spiritual stuff

Last week while life plunged forward–the podcast, work, sports, ice and late-starts to school.  All the while, my heart lay heavy with Christians around the world over the 21. I have to confess, though, that I only read the headlines and stepped into a few related posts like Ann Voskamp’s.  And then I read Michele’s post. In it, she shares what the Lord said to her after asking Him what He thought of the beheadings and other blatant sin.

Where have you been? I looked for ones who would stand in the gap. While I searched, you slept. While you slept, I wept as they cried.

My people, why have you slept so soundly, and remained deaf to the cries?

I know my Shepherd’s voice and it was there in those words.  I was convicted for my slumbered state.

I printed out the post and I committed to begin this awakening process. I read the post over and over and began to pray to see what it would look like.

See

The first call I felt was to see.

I had purposely avoided the details. Never looked past the headlines, unwilling to step into that world. I wanted safe and clean and not dirty and evil.

The words from Seth Godin I heard all those years ago from Catalyst still echo in my mind. We need more people that aren’t afraid of emotional labor.  Galatians says it’s like this: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” I was unwilling to bear the burden of their pain.

And so, I began clicking through and searching out. What was really going on? And then, of course, the emotions began.

What atrocities. What evil.  How could this be happening?

And the thing was, it wasn’t just to them, it was personal. As someone who identifies as part of the People of the Cross, it was really personal.

And so, of course, my next question after I began to see is what do I do?  What can I, a suburban mom in South Carolina who identifies as a person of the cross, do?

Pray

And then the words from a marriage conference of all things came to mind–when someone wrongs you, you must not just forgive, but bless that person.  That is the way to true freedom.

Luke 6 says it like this:

But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,  bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.

And I wondered what it looked like to bless someone who beheaded your brothers in Christ. What could I possibly bless them with? Was I blessing the evil acts they were clearly a part of?

Then I thought the only thing they could possibly be blessed by was Jesus. Jesus is the only thing that would have the power to transform an evil like that. You can’t self-care your way out of that lifestyle.  You have to be transformed. 2 Corinthians tells us it’s not just possible, it’s what Jesus is all about:

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

And so, that’s what I want them blessed with.  Jesus.

And then I clicked through another headline and listened to the response of a mother of one of the beheaded.  And she already knows the truth.  She says

I will ask God to open their eyes and ask him in our house because he helped us enter the Kingdom of God! Dear, with this good spirit, I ask you to pray for the ISIS members.  Dear God, please open their eyes to be saved and to quit their ignorance. and the wrong teachings they were taught.

My flesh wants justice. My flesh wants them punished. And yet, the Spirit in me wants them redeemed. The mother of one of these wants them redeemed. This is the true way to stop this violence. They need an encounter with the Savior.

And then I ran into an article from John Piper, and he addresses this very thing and not only does he agree with a blessing, he gave me words to do so. Words and prayers I didn’t really know how to form. They are in the form of the Lords’ prayer:

• Father, grant that my enemy — my colleague who snubs me, my wife who belittles me, my child who disrespects me, the ISIS member who wants to kill me — grant that they would come to hallow your name. Grant that they would treasure you above all, and reverence you, and admire you more than anything.
• Father, grant that my enemy would come under the saving, purifying sway of your kingly rule and that you would exert your kingly power to make my enemy your own loyal subject.
• Grant, Father, that my enemy would love to do your will the way the angels do it in heaven with all their might, and without reservation, and with the purest motives, and with great joy.
• Grant, Father, that my enemy would have all the physical resources of food and clothing and shelter and education and health-care and transportation that he needs to fulfill your calling on his life.
• And forgive my enemy his sins, as you bring him to repentance, and make him a forgiving person, and protect him from overpowering temptations, and from the destructive power of the devil.

Salvation, forgiveness, love, resources, protection from temptations. It is the blessing I was looking for.

I heard someone say it and I agree–I’m also praying for a Saul to be raised up. A man that is persecuting the church who encounters a great light and is transformed into a Paul.  A man who can help transform his people for the sake of the gospel.

And so, I am seeing and I am praying. And I want you alongside me doing the same.

Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them. Matthew 18:19-20

Much of last week was silent here, but as I continued to work on the new podcast (update coming soon, I hope!), I was having lots of thoughts about faith.  What is faith? How has mine changed over the years? On the way to work one morning, I recorded a voice memo with thoughts to translate that into a blog post for today.

I sat yesterday and tried to do just that, but all I can say is that it felt like God was scrambling the words for me. The written words wouldn’t come and I’ve felt strongly that I should simply share the audio clip along with these few visuals. I would explain more if I could do it over or edit out some parts completely. I stumble over my words at times, but I do think by the end I got my point across and that is to say that faith does indeed grows and if we let it, God begins to create a beautiful picture of His gospel with our lives.

Push play below to listen. Those in emails or readers may have to click through to listen.

The following visuals will only make sense as you listen.

The “God box”

The black and white boxes

The black and white box zoomed out to see that there is much gray

 The big, colorful picture that God truly wants to paint

It is only because we have such a faithful God that we can have great faith. Seek Him and the rest will come.

While reading The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life by Hannah Whitall Smith, I pause at these words:

There are two kinds of Christian experiences: an experience of bondage and an experience of liberty.

In the first case, the soul is controlled by a stern sense of duty and obeys the laws of God, either from fear of punishment or from expectation of wages.

In the other case, the controlling power is an inward life principle that works out, by the force of its own motions or instincts, the will of the divine Life Giver without fear of punishment or hope of reward.

Ah, the life of the good girl. Yes, I know something about that kind of bondage.

Read the rest over on Deeper Waters today.

Last year, and years before, I made a nice long list of things I wanted to accomplish for the year.  Looking back, I can see where I marked some goals off, but many were downright wishful thinking. I love that Crystal over at MoneySavingMom.com, who I modeled my goals after, found much of the same results. It was just too much!

While she decided to simplify her goals in a similar format, I felt led to go the One Word route again this year.

This year feels like a year to buckle down and FOCUS.

In years past, I always felt a bit like the adoption was hanging over our  heads. We had DSS always watching us.  Jac0b’s room was sitting empty and I was never sure what to do with it.  The future felt like a big question mark. Of course, so much of that settled last year.  Nearly five months into the adoption, I feel like I’ve worked through so much of the confusion and grief of the first few months.  I definitely feel like I can leave so much behind and focus on what’s ahead.

But, I am so easily distracted by many things that are perhaps good, but not best.

As part of the 90 day Bible reading plan that began on the 1st, we read about Eve. She ate the fruit not because she was trying to do something bad, but because she thought it would help her. She thought it would be pleasing. She thought it would provide sustenance. She thought it would make her wiser. And the simple truth is God had said no.

There are so many good things I could say yes to, but this year I want to focus on the things He has put in front of me. In short, my relationship with Christ, my marriage, my kids, my job, our small group, my friends, my writing here. God has been laying the word “podcast” on my mind over and over for a few weeks. So, even though I feel entirely inept, I feel like it’s going to be part of my year. I want my kids to thrive in school. I want them to thrive in their relationship with Christ. I want to make solid memories with them. I want my marriage to flourish.

The phrase “know Him and make Him known” has also been floating around in my heart. If I can filter these important things to me…kids, marriage, job, writing…through that phrase–to know Him and to make Him known, I think it will help focus my attention directly where it needs to be.

Mostly, what I keep feeling is that if I just focus on Him, He will direct my next step in all things.Does that feel like a cop out to goals? Yeah, maybe it does. And I think that’s exactly what I need this year.