Archives for May 2013

Things I Don’t Do

May 20, 2013 by Amy 13 Comments

I’m afraid at times I’ve given the impression that I “do it all”. If you don’t have that impression, GOOD! But, a few people have recently said something along those lines, and well, it’s not near the truth!

I do some things but there is certainly a long list of things I don’t do at all, or if I must, not well.

If you’ll give me a few hundred words, I’ll share just a few.

Balance our checkbook

I haven’t balanced a checkbook in at least 5 years. I don’t even HAVE a check register. We have all but 1 bill automated, never have cash and monitor all activity through our online banking and mint.com account. Several years ago, I would balance the checkbook religiously but it got to the point I got so frustrated that I just threw my hands up and said life is too short to balance a checkbook.

We tried all cash a few years ago but after I lost $100 and Scott got frustrated at having to remember it, we both agreed it wasn’t for us.

We do keep a budget in mint.com and I monitor it closely so hopefully Dave Ramsey is not crying too hard somewhere.

Clean Our House

As a trade-off for working full-time we have someone clean our house biweekly. I know I can do it, and did for a time, but I choose to spend my limited time doing other things. I feel exactly zero guilt about getting help and I love my house every other Wednesday about noon.

Do The Dishes

I’ve mentioned this before but let’s be clear–I rarely wash dishes. I empty the dishwasher and do the dishes if Scott is too busy with a project but the general rule is that I cook and he cleans.

Organize Paperwork

I haven’t filed a piece of paper in years. I keep super important papers in a pile inside of our file cabinet but I haven’t filed anything. The papers in-process I need are in stacks in my desk and in the kitchen and wherever else a piece of paper happens to land. I’m really, really bad at paperwork. It’s still on my list to read 10 Steps to Organized Paper.

Organize Anything

OK, let’s just be clear–I am horrible at organizing anything. My bookshelves are a wreck, my shoes are piled in my shoe rack, the Tupperware cabinet looks like there was an earthquake, my pantry is stuffed and my linen closet is disheveled. Sure, my house is picked up most of the time but don’t go looking too hard or you’ll find my messes.

Get My Hair Cut

When my hair was short, I would get a hair cut every 6 weeks but I’m too cheap and too busy to do that now. So I grew my hair out and last time I got it professionally cut was last summer. I cut it myself two months ago. I actually need to break down and get a good cut soon but just adding this to say I don’t spend hours at a salon every 6 weeks.

Get My Eyebrows Plucked

I’m a home-plucker. Again, too cheap and busy.

Get Regular Pedicures

I’m a home-pedicurist (is that a word–probably not). I might get one once a year at the start of summer but that’s usually it.

Go Shopping – Even at Target

It is rare that I go shopping anymore. Rare. Now, when I do go out, I might spend a chunk of change but that’s only because I usually only do it twice a year and most of it is on the kids. Those darn kids keep growing. My friend Dani feels mercy on me every once in a while and gives me bags of her hand-me-downs.

More specifically, I only go to Target if I absolutely must. I learned in the past few years that it’s just a downfall for me. I want every other thing there and I spend too much money so I deliberately don’t go. I get most of our toiletries free or almost free at CVS and get other absolute necessities at WalMart. And even then, I try to send Scott.

I’ll add a caveat here and say I do grocery shop on my own religiously on Saturday mornings. It’s rare we go any other day.

Remember Appointments

Unless I put an appointment or event in my calendar I rarely remember it. I’m so bad at this. If you are expecting me at a party of some sort and I’m a no-show, please text me and help me save face. The invitation is drowning in some sort of paper pile in the house. It’s not you, party-planner, it’s me.

Remember Birthdays, Special Occasions, etc

And more to the point, I’m really, really bad at remembering people’s birthdays or anniversaries. Facebook is a lifesaver most of the time. But still, please don’t expect cards. I’m so bad at this and wish I was better. It’s not that I don’t care. In my head, I’m throwing confetti but I can just never get myself to a store to get a card or organize my paper enough to put something in the mail. Remember, I don’t even mail my bills?

When the kids have something special at school, I’m the mom running to Walmart the morning the t-shirt is due and dropping it off in the office. Again, the reminder is buried in a paper pile somewhere.

DIY

It is a rare day that I attempt a DIY project. You’ve seen a few projects on here but that’s because it’s rare and it needs documented.

Exercise Regularly

OK, so this one goes back and forth. Sometimes I get on a kick and exercise regularly but other times, like now, I’m not doing anything. We did the P90X for 60 days but then Spring happened. I seemed to trade time with the garden and pool in the summer for exercising in the winter.

Watch TV

I probably need a whole post on this but at the current time, I’m not regularly watching any TV. Yep, I gave it up. I watched The Office finale last week and one or two season finales after skipping the back half of the season. I quit a few months ago and I LOVE the extra time.

Extracurricular Activities

After trying Tae Kwon Do, guitar, gymnastics, art and horseback riding lessons, my girls have spent the past year not doing any extracurricular activities other than school-related clubs. I don’t spend evenings or weekends at practices, games, concerts, recitals or otherwise. Both girls are showing interest starting back up in the fall so we’ll see if this lasts.

Get Up Early

There was a season where I was getting up about an hour early and I loved it. I saw a lot of benefits and wish I could get back in the habit. But right now, I get up when I absolutely have to and usually it means stumbling to the kids room after hitting snooze 4 times. I don’t get to bed super late. I try to be asleep by 10 but I still find myself needing at least 8 hours of sleep.

I could add a ton more here…sew, can food, scrapbook, volunteer at charities regularly, travel often, go to the movies, attend sporting events…oh my word, what DO I do??

I hope you get the drift–there’s a lot I don’t do or don’t do well and I’m nowhere near a super mom.

I don’t list this to shame myself. I just realize I have budget limitations, time limitations, organizational impairments, and personality weaknesses. And I want to be sure you see them too. Please, please don’t ever think I do it all. It’s hard to know these kinds of things when we live screen to screen where you’re often reading my highlight reel.

The truth is no person anywhere is doing their best in every area at the same time.

In the past few years, it’s helped to see we go through different seasons with different roles. When the kids were little I was horrible at cooking dinner and grocery shopping but I exercised regularly and watched a lot of TV because that’s how I stayed sane. Then there are other things, like organizing, that I just don’t think will ever be strong suit for me.

So, let’s just do what we can always do—for ourselves and others: celebrate the things we’re doing well and paint some grace into the gaps.

So fess up, what do you NOT do?

Twitterature – May 2013

May 17, 2013 by Amy 6 Comments

I’m once again joining with Modern Mrs. Darcy for her monthly link-up for books called Twitterature. The premise of this link-up is to share short, casual reviews of books we’ve been reading.

I’ve never read any of Stephen King’s novels but his writing/memoir On Writing was captivating. King was honest and transparent to a fault and I found it refreshing. #MustReadforWriters

The rest of my completed reading is from the eBook bundle.

I love Tsh and her writing in One Bite at a Time: 52 Projects for Making Life Simpler but found it a bit intimidating. I feel like I need to sit down and really make plans for how to incorporate these things. I should probably take a note from the title and take it a bite at a time.

Crock On is a beautiful cookbook. The recipes are easy but scrumptious. #WorthIt

iPhone Photography: The Visual Guide had some good tips, especially around phone apps but I’m not sure it’s worth the retail price. I’m glad I got this in the bundle.

I desperately needed to read Hula Hoop Girl when I did. #BusyMomsBuyThis

Great perspective and tips by Hayley in The No Brainer Wardrobe by Hayley especially if fashion is a struggle for you. Her practical guide to thrift shopping was the star.

Reuse, Refresh, Repurpose is a really fun eBook about reusing, refreshing and repurposing your clothes. Really creative ideas but a bit of sewing experience would make this even better. #NotaSeamstress

Simple Blogging: Less Computer Time, Better Blogging was another one that came at exactly the right time. If you feel overwhelmed with blogging, you need this book.

I’m very curious if anyone else has had time to tackle any of the other books in the bundle!

I’m currently reading Start, Bread & Wine and a Shepherd’s Look at the Good Shepherd. Can’t wait to talk about them next month!

What book have you read recently that you would recommend?

Why I’m Still Rooting for Jim & Pam

May 16, 2013 by Amy 26 Comments

I’m ecstatic to have my friend Mary from Giving Up on Perfect here today. Mary and I are Internet friends but we’ve also met in real life. She was one of my roomies from Allume. Here we are in the Smilebooth but really, we spent most of the weekend together doing just this:

Mary, me, Amanda

Mary and I love chatting TV so a post about Jim and Pam from The Office seemed just about right. But don’t be fooled, though, this post is about more than just Jim and Pam.

For those like me that quit watching when Jim and Pam got married, this post might be a tad spoilerish. But, Jim and Pam are one of my favorite couples in TV history so it was good to catch up with them even if I was spoiled a tad.

So without further adieu, here’s Mary:

When it comes to my shows, I’m an all or nothing viewer. I will watch Every. Single. Episode., or I won’t watch at all. And no matter how many times a formerly fresh and clever show has jumped the proverbial shark, I will watch loyally until the very end of the series. Usually. But every once in a while, I get so frustrated or disappointed with a show that I quit. I erase it from my DVR schedule and try to forget it even exists.

It worked with Grey’s Anatomy. [As long as I avoid those commercials!]
It worked with Big Bang Theory. [We’ll always have reruns.]
It worked with Bones. [As if I’d come back after that surprise pregnancy stunt?]

And it almost worked with The Office.

Once I began watching The Office (after co-workers convinced me I was The Only Person not watching it back in 2005), I never missed an episode. I stayed through the Stanford years and the Angry Andy episodes and the Michael and Jan insanity. I watched – and loved – it all. But when Steve Carell left, the lights went out for me. I came back the next season, but not every week. And eventually, I stopped watching at all. This is The Office’s final season, though. And if there’s one thing that will woo me back, it is a final season.

As I checked back in with the show I used to love so much, I saw major drama unfolding between Pam and Jim. Jim had started a new company in Philadelphia and was spending lots of time away from home while Pam quietly grew more and more resentful of the situation. Was it possible our beloved PB&J weren’t going to make it? As I’ve once again become a regular viewer, I’ve also started reading recaps and reviews of The Office again, too. And I have been so surprised by what I’ve found.

Apparently, after the big wedding in season six, America’s love affair with Jim and Pam started to crumble. And now, after a couple years of grumbling that Married Jim and Pam were boring, lots of those PB&J fans who cheered so loudly for the first kiss and the first date and the proposal and the wedding dance have turned on Jim and Pam.

As our favorite characters have struggled in their marriage, fans of the show became fed up. Depending on who you listen to, either Jim has always been a domineering, selfish jerk or Pam is demanding and whiny and unsupportive.

They protested, “One hug can’t fix a marriage that’s obviously falling apart.”
And they complained that Pam and Jim were trying too hard and their new-and-improved relationship seems forced.
I even read some so-called fans claim that divorce was inevitable, was more realistic and would’ve made a better story.

Well, everyone is allowed an opinion. But I disagree with all of these complaints. Sure, one hug won’t fix a marriage in crisis. But one gesture, one connection, ONE HUG might just be the thing that reminds you how much this person matters and how much you don’t want to hurt him or her. It won’t fix it, but it might be enough to push you in that direction.

As for trying too hard, I don’t see how that’s negative. Though we’d like to believe marriage is easy peasy after we say “I do,” it’s not. And what seems forced and awkward to outsiders might just be two committed people determined to work on their relationship taking the hard steps toward healing. When more than half of marriages end in divorce, the end of Jim and Pam certainly would’ve been realistic. Instead, The Office showed them taking the road less traveled and fighting for the very thing that kept us coming back week after week for six-plus years. The writers chose to give viewers a picture of hope and redemption and created a realistic happily ever after to this sitcom fairy tale.

After Jim and Pam went to counseling and eventually found their way back to each other, I was thrilled. The panic and devastation they showed each of the characters feeling, the commitment to figure it out and make it work, the stubborn set of their jaws and their hearts – it felt SO REAL.

So when they finally broke through all the junk they’d built between them and chose each other, chose to stay – that felt real, too. And, honestly, it felt like the last year of my life. Maybe I’m biased because my husband and I just went through an incredibly difficult season and, through the grace of God, chose to stay together and do the hard work, ending up stronger and happier than ever. But to me, THAT – my story and the story The Office has told us about Jim and Pam – is a real love story. And THAT is why I will never stop rooting for Jim and Pam.

I couldn’t be happier with how the writers have told this final season story of Jim and Pam. For me it’s been one of the most true-to-life and satisfying portrayals of marriage. And, I’m not gonna lie, a Jim and Pam montage – whether it’s the one Jim played for Pam last week or one I found on YouTube – will never not make me tear up. Just watch this and tell me you don’t cry just a little!

Will you watch The Office finale tonight? Are you still rooting for Jim and Pam?

Mary Carver is a writer, blogger, wife and mom. She’d rather read than clean house, she watches too much TV, and M&Ms are her love language. A recovering perfectionist, Mary writes with honesty and humor about her imperfect life at www.givinguponperfect.com. Her posts about everything from dieting and housekeeping to parenting and faith encourage other women to give up on perfect and get on with life. She also writes for (in)courage and is the author of Plan a Fabulous Party {without losing your mind}. You can connect with Mary on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram.

What I Wore Wednesday 5.15.2013

May 15, 2013 by Amy 7 Comments

It’s Wednesday! I share my outfits from the week with The Pleated Poppy’s What I Wore Wednesday.

I pair my outfits with inspirational photos. Read more about that here.

Email and RSS readers are probably going to need to click over to the site to see the pins.

Eek! Can you tell I got a new lens for Mother’s Day? Between that and finishing up ShootFlyShoot’s Photography 102 class last week, I’m really excited about how these photos are looking. And not me, pretty much everything but me—the lighting, the color, the background, the crispness. I can’t recommend the guys at ShootFlyShoot enough. I might just have to do a full post on it–let me know if you want to hear more!

And finally, I had to include another behind the scenes photo of Scott helping me get the lighting right. He totally soaked up all the attention you guys gave him last week. I call this his Trooper stance.

Let’s connect! Like AmyJBennett.com on Facebook (where you can see some outtakes from my pictures). Follow me on Pinterest (where I post these inspirational pictures),Instagram (where you might sneak an early peek of an outfit) or Twitter.

Which Blogging Princess Are You?

May 14, 2013 by Amy 24 Comments

I ran into this article on PR Daily which compares Disney princesses to the life of someone in PR.

While I’ve never been in PR circles, I have two girls and know the Disney Princess world well.

I couldn’t help but think about this in terms of blogging, so I just have to ask: which blogging princess are you?

princess images courtesy of Disney

Ariel – You’re ready for your blogging legs and want to be part of the blogging world. Everything is whozits and whatzits and widgets–they’re all confusing and exciting at the same time.

I wanna be where the people are
I wanna write
Wanna write those blog posts
Posting around on those
[What do you call ’em? oh, blogs!]

Oh wow, I’m so tempted to rewrite that whole song—come on, bloggers, one of you should totally do it.

Jasmine – It’s a whole new world! You’re on your carpet and up, up and away! You’re in love with your newfound hobby of blogging and you couldn’t be happier. Someone could put a whole kingdom at your feet but all you want is time with your blog.

Belle – You’re not Belle unless you love books and it shows in your writing. Belle isn’t swayed by whatever or whomever is popular in the blog world. You don’t mind standing up for what you believe in and see people for who they really are. You could care less if your blog ever gets popular–your fairytale is spending time with words and authentic people.

Rapunzel – You’re creating, creating, creating in your bloggy tower. You have your hair thrown down and are waiting for others to climb up and find you. You look out your tower window at night and dream of the days people will find you and you get your fairytale.

Cinderella – You’ve got cinders on your clothes from all the years of hard work. You’ve put up with naysayers along the way. But, it’s all paid off because you have your fairytale–you’ve found readers who like you for who you are and hope to spend the rest of their lives reading your words.

Sleeping Beauty – You’ve got a blog but sometimes you forget you do! You let it sleep for months at a time but you have hopes one day you’ll really wake up to your fairytale blogging life.

Merida– You’re not scared to let your hair down and take care of business like the big dogs. Forget the cutesy header and sidebars. You have a site, not a blog. You write articles, not blog posts. Watch out world, she’s a writer!

Tiana – You work hard for your dream to have your blog as a business. You attend lots of conferences and webinars and “affiliate marketing” should be your middle name.

Mulan – Watch out! You have WordPress and you know how to use it. You’re the techy geek with all the blogging tools in your back pocket. Your friends know to go to you for the how-to.

Snow White – You’re fairest of them all. You have quite the devoted following but that’s because you know how to work well with others and treat people with respect.

OK, what blogging princess am I missing and how would you describe her?

I tend to think I’m a bit of a Belle, Cinderella and Rapunzel. Oh, and maybe Mulan. I just read this list to Emma and Lexi and they said I was definitely Belle and Mulan and definitely not Sleeping Beauty. Well!

I suspect many of us are a mix but with which do you identify most?

See? How much fun was that?? Share it with your blogging friends, Disney lovers and your daughters—I think they’ll love it too.

A Lesson from Parenthood: Cleaning up Craft Time

May 13, 2013 by Amy 4 Comments

Now that Mother’s Day is over this year, I’m totally confessing: when my kids aren’t home, I throw away their handmade crafts.

I know, the kids would take away the flowers and cards from Mother’s Day if they knew.

But really, I just know if you’re a mom, you do this too. There’s no organization system on Pinterest that could keep up.

Your kids spend hours with paper, scissors and glue and if you’re a really nice mom, glitter, and produce something…sparkly. It really is of no practical or even decorative use but it was a great creative moment.

But then, it’s time to clean up.

You ask if you can throw it away and they’re all NO, I love that random paper plate with all the glitter on it.

I get it, I suppose. They spent a lot of creative and physical energy on it so it’s hard to give up.

And what about all the kids meal toys they’re collecting?

Can I throw away this 3” cow from Chick-fil-a because you have like 14 others?

No, do not throw it away, Mom! I got that from Chick-fil-a. I neeed it.

Really, children?

You’re not THAT mean of a mom so you don’t throw it away in front of them. But we all know–they don’t need any of it.

So, if you’re like me, you wait until they’re out of the house. You gather all the glittered paper and 3” cow. You walk out to your dumpster and and hide them at the bottom, being careful to cover up the evidence in case they take out the trash and find it. You do this don’t you? Don’t YOU??

If you’re not doing this, you totally should.

The other day it was one of those days. I found myself alone and in prime-time for clearing out.

I grabbed a garbage bag and went to town. I finished up and headed out to the dumpster.

On the way through the kitchen to the garage, God whispered. He said sometimes he clears out stuff His children don’t need too.

It’s the things that you want so bad—those things you feel like you neeed. Many times we want to hold on to that thing because we’ve invested a lot of time or energy into it. We just can’t imagine it not being a part of our lives.

But he knows you really don’t need them and you’re better off without them. Sure, they’re probably sparkly—perhaps they’re beautiful or they look fun from the outside but He knows they lead to nowhere.

Or maybe, they were just fine in the moment and served its purpose but we’ve let it stay around too long.

I can think back to times God has done this to me with a person, a TV show, a book, or even food. It’s hurt in the moment to watch it go but in the end, my life is better.

I’ve come to realize God isn’t ok with letting us settle for junk.

He moves us to a place of letting go and throwing away. We might kick and scream when we figure out what he’s doing but in the end, we’re better off.

Has God ever pruned something from your life like that? Does He need to?

Five Minute Friday: Comfort

May 10, 2013 by Amy 9 Comments

image credit

I started reading a book written by a Shepherd this week. He takes John 10 and explains each verse in devotional style, but from the unique perspective of someone who has made a living out of being with sheep.

In one particular chapter he discusses the shepherd’s unique voice. When the sheep hear an unfamiliar voice it can either cause mass chaos and confusion or they may be completely unaffected. One person can say a command and they stare at you with blank stares but the same command by their shepherd will bring instant action.

The book uses this to explain how we ought to hear our Great Shepherd. It should bring us great comfort, always knowing that His intentions are good. He never comes to bring us harm. His voice, no matter the direction, is gladly obeyed.

This trust though is built not just by hearing the voice but by hearing it and then obeying it . The sheep only know his voice is trustworthy by command after command being obeyed and seeing that it is for their benefit.

And so it is with the Lord. I pray that I don’t just know his voice but that I trust it. That it will bring comfort because I’ve obeyed enough to know that wherever he leads me is for my good.

STOP

This post is linked with Five Minute Friday.

What I Wore Wednesday 05.08.2013

May 8, 2013 by Amy 18 Comments

It’s Wednesday! I share my outfits from the week with The Pleated Poppy’s What I Wore Wednesday.

I pair my outfits with inspirational photos. Read more about that here.

Email and RSS readers are probably going to need to click over to the site to see the pins.

Y’all, I missed connecting with everyone last week for WIWW! I was so busy promoting the bundle, I took the week off but so glad to be back!

It’s been chilly and rainy here so I was back in jeans for much of the week.

OK and these next photos crack me up so much I just HAD to share (with permission). It was raining outside this weekend so we had to take my picture indoors. We have terrible lighting in our house so I asked Scott to stand in our room to see if he would stand in while I messed with the camera settings. These have horrible lighting and I didn’t even try to edit them but the pictures are hilarious.

LOL!

Oh my, he cracks me up.

Now, here’s the picture he took.

I’m still astounded how pretty fungus can be.

Let’s connect! Like AmyJBennett.com on Facebook (where you can see some outtakes from my pictures). Follow me on Pinterest (where I post these inspirational pictures), Instagram (where you might sneak an early peek of an outfit) or Twitter.