Archives for January 2010

I Was Blind But Now I See

In small group we’re reading through John together.  It’s been great to read back through Jesus’ life and it always inspires awe when I read all the miracles.  But when I got to John 9:25 just now, I wanted shout and give a big fist pump for God.

“Whether he is a sinner or not, I don’t know.  One thing I do know, I was blind but now I see!”

Jesus had just healed a blind man and the Pharisees were convinced He was a sinner because he had healed on the Sabbath.  They continued to question the healed man and that was his response.  He didn’t know who this Jesus was but he believed he was from God because of the evidence that simply couldn’t be argued with.  I was blind but now I see.

There are moments when I question everything around me and I wonder if I’m making this all up. I wonder if God really is speaking to us about adoption.  I wonder if God really has been working in my life.  I wonder if that really is the Holy Spirit I hear.  But I go back to a statement that I can make that erases all doubt.

One thing I do know, I was deaf but now I hear

I was 5.  My mom noticed my hearing was deteriorating when I kept scooting closer and closer to the TV and asking for it to be turned up louder.  The teacher confirmed her suspicions when she said I kept asking to sit at the front of the class. A doctor’s visit confirmed I was losing my hearing and would need tubes in my ears.  My mom took me to our preacher for prayer and healing.  I don’t remember any of this but when we back to the doctor he said he didn’t understand it but I no longer needed tubes in my ears.

One thing I do know, I was deaf but now I hear.

I used to chuckle when we took the hearing test at school.  I wanted to tell the nurse that I had been healed.  Sometimes when I’m listening to music I whisper a little thankful prayer to God for healing me and allowing me to hear it.

I know some of those healing services are anything but holy.  I know healing doesn’t come to everyone.  I can’t explain it.

One thing I do know, I was deaf but now I hear.

Just like he healed the blind man, he healed this once hearing impaired girl. You can’t argue it, you can’t convince me otherwise, the evidence speaks for itself.  Even to me in my doubt.

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.”

Glory and thanks to God.  He’s real, y’all.

Yesterday, today and tomorrow

31 years ago I was born

29 years ago my only sibling was born

24 years ago I lived with several foster babies as siblings

11 years ago I got married

7 years ago I had my first child

5 years ago I had my second child

4 years and 358 days ago family and friends started asking when we were having another child

4 years and 358 days ago and several times since Scott said with great sarcasm he would never have another baby but I was welcome to adopt a 3 year old

3 years ago Emma started asking for a little brother

2.5 years ago I attended youth camp which featured Spur58

2 years ago I started following Aaron (Spur58’s lead singer) and Jamie Ivey’s blog

2 years ago and since then, Scott and I have been supporting Real Hope for Haiti, the place that the Ivey’s son and daughter was staying

2 years ago I started a blog that has since provided extra income each month

1 year ago and off and on I started secretly finding myself a little disappointed when I wasn’t pregnant each month

7 months ago we joined a church which had a heavy emphasis on adoption from the pastor down

2 months ago we made contact with one of our foster baby siblings

2 months ago I told my mom maybe we’d consider fostering a baby if I chose not to work after my contract ends at the end of 2010

1 month ago I watched on as our best friends adopted their first child

2 weeks ago Haiti had an earthquake

10 days ago I watched images come in, read reports from the Ivey’s of their son possibly coming home unexpectedly because of the earthquake and wondered how I could help, including adopting one of these sweet children with no home

1 week ago Life Unexpected debuted on TV, a show about a child who spent her life in foster care.  A show that I started a blog about.

1 week ago Scott says seriously “We should adopt a child from Haiti” and it stopped me in my tracks

6 days ago Friday Night Lights aired an episode where a character aborted her baby.  It affected me deeply and all I could think was she could have saved the baby’s life and given him/her up for adoption!

5 days ago we discuss adopting a child from Haiti with the kids.  They are excited.

4 days ago I do some research and find out we may have to be 35 years old before we can begin the process

3 days ago was Sanctity of Life Sunday

3 days ago our pastor preached “God’s grace is best seen by us”

2 days ago Scott, unbeknown to me, emailed our pastor about adoption

1 day ago I listened on American Idol as a teenager talked about getting lost in foster care his whole life and just wanted to be loved and it about broke my heart.  I turned to Scott and said we should adopt.  He doesn’t respond.

Today Scott forwarded me the email to our pastor about adoption and I realize he’s much more serious than even I thought

Right now these things that once seem unrelated suddenly seem like a web that is being weaved.

Both of us feel a little LOT unsure and maybe like we’re going crazy.  Actually Scott’s subject in his email was “HELP!!!”  I asked God if we should (who have the means, desire, etc) adopt and I’m pretty sure He laughed and said that was the stupidest question I ever asked Him (paraphrasing there).  Should we adopt?  Pretty sure it’s all over Scripture we should take care of orphans.

This kind of scares the crap out of me.  But God usually does.

As you know, this doesn’t just affect us.  It will affect everyone around us.  We’re not taking this lightly.  We don’t want to ignore what God might have been whispering for years.  But it would mean a lot of changes. A lot.  And I don’t know if we’re supposed to adopt from Haiti or this is just a way for us to take a serious look at adoption in general.  Or maybe this is just a bunch of random coincidences!  I don’t know!

Yesterday, today and tomorrow God knows so please pray He shows us clearly what (or what not) to do.

Cooking, I didn’t know I could love you

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The cooking is out of control in this house.  For the third week in a row, we only went out to eat one time a week.  And we’re not skimping on the meals at home.  I am WEARING OUT P-Dub‘s cookbook.  In fact, I ate a cinnamon roll for snack this afternoon, ate some leftover tomato soup for dinner and now have jalapeno poppers in the oven as a snack this evening.  Actually, they were meant for tomorrow but Scott and I just couldn’t wait 24 hours to have them so we cheated and made the filling for all of it but only cut up 4 of peppers.  In the span of a week, I’ve also made the chicken pot pie twice, corn bread and beans, blueberry cobbler, chocolate sheet cake and mocha brownies.

To say that you need to go buy the cookbook is an understatement.  You need to go buy it, do a happy dance and immediately drive to the grocery store for the ingredients to the tomato soup.  It is ridiculously easy and delicious.  Make the corn bread with it and dip it in the soup while you’re at it.  Oh and then have any one of the desserts.  But if it were me, I’d have some more mocha brownies.

I might just have to start a weekly update of my progress.

Oh, and the jalapeno thingies just came out and YUM!  That needs to be your appetizer!

Out.

of.

control.

Daily Peek

Speaking of growing up…thought I’d catch Lexi in some everyday shots just to remember…

Love how she crosses her legs. She loves to be quiet and watch out the window when Emma isn’t in the van.

All the pattern and color is so “Lexi”

She loves Mattie. Sometimes she says she wants to be a vet.

She loves her chicken and ketchup.

Posted via email from Amy’s posterous

Just Stop All This Growing Up, Missy

Emma (yelling from the bathroom after school one day): There’s this boy in my class that likes me….and I like him back.

Me: What’s his name?

Emma: Drew.

Later I find on a piece of paper where one of Emma’s friends has written about them liking each other. I think Lexi mentions that Emma has a boyfriend.

Me: Is Drew your boyfriend?

Emma: Maybe it’s true.  Would you let me?

Me: I think you’re a little young for a boyfriend (Like TWENTY YEARS too young!)

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Emma and I are in the van on the way to pick Lexi up from school.

Emma: The TRUTH!  Is the tooth fairy real?

Me: *sigh* No, she’s not.

Emma: So you just take my tooth and put money there don’t you?

Me: Yep, Mommy and Daddy just pretend we are the tooth fairy.

Emma: I’m going to wake up and see you guys next time I lose a tooth!

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This seems to be just smidgen of all the little ways she’s growing up!  Make it stop!