, huh?

The only thing we can figure out is that either I put too much fertilizer in or didn’t mix it up well enough because all the leaves are either turning brown or it’s totally killing the plants.  I killed the zucchini, cilantro, marigold, and basil plants and my green bell pepper is not far behind.  Since the other bed is nearly identical aside from the fertilizer and because of the symptoms, fertilizer burn is only thing I can figure.  I’m planning to remove the soil and mix in fresh since we have a few bags left over.  I think the whole thing is odd because I thought I used much, much less than he recommended.

In the left bed, the squash plant is not doing well either.

I have no idea what its problem is.

So overall, I have had *something* to eat from it already and it looks like I will have plenty more but it’s a little rough looking.

It’s been amazing though how much God has shown to me through the garden, even through the bad things.  Just today I finally decided to rip out the dying basil and zucchini and I just thought that’s God right there.  Sometimes we have things in our life that we keep tending and tending, hoping that it will find some life but eventually we know they just need to be ripped out and we need to move on.  Last week when my brain was going so crazy and I knew parts of the garden weren’t going well, he reminded just how much I don’t have it together.  Even when I do things in the moment that I feel are right, I just don’t know it all and can’t predict how it’s going to go. We do the right things and it still turns out poorly.  God is good, isn’t he?  I love when he can make all things, even the bad things, be for our good.  I might not get to eat squash casserole, but I’m drinking living water from my garden and I don’t think it’d be a stretch to say that’s priceless.