friends and/or family

Tucker and Bella: A Story of Two Unlikely Friends

June 3, 2013 by Amy 8 Comments

We’ve had Bella now for about 6 weeks. I’ve gone totally bonkers over the little dog. I think the fact that I know I’ve gone bonkers makes it ok. I mean, sometimes people go crazy and they don’t know they’re crazy and that’s when it’s bad.

So I’m crazy and I know it.

I decided with this dog that I wasn’t going to hold back. I think with other animals, I kind of had this mindset like I know they’re going to die in just a few years so I shouldn’t love them too much. And I missed out. So I’m not missing out this time.

If she gets run over tomorrow, everyone will be able to say I couldn’t have loved her more.

I want this mindset with the people in my life too. I don’t want to hold back just in case I might get hurt if I love them too much.

I probably need counseling about this.

But like I said for now, I’m crazy and I know it.

But what has been so interesting about having Bella is the friendship she’s developed with Tucker.

They are cute together. Like, seriously. They could have a reality show and people would watch. Honestly, sometimes when our small group comes over, there’s 10 adults in my living room all just staring at these two dogs interact with one another and laughing.

You need to know that Tucker has always been high maintenance. HIGH. MAINTENANCE. I mean, he’s a lab with lots of energy and he liked to chew everything as a puppy. One day I had to replace TWO wired keyboards because he ate through the wires.

You couldn’t out-play Tucker. He would play with our neighbor’s lab hard for like 4 hours straight and still would be raring to go after a 10 minute break.

Tucker is the reason we had to replace our picket fence with a privacy fence. And since then, he’s jumped over that fence at least twice. I think the Energizer Bunny died and came back as Tucker. Just high energy, you know?

So Bella comes along and she’s this little thing. I thought Tucker might want to eat her when we first got her. But really, he has been so amazing with her.

She doesn’t realize she’s tiny. She really ought to be scared of Tucker but she isn’t. She has so much spunk and goes after Tucker without reserve. Especially in his face. Tucker could snap her in half but he doesn’t. He just lies down and lets her attack him. Ever since she got here it’s like half his energy got poured into Bella and everything got balanced somehow.

She does hit limits with Tucker though and when he’s done with her, he takes his front paw and slams it down on her so she’s pinned to the ground. He does it gently though so he doesn’t hurt her but he’s pretty clear about what he means.

Sometimes he gets super tired of her and he jumps on the couch where she can’t yet get to on her own. Or, if they’re on the ottoman, he’ll hop down to the floor so she can’t get to him.

Bella wakes up with the family but gets tired about 8 in the morning and I’ll put her back in her crate. She will sleep for hours. Tucker gets impatient sometimes and will jump on the bedroom door to go get her.

I haven’t yet figured out if he just hears her before me or he just gets impatient to have her come play again. Either way it’s pretty adorable.

If Bella gets tired before we go to bed, sometimes she just gives in and goes to sleep with Tucker. She curls up really close and he lets her.

Have you ever read the Big Dog…Little Dog series by PD Eastman with Fred and Ted? Well, that’s what I think of every time I see Tucker and Bella. Fred and Ted. Tucker and Bella.

These two dogs are so different but they’re best friends.

There’s something beautiful about that, isn’t there?

For the Mothers

May 7, 2013 by Amy 5 Comments

I watched her, that one mother, chase her fiery boy around the kitchen. He was too busy to eat the tiny chunks of hamburger she had prepared. They had an audience and I wondered if she wished he would just listen when she told him to sit down.

And I saw her, that other mother, take her blond preschooler by the hand and her toddler on the hip and walk from her car into the store. I wondered what it was they needed so badly she had to make the trek with the two on her own.

I saw that one too, with the toddler with the curly blond locks as she put her into the car seat in the back seat on the driver’s side. I heard the protests from across the parking lot and watched her switch her to the car seat on the passenger side where the booster seat waited. All grown up, she was trying to be.

I listened as that mom in the aisle told her daughter not to touch anything and break it or she might have to beat her. I smiled because I could tell she would never do that. We all have our ways of getting our points across, don’t we?

I heard the joy in that one mom’s update when she posted a picture of her two kids loving each other well. I know from experience those moments are to be celebrated.

I could hear the laughter when I read that update from the other mother telling a story of what her little one said that morning.

I sensed the beams of pride as that other mom showed “just one more” picture of her daughter at prom.

Moms, I’ve been watching. I wondered if what they said was true. That you’re brave, and strong, and loving, and wise. That all you really want is the best for your little ones. That you’ll brave supercenters and waiting rooms to make sure your kids have what they need.

And it’s all true. I’ve seen it more times than I can count.

You really are the heroes. The cheerleaders. The doctors. The chefs. The teachers. The cleaners. The judges. The artists. The wranglers. You do it all and you do it for love.

Thank you.

Know that we may be watching from the sidelines but we see you in the race, fighting for every step and we’re cheering you along. Do the thing. Finish the race. It’s worth it.

7 Ways to Recover From a Busy Season

May 6, 2013 by Amy 2 Comments

I’ve been in total recovery mode the past few days. Preparing and selling the eBook bundle (it’s over now!) totally wiped any excess creativity and energy I had. Let’s not even get to the daily life and work life that can zap your energy in a heartbeat.

Not all of us are wired the same so we won’t recover the same but I thought I’d share some of the ways I recover from a busy season.

iPhone scenes from the weekend

Take a Nap

I know this is a no-brainer that you should take a nap when you’re tired. However, busy moms have a really hard time actually doing the thing.

I often get massive mommy guilt that I’m taking hours away from my kids for purely selfish reasons. But listen, resting up is the very best thing you can do for your kids. You’re less irritable, more energetic and make a better mommy when you can rest.

I napped last Sunday while Scott and the kids were home and then took an hour to lie down at my Mom’s this Sunday. I’m better for it.

Take Time Off

I took the afternoon off from work this past Friday. No big plans, just a much-needed break from expectations and more brain power. I shirked any great expectations to clean or organize this weekend. Sure, we did the basics, but it wasn’t the time to conquer that to-do list.

I also let go of making dinners this weekend. We either ate leftovers, sandwiches or went out.

Get Outside

While there’s a time to stay in and sleep, there’s a time to get out too! Friday afternoon we went strawberry picking with the kids.

Friday evening I got out for some coffee with my friend Dani.

Saturday we got out a bit for our town’s spring festival. While it was chilly, it was good even for a few minutes to just get out and see some people.

Fresh air and happy people will do wonders.

Meet a Friend

I mentioned getting out for coffee Friday night. I’ve talked about it so many times on this site, but talking with a friend is one of the number 1 ways I de-stress and relax. I cannot stress enough how important it is to talk to someone when you’re feeling down or stressed.

The coffee doesn’t hurt either.

Read Some Fiction

I don’t know about you, but reading fiction is one of the most relaxing ways to rest. Reading requires zero physical effort (ok, you have turn the page somehow) and your mind can wander to a different world.

I’m currently reading through Glamorous Illusions.

Learn Something New

While I don’t recommend learning something new before you’ve had that nap and taken time off, I would recommend finding something new to learn once you’re on the up-swing.

I enrolled in Shoot Fly Shoot’s Photography 102 this weekend and spent some time lounging around watching the videos (photo above of me watching the videos on my iPad while playing with Bella). The rest was good but it was energizing to learn something new.

For those that bought the eBook bundle, you have a whole library from which to learn!

Renew Your Spirit

God gives us the ultimate rest. His yoke is light. Give your cares to him and fill yourself with his word. Even when our bodies are rested, our souls can be at war and this step is a must if we truly want to feel energized again.

One of my favorite parts of my week each week is attending church and it feels me to full every time worshipping and learning with my church family.

After a few days of relaxation, I’m feeling energized and ready to tackle my week. I hope you had a restful weekend yourself!

What do YOU do to unwind? Tell me in the comments.

(in)RL Conference and Five Minute Friday: Friend

April 26, 2013 by Amy 1 Comment

My intent with today’s space here was to tell you about the free (in)RL conference this weekend. It’s free and you can stay right at home and watch. Or, there are meetups going on all around the world where you can meet new friends and watch the webcasts together.

I was honored to film a tiny little segment while I was at Allume last year. I talk about how intentional I’ve gotten with my real life friends since the (in)RL conference the prior year.

Before (in)RL 2012, I knew that meeting with my friends was fun and I’d always walked away happy but it wasn’t until that conference that I understood it was my lifeline.

I needed community.

I don’t know about you but life builds up inside. One child is dealing with sickness and the other friendships and then your grandmother gets sick and then your husband’s and then work is pressuring you with goals and you’re trying to write blog posts until 1am and keep up with laundry and make healthy meals every night and keep up with teacher appreciation gifts and on and on and there just comes a point where you’re full and overwhelmed and you just need a friend to unload on.

And it’s not to dump on them so you feel a lot better. Because the thing is, your friend has a different list that’s just as long and you dump it all between you and then lift it up to the Father and say take this. We can’t do it on our own. We need each other and we need you.

And this week, I found out one of my lifelines is moving away. And I won’t pretend there haven’t been tears. I know she’ll read these words and I know she’ll understand. Because we’re friends and that’s what we do. We cry when things are hard and lean on each other and the Father together.

I hope you tune in to (in)RL this weekend because I believe in the power of community and friendships. It will encourage you and remind you—friends help build your soul, keep you sane and sometimes give you a great reason to have a cup of coffee.

STOP

I didn’t register last year until 20 minutes into the first session. The last opening session doesn’t air today until 9pm EST. Do it, it’s worth it!

Also, I hope you realize all of YOU are my lifelines too. I share my life and you say “me too” and it helps to keep marching on. Thank you for staying with me.

This post is linked with Five Minute Friday.

Just Outside the Circle

April 18, 2013 by Amy 27 Comments

A topic has been rumbling around way down deep for months now. I keep pushing off writing about it. It’s the raw stuff. The vulnerable details. The things that might make some people reading a tad uncomfortable.

This one is super long but worth unearthing.

Not Belonging

image credit

In many small ways throughout my life, I have felt I didn’t belong.

Don’t get me wrong, I have an amazing family, both immediate and extended. Nothing was glaringly wrong. No one pushed me in a corner.

But along the way, there have been many times I felt just outside of some imaginary circle.

Let me give you some examples.

I was born in Maryland and my immediate family moved to the Carolinas when I was just three. For the rest of my life, I’ve always lived 8 hours away from my extended family. We would make the trek north at least twice a year for the rest of my life, even until now. My family is awesome. Truly awesome. I love every single person and there were only hugs and happiness when we returned. No one made me feel left out. But I did sometimes.

We were the family that lived in the south and the rest of them lived within miles of one another in the north.

When I was 7, my family moved from one town to another. While I did not want to move, I admit the transition was pretty smooth after we moved.

But still, I always had this nagging sense that all the kids had had a few years of bonding time that I didn’t.

In middle school and into high school, I had an awesome best friend and a great smaller circle of friends. I never, ever lacked friendship and for that I’m so thankful.

But I was in honors classes and many of “the cool kids” were in classes with me. Except I wasn’t in their group. Always with them but never part of them. Sure, they were nice to me. I never was made fun of or ostracized. They just weren’t my crew and I admit I always felt a little left out that they weren’t.

As a teenager, we traveled outside our town 30 minutes to a church in Charlotte. The youth group was large and we were heavily involved. I had good friends, even had a few boyfriends along the way. No one ever made me feel left out.

But still, there was only a handful of us that were from our out-of-state-suburb of Charlotte. I had little clue what students were talking about when they mentioned what schools they went to. I hardly knew road names or neighborhoods. While I look back with great fondness on my time there, I admit there were many times that I felt like an outsider coming to the group.

We attended Scott’s church when we were first married and I was the outsider coming in.

In college, I stayed off campus so I was always the one driving in and not really a part of the entire campus life.

Even at our church now, at times I’ve felt like the new kids coming in.

I don’t hold ANYONE responsible for the situations I was in or the feelings I had. They just were.

Not Just Me

I’m sure you’ve felt this before right? Just outside the circle?

Maybe you felt the same in high school.

Maybe now your friends all work and you stay at home.

Or, you’re just sure you’re missing out on all the cool birthday parties for your kids.

Or, everyone is having coffee in small groups that you’re not.

Or, you’re sure everyone else is in some Facebook blogging group you’re not.

The Lies

We all have an innate need to belong.

I was listening to a TED talk recently by Brene Brown and she talks about how a lack of belonging is at the root of shame and unworthiness.

I’ll tell you what. I had a light bulb moment.

These ideas that I don’t belong? Stink of lies from Satan.

All of those places where I questioned my belonging the most, were the most important, impactful relationships and circles.

My family.

My high school.

My university.

My church.

Looking back now, I truly believe these were Satan’s attempt to distract me, depress me and lead me into a less-than life.

Thankfully, I was spared any deep depression but how many interactions and relationships did I miss? How many hours did I spend second-guessing myself?

The Truth

As I look back now, I can see the bigger picture–the truth.

Now that we live in the same town as my husband’s extended family, I see that months, sometimes years, go by when we don’t see some of his family. Just because you’re within driving distance doesn’t magically give you a close relationship. I definitely belong and am close to my family even if they are hours away.

Even my kids that have been at the same school their whole lives go into every year only knowing 1, maybe 2 people in their class.

Everyone in high school feels left out at some point. Or more likely, at a lot of points. We were all just surviving the best we could.

No one in college has a standard experience I missed out on. Some lived on campus, some lived in apartments, others lived with parents, some lived with sororities. It was all different and living at home was just my experience.

Everyone came from all over the Charlotte area to youth group.

Not every single person, at any church I attended, were all “originals.” We all had our stories of how we got to the church. Even if they were, that didn’t mean they belonged more.

When I look now, I see myself not as an outsider, but a unique individual coming to the group–someone who brought a different experience and personality.

Oh, how I wish I had understood this to the full so many years ago.

I think it’s a total lie of Satan to tell us that we shouldn’t be there, that we aren’t deserving, that we don’t belong.

I’m no counselor or expert but I know so many people are dealing with depression and anxiety. Suicides continue. How many times is that related to feelings of isolation and lack of belonging—even if it isn’t true? I’d wager quite a few.

The truth is God puts us in certain places and then gives us certain people for certain seasons of life and he needs us in those places for the very reason that we’re different.

The truth is we aren’t the outsider destined to sit outside some circle. We just might have what it takes to be the missing piece to finish the puzzle.

The truth is there likely isn’t some secret inner circle and even if there is, we’re deserving of it–ALL of us are. We just might not be meant for that circle.

Sometimes we all just need to adjust the lens a bit on our situations and see the truth for the truth.

Give it a try—think back to some times you felt like you didn’t belong and try a new lens on.

Who was right in front of you trying to include you that you missed out on because you kept looking at that group over there?

What did you bring to the table that made you included because you’re unique, not an outsider because you’re different?

What was just a flat-out lie that you didn’t belong but you really did?

I want us all to learn to appreciate what’s right in front of us—to know we belong and are loved right where we are. All these feelings are just plain lies meant to steal the joy of now.

I can promise you this: you belong here. I pray for you. I write for you. I think about you all the time. You’re my here. You’re my now. And I’m so glad.

Have you ever felt outside the circle? How do you deal with these feelings?

Puppy Love

April 15, 2013 by Amy 18 Comments

The following events described in this post were unplanned, unexpected and unexplainable.

Y’all, I’m in absolute puppy love.

Which is weird because I am not the animal lover of the bunch—any bunch.

I mean, I love animals and they’re great but I’m usually more of tolerator than anything.

But the very second I saw this 8 week old Havanese puppy, something cosmic happened. Something like…love at first sight.

I’m sure you can’t blame me.

I brought her home Friday night—Scott and the girls didn’t even go with me. They’d seen her picture and were all for it if that’s what I wanted.

And I did.

I really wanted a dog that would keep me company while I worked at home.

And my goodness, if this keeps up, I’ll just die of cuteness overload.

She’s a feisty little thing when she wants to be.

And is just so darn happy.

She stays at my feet and follows me around like a shadow.

I was a little surprised but her and Tucker are getting along famously.

I admit, I like it a little too much that she annoys him more than he annoys her.

I love when she runs because she hops like a bunny more than runs.

She hasn’t quite mastered the stairs and I hope she never does.

The girls love her too. Emma is an absolute mommy figure to her.

And as the animal lover of our family, Lexi is head over heels.

I admit, I’m becoming one of THOSE dog owners.

We carried her around to all of our errands this weekend and I might have let the girls convince me to buy her a skirt.

And let her nap in a toy cradle.

So with that, I’d like you to meet the newest member of the family—Bella.

For good, bad, smelly or dirty, I just know she’s meant to be a Bennett.

A Video: Is There Someone Who Encourages Your Development?

April 12, 2013 by Amy Leave a Comment

If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen last Friday where I posted I was working on a “creative presentation” for work.

Each year, our company takes a Gallup poll which attempts to measure our engagement at work with 12 questions. We have an offsite each year where 12 small groups present one of each of the 12 questions to explain it and make sure everyone understands what the poll is asking.

This year, the groups were tasked with bringing some creativity to the presentation. No PowerPoints allowed.

My group’s question was “Is there someone at work who encourages your development?”

We concentrated on the effects of positive and negative chatter in the workplace. So, inspired by how Emma and Lexi film skits all the time with their Barbies, we wrote a skit and performed it using the girls’ Happy Family figurines.

We had a really, really fun time putting it together.

The bloopers after the credits are my favorite. And you have to know that the bobblehead that makes an appearance at the end is an actual bobblehead of our manager that is passed out for awards yearly. It was icing on the cake. Also, the Town Hall is a big meeting we have twice a year for updates and recognitions (but no cell signal in the room).

What I really wish I had video of is when I played the video for Emma and Lexi and they giggled seeing us perform with their toys.

And yes, Tucker is the one responsible for Greg’s gnawed off hand and foot.

On a serious note, I couldn’t help but walk away thinking about how applicable this is to our families. Your spouse and children will be more engaged when you are feeding them with encouragement and take an interest in their development. Stop the negative chatter and be that positive influence!

Happy Friday, ya’ll!

Great Wolf Lodge

March 18, 2013 by Amy 2 Comments

In a perfect storm of a teacher workday at school, Scott’s day off and a day off from work for me, we were able to spend Thursday night at Great Wolf Lodge in Concord, NC.

We had a fantastic time when we went for the girls’ birthday back in October and we couldn’t wait to get in another visit as soon as we left last time.

A few things shifted this time though.

First off, we invited Emma’s best friend from school. I still remember fondly the days of vacations with friends and it was so fun to provide that for another generation.

This little friend is quickly becoming a part of the family. I think the girls have spent the night with each other 3 weekends in a row now. She loves being with us and we love being with her.

Also this time, we skipped on the big passes on every activity (bowling, Magiquest, salon, Cub Club. creation station) and let the water park be the star of the show.

The girls spent time splashing around in the pool,

rode the waves in the wave pool,

got dumped on by the infamous water bucket,

mastered the lily pads,

and rode the water slides.

And in between, I was catching up on reading {this is my favorite part of vacations!}. But that’s what I love…I feel safe enough at Great Wolf Lodge to let the kids have a little freedom.

It’s a contained area with a ton of lifeguards that are really serious about their jobs. I didn’t feel like I had to watch them like hawks because I knew there were 3 or 4 other people being paid to do just that.

Thursday night we let them hit the arcade.

where Emma won big at one of the games.

By the time we left Friday afternoon, we were already wondering when we were going back.

I’d say if you have the chance, try to experience Great Wolf Lodge at least once. They have a great area just for little ones and we saw many teenagers having a great time as well. There are 11 Great Wolf Lodge destinations around the country and I can’t imagine it’d be anything less than a terrific time.

Disclosure: Great Wolf Lodge provided a special media rate for our stay