The Unknown Picture

morganamy

I wish I could explain this picture.  It makes me feel very old knowing that I was at some event that made me cry and I can not remember why.  I only can tell you a few things about this picture.

This was either my sophomore or senior year.  Based on the clothes, hair, braces, etc I’d say sophomore.  I also had Mrs. Morgan (shown) for English AP my senior year so it could totally be then too.  I told you, I’m old and don’t remember this picture.

I can tell you it looks like Mrs. Morgan was giving me some type of recognition.  As I said, the only one related to writing was the Southern Sampler I posted yesterday but that was my senior year so maybe I got an award I don’t remember.

I can tell you this was my high school library.

Also, I can tell you my lips look like this

garfield

pic courtesy of Sass

There are some things it’s ok not to remember.   That red lipstick is one of them.

Brains and Love

Six years ago when we moved to Columbia, we moved our building and lots of boxes of our stuff we didn’t need to our IL’s backyard.  Most of the boxes held books and papers from my office and lots of knick knacks we didn’t have room for in the apartment. FIL spent some time about two weeks ago trying to clean out the building and reminded us of all our boxes in there.  I was actually interested in going through them because I recently could not find a journal I knew existed.

img_5022 (I know, bad picture)

Yesterday on a whim, still dressed in my church clothes I decided to check it out.  Well, let’s just say I found my journal and about 3 months worth of blogging material if nothing else.  So many memories from my last years in high school, all my college years and Scott and I’s engagement and marriage.

It reminded me of two things.

One, I am smart.  I know I’m all hot bloggerish and all *ahem* (if anything, pictures proved very different) but I really am smart too.  I kept so many things from school and one after another reminded me of all my accomplishments.  Junior Scholar, Phi Kappa Phi, Upsilon Pi Epsilon, Internships, Honor Roll, etc. Then I went through all my Calculus and Writing notebooks from college and dang ya’ll, I have no idea what that means.  But I did.  At one point my brain comprehended all that.  And just this weekend I was wondering why I was writing a book.  And you know what?  I’m writing because I have a good idea and I’m smart and creative and I should.  And I should do a lot more than that.  I don’t know what but I’m capable and I should do it!

And two, I was deliriously in love with Scott.  And I use the word “was” only because it was that first love, make-you-scrapbooks-and-mixed-tapes kind of love.  And it’s not to say I don’t love him anymore.  After 15 years of being with him, I love him much more now to the point he is almost literally my other half, a part of me.  But seeing all those scrapbooks and yearbook dedications and such was refreshing.

I do plan to blog about a few things I found.  Some funny, some sweet.  But today, I’ll leave you with my 20 year prediction and and dedications from my Senior Paper.

20 year prediction.  Kind of close actually:

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Senior Dedication.  I don’t expect you to know anyone except MD is Melissa , HW is Heather (part of Joshes on HW is explained here) and SB is Scott.  I just thought reading the end 12 years later was a little bit of “awww”.

img_4918

My First Crush

Ok, this should really be titled One of My First Crushes or My First Crush on a Boy at Church or maybe even more appropriately The First Boy I Stalked.

When I was in Fifth Grade (or was it Sixth?), we started going to a new church.  We moved from a church of about 30 to 3,000.  Somewhere along the way Heather and I both developed a crush for a boy.  He. was cute.  But very, very unattainable.  Since it was such a large youth group (over 200 I think) we didn’t really cross paths except to say we were in the same room 3 times a week.  We definitely didn’t run in the same circles.  And we didn’t even go to school in the same state so we never saw each other there either. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever spoken to him in my life.  (Heather, correct me if I’m wrong.)  So I have no idea how we started liking him.  Except did I mention he was cute?

But somehow we obsessed over him.

The sanctuary was large, shaped in an arc with two stories.  Heather and I always sat in the second section from the left, first row in the balcony on Sunday evenings.  This boy always sat in the second from right section about mid-way on the floor.  And for whatever reason, we stared at him the entire time clapping and singing about how God was a Strong Tower hoping he’d look up at us.  And every once in a while he would.  And I’m very sure now trying to see if the two crazies had quit staring.  But how did we poke each other and giggle which further encouraged our stalker-like staring.

I think word eventually got around to him that I liked him.  I was told he said he wasn’t interested.  I was ugly and I looked like a St. Bernard.

stbernard

Either that was a lie, he didn’t know what a St. Bernard looked like, maybe I heard through the grapevine wrong or he REALLY thought we were crazy and was exaggerating so we’d leave him alone which was highly likely.  Because as much self-confidence as I lacked, I knew I didn’t and don’t look like that.  But, I got the drift.  I wasn’t pageant material and he wasn’t interested.

But somehow we never quit looking at him, hoping he’d change his mind one day.  I left that church when Scott and I got engaged.  My family continued to go for a while and I remember going back and visiting and hoping he’d look at me and see how much I did NOT look like a St. Bernard, declare his long-time love for me and carry me off on a white horse.  Needless to say my “love” went quite unrequited.  Especially since we never, you know, TALKED.

And don’t forget to read about Melissa’s First Crush

November 1, 1992

I haven’t posted one of these Vintage Amy Posts in awhile so I pulled out my old journals and will be posting a few…

We had fun @ ML’s party.  We snuck out, but didn’t get caught.  We almost did though.  We watched Wayne’s World & Sleeping with the Enemy.  Well, let’s get to the good part.

M & I went to Carrigan Farms for Halloween with the youth group.  I saw L and went to introduce M to him.  We were down by the lake then and then went up the hill and he left. But GB, M’s dream guy stayed and talked to us.  S didn’t really hang around us that much because she was mad at M for liking G.  Anyway M and G sat beside each other after G asked her to.  I told L to sit beside me.  When the ride first started h put his arm around me and I didn’t think anything of it.  Then he started rubbing my hand.  I was getting cold and put my blanket over us.  Everybody was throwing hay everywhere so M and G put their blanket over their heads and it didn’t look very good.  But anyway, the hay was sliding, so L& I were practically lying down.  By this time we were holding hands.  And @ one point I though the had kissed me on my neck and if he didn’t, something was on my neck.  We were under the covers and he asked me if I had a boyfriend and Heather called me so I took the covers off.  I think he was going to ask me out.  Then in the van we were holding hands.  It felt like it was supposed to be, but I kept thinking about S.  I don’t think S like me, so everybody says I should like L, but I know the minute I see S, I’ll start liking him again.  I think I’ll just wait it out, I don’t know.  When L was holding my hand, it felt good to hold someone’s hand, but I don’t know if I want it to be his.

Amy!

What you should know now:

Wayne’s World!

People, please remember I was 14.  Why I embarrass myself with these, I don’t know.  But I laugh at most of it.  The really scary thing is less than two years from this date, I met Scott and have not dated anyone else.  Yeah…that’s scary stuff. 

If you’ve never read any of these posts or for some reason can’t keep up with my teenage love life, I did end up "dating" L.  S and I sort of went on a date eventually but I don’t think he ever really liked me.

And yes, I really did write the word "at" with @ and really did put an exclamation point after my name when I signed it in cursive.  There are also hearts drawn around this entry.

Honestly, I really don’t remember much of anything in this post happening. I remember sneaking out of ML’s party and I think all we did is walk up and down the neighborhood streets.  I remember going to the farm and sort of remember there being a hay ride but can’t remember any of these details I mentioned.  It feels kind of weird to read about events that happened to you but you can’t remember.

August 28, 1992 – September 14, 1992

OK, this is going to be a “series” of journal entries.  There are several posts on one or two guys that need to be posted together.  So here goes…this is REALLY long so you’ll have to “read more” to get the whole thing.

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