Archives for February 2006

Not sure how I feel tonight. Much better than last night I guess. Scott and I went back to the mall this afternoon without the kids. I went and got my hair cut and we decided for Scott to go with me. He made some exchanges and shopped for clothes (woah). He really likes the sweaters I picked out for him yesterday and now he seems actually interested in finding cool clothes–meaning not just jeans and long-sleeved t-shirts and tennis shoes. He actually bought a jacket and pants and Gap. Very unlike him. Anyway, so that was fun again.

We came home because today is IL’s anniversary and we sent them to dinner at a local German restaurant. Scott went to work and Heather came over. We went out to Moe’s which was not too much fun because the line was SO long. Once we sat down it was alright though.

So we decided to brave a couple stores so I could find some shoes for my dress on Tuesday. I had bought some while Scott and I were out but they were $80 and they didn’t wow me which if I’m going to spend $80, they better wow me. So of course, I go to this store that I like to call the hooker store. It’s not really and I think the clothes are cute, but they are definitely clubbing type clothes. And I find THE shoes on sale for $18!! They look awesome with the dress which means I’ve gotten my entire outfit for Tuesday night for $48!! I’m a little worried because I tried the dress on tonight for Heather and she seemed a little shocked at how short the dress was. I have never been one to wear short dresses of any length so I’m already wary of wearing it. But Scott liked it a lot when I tried it on for him so I guess that is all that matters. I don’t want to look trashy though. Just hot. Hopefully it will come out that way.

I chatted with G tonight. He had mentioned that he wanted someone to buy him some software at Sam’s and my parents were going tonight so I asked him. It was a short, easy, to the point conversation. And it was good to be able to talk to him, just as friends. It actually seemed normal.

I got all my cleaning done last night. I really need to start doing that every Friday night. It was so nice to wake up Saturday and the only thing I needed to do was vacuum and do laundry. I know flylady recommends taking your Saturdays off from cleaning. I really need to do some flinging, etc.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/02/11/273/

I completely forgot to mention Scott and I went out to “lunch” yesterday. We actually had Mom watch the kids, had lunch at home and then went shopping for him an outfit for Tuesday’s dinner. He bought a shirt and tie, two sweaters, a blazer and two pair of shoes. Definitely the most dress stuff we’ve bought him probably in years. I went and exchanged a pair of jeans which by the way I got the wrong thing AGAIN so I have to go back. But we got some Starbucks at the mall and I made my hair appt for today. We had SUCH a good time. I can’t explain it. We held hands walking through the mall. We rolled our eyes at each other when the guy at Belk was taking forever. We helped each other with the packages. He made me laugh on the way up there. It was like old times yesterday. For just 2 hours, I forgot about everything and it was just me and him and it felt really good.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/02/11/272/

I hate for all these posts to be so self-centered, egotistical and shallow, but I have to write or I might explode. I’m in one of those blah, staring, get-nothing done kind of moods. So I said that my tan went over “well” at work yesterday. I didn’t mention that G said absolutely nothing on the matter, not even to chime in on the banter amongst the other men. He never said anything about it snowing yesterday. He said nothing about everything. He barely even looked at me. OK, this is what I wanted, right? I even mentioned to Scott that he had not said a word. I never asked him what he thought, scared of what he might say. He knew I had gotten one on Monday. It even crossed my mind that it wasn’t what he expected and I looked crappy and he was avoiding saying anything to not hurt my feelings. So I left it alone. Today, he writes me a simple email basically saying someone had asked him about how I looked yesterday (apparently it IS the talk of the office today according to G) and part of his response was that I was more gorgeous than normal, so much so that he couldn’t even talk to me.

Woah.

That will send you for a tailspin. Given that the past couple of days I’ve been thinking that he was totally and completely over me, that was sort of a shocker. I’m back into that torn phase. I so want to talk to him. My ego wants fed. My romantic inclinations wants to build another fairytale conversation and situation. My curiosity wants satisfied. It was my whiff of alcohol to an alcoholic. And of course Scott is working nights this entire weekend and G told me he has no plans for the weekend. Very difficult not to reach out.

So Scott and I get into this drawn out conversation about how what G and I say is wrong only because of G and I’s history and what we say would be no big deal if it was between, say, A & I at work. And he finally gave me a big hit in the stomach when he said it was like if him and AW had a conversation like we did. AW was a girl that grew up in the house beside him. They kissed “in secret” several times as teenagers. She liked him. She showed up at his window at night when we were dating trying to show him her recent breast reduction scar in her nightgown. She left her window open while she changed clothes and he was walking his dog. I left a bad message for her in a mutual friend’s yearbook (yes, I know this was high school!!) and we had it out. It’s been awkward ever since. I was extremely jealous I guess you could say. I knew that Scott wouldn’t leave me for her but I really didn’t like her coming on to him. I can’t tell you how painful that time was for me. I lost weight, had stomach issues, cried over it. It was the drama at the time. And then when Scott said it was like that. That if she came around today and came on to him and he enjoyed it and wanted to talk to her and did talk to her. Met her for coffee and paid for it. How would I feel? Does it make a difference that they had a “history”? That hurt. It would matter and it would matter a lot. She couldn’t say the same thing that another girl could. I would watch over his shoulder every time he sent her an email. I wouldn’t trust her. And that was hard to hear. Are G&I the same? Am I making Scott feel as crappy? Do I want to hear it in the same way as he enjoyed hearing stuff from her? Are G&I more than that? If so, that is even worse than AW & him and that makes me feel even worse.

And I’m back to feeling frustrated because simple conversation don’t seem to be so simple. I still have to restrain myself sometimes and conversations are not as “easy” as they once were. Why can’t it just be a conversation and that’s it???? Why does it have to be inappropriate to say certain things when if someone else said it it would be no big deal? Ugh!!!

Our radio station had a interesting segment on Office Spouses.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/02/10/271/

So the airbrushed tan caused some drama at work yesterday. Didn’t really think of it but apparently the thought of a girl airbrushing me while nude is a good thing to guys and the tan apparently looked good. I was so embarrassed I couldn’t even finish my Krispy Kreme doughnut at breakfast. I didn’t even say anything about it but the guys started asking me questions and like a doe-doe honestly answered. So yeah. Apparently a tan is a good thing, people. It’s still pretty dark even though it’s only supposed to last 5-7 days. Wondering if I need to get another one on Monday.

It actually snowed here yesterday morning. The neighbor’s roof was almost covered with a layer when I went to work. But it was short-lived and wasn’t even snowing once I got into NC on the way to work.

Scott is working the entire weekend and I really need to get my hair done and find shoes and he needs an outfit too. Not even to mention the house needs cleaned.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/02/10/270/

What the heck did Travis do on the Bachelor last night?? I can not believe he got rid of Sarah. I totally did not see that one coming. I really thought going into the rose ceremony it was any of the other three. Now I’m confused as to where his head is and I’m sort of thinking he is liking Sarah from Tennesse just because she is the most down to earth. But I’m not seeing much hope for any of the other three once they leave this. Not seeing any Trista and Ryan’s yet.

So I got a airbrushed tan yesterday. I was SO scared when I left there. My face was so dark, my teeth were shining. I didn’t even want anyone to see me. Scott saw me and said, I didn’t want you THAT tan. So I was really bummed all evening but I finally got my shower and most of it came off. And now, I have a nice tan left. My face doesn’t even looked like it got any which is good to me. I prefer my face mostly natural. My hands seem a little dark but I’m really happy with the rest. Very nice and even and not orange-y at all. I will probaby get it done again next week before we go out. No one warned me that the spray was so crazy cold though. The lady was really, really nice and professional and I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all being completely nude in front of her. Now, I have to psych myself up for a Brazilian wax. Yikes!

Lexi is cutting a tooth. Just her 7th one. Bottom left right beside the center ones. That would explain the irritability lately and maybe even the fever. She has slept through the night the past two nights too. Although I can’t say the same for Emma. She keeps getting up and wanting to get in our bed or wanting me in her room. It is VERY tiring and seemingly uncalled for. I can never figure out that she needs anything except that she just wants to be close to someone. And when you have a queen size bed and a 3 year old kicking you in the back, you just don’t want to snuggle with them at the moment. Scott actually gets pretty irritated and usually takes her back to bed when she falls asleep but I am so tired and wanting sleep, sometimes I would just rather have her in our bed.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/02/07/269/

Lexi’s cold has gotten worse. I think it’s down in her chest now. Not sure if I should take her to the dr or not. I had left over antibiotics from December that don’t expire until next year and some breathing treatment stuff so I’m loading her down. Not sure if I should be giving it to her but I figure the dr wouldn’t do much else. So I didn’t go to church. We went to Mom’s to eat though and they let me take a nap. I didn’t get much of one but I did get an hour or two break in a big comfy bed. Mom still takes care of me 🙂 That’s exactly what I needed. I was stressed to the max last night. Had a little breakdown. Too many people needing too many things from me. So I holed up in my bedroom and watched an online sermon from my old pastor. It helped bunches and Lexi slept through the night last night so today I’m feeling much better.

Oh, yeah, go Steelers, right?? I don’t really watch football but since my parents grew up in Penn/MD, I’ve always felt a need to support them too. Since Lexi was sick and I didn’t go to church, I got to see the whole thing. Sort of boring for me and really bad half time but I did enjoy the Brown and Bubbly song! Is that really pathetic I wouldn’t mind hearing that again on the radio? The guy dancing at the end was so funny. And I loved the baby horse commerical. I literally had tears in my eyes at the end. OK, so I said I was emotional last night. Did I mention I did get my period the other day which would explain all the emotions I’ve been going through the past couple of days?

Grey’s was good but too medicine-y for me. Wished I could have had more stuff about them in there. Although I really liked Derek’s line, waiting for it to pass. And I guess Alex and Izzy getting back together was sort of a “development”.

Can’t wait for Bachelor tonight. Seems like the families are going to reveal some good stuff.

Oh, and you can go to Google Video to see all the Superbowl commercials.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/02/06/268/

OK, things got at least a little better since yesterday morning. Scott woke up early to help me with the kids. But I was really wiped out so I went ahead and signed off of work at lunch yesterday. We ended up eating a late lunch out with Mom and then I took a two hour nap and then went to the gym. Yeah, that was nice. I felt mucho better after that. So I cleaned a small amount last night and this morning. Of course, you can’t tell a bit now. At lunch, D&D and family came over. The boys stayed with the kids to play while D&I went shopping for our V-Day dresses.

We had a really tough time finding dresses actually. Scott requested a short dress and apparently short, hot dresses aren’t in style now. Everything was right below the knee with some funky hem or really long like for prom. I finally found one in the junior department of Dillard’s of all places. It’s brown with a plunge v-neck, has some gold sequins at the bust line and then has some gathered fabric out of that and then it’s just straight down from the rest of the dress. It’s pretty short, falling 6-8?? inches above my knee. Best news of all? It was on sale for $30!! We went looking for shoes for me too and I found a pair of Guess shoes that were PERFECT but they were $95. I think I still might get them seeing that I only paid $30 for the dress. So we of course bought more stuff than the dresses. I got a pair of dress black pants, another pair of my new favorite Limited Jeans, two HOT pair of heels and a tank. One pair of the shoes are slip-on heels brown suede with some detail on the front. The other is zebra print with some leather on the top. D gasped so loud when she saw them on me that everyone in the store thought something had happened and looked at her. Needless to say she bought a pair of them too. So D had no luck finding a dress at the mall. We went to every store possible. On the way home we stopped at Ross just to make sure and she found a dress for $12.99, people! That is insane. It’s a cute strapless black dress with sequins at the top and these fluffy things on the bottom. She says she’s going to keep looking just in case but it was really cute on her.

So while I was at the mall, Scott called and said Emma had gone off with in-laws and Lexi was burning up with a fever. He gave her medicine and by the time I had gotten home, she was no longer hot and seemed ok. Not sure what that was about.

Oh, and I didn’t give Lexi any M&M’s before bed last night and she got up for just a minute at midnight last night and didn’t get up like she had been the couple nights before that so now I know no sugar before bed! I guess I learned that one the hard way!!

Scott went to S.’s house to watch Ultimate Fighting. Which, if I realized was not really just a guything, I would have asked Heather to stay with the kids while I went with him. Not that I care about Ultimate Fighting, I just thought it would be fun to hang out with everyone.

I’m guessing I don’t go to church tomorrow since Lexi had a fever. Which is a bummer. I’m stuck at home again. I really, really need to clean the house really well tonight. I know I would feel tons better in the morning. I’ll have to see if I can muster up the energy after I get off here.

By the way, there’s no real update with G…
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http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/02/04/267/

I am about to LOSE MY MIND. Lexi was up again at 12:30-2!! I had to bring her out to the living room and we watched tv for a little while, she drank some yogurt and just toddled around. She finally started laying down on the floor acting sleepy so I put her to bed about 2. And of course Emma had woken up and was with us. THEN, she woke up at 3 and we went through the same thing except I fell asleep in the recliner and she fell asleep in the floor. When Scott got home at 5am, we were still in the same places in the living room asleep. Emma had come out at 3 and had gone back to my bed and was still there. And they woke up at 8am! I am ill. I don’t want to work. I don’t want to fix breakfast. I’m not that tired I just need to get away!! Thank goodness it’s Friday. I think Mom’s coming to get the kids for a little while and Scott is off the rest of the weekend. I AM going to the gym today and tomorrow D & I are going shopping for our v-day dresses.

http://www.amyjbennett.com/2006/02/03/266/