spiritual stuff

I told one of my friends on the phone a few weeks back that I felt like we’ve been playing whack-a-mole in our family.  It’s really apparent since we’ve adopted but thinking back, it’s been true across the board.  It seems like every single week there is something new to worry about.

The first week was the food and the next it was his trust of me, then it was the sibling rivalry and then it was, well, sibling rivalry never went away, but this week it is his education and medical treatment. It feels like a game of whack-a-mole where once you think you sort-of, kind-of have one issue tamped down, another pops up.

This happens with our house.   You have a water leak in the bedroom, and then your van needs tires, and then there’s a hail storm and you need new siding, and then the dryer doesn’t work, and then, well, you know, it just keeps going.  There is always something.

Our moles, if you will, lately have been bigger and scarier and very unknown. I don’t know which hammer to use to tamp it down and honestly, in moments it feels like they are too big to be tamped down at all.

I have been clinging to these verses in Philippians:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I don’t know about you, but I desperately need the peace of God.  Guys, my hair was falling out this summer and my dentist told me this week that my gums are inflamed–probably because of the stress!  He didn’t even blame it on flossing they were so bad!

What we need to understand, and what I have to preach to myself, is that not being anxious takes work.  It is not a given.  Scripture tells us it is only when we come to him with both petitions and thanksgiving will our heart and mind be guarded with his peace.

I don’t have this mastered, but I have been practicing prayer in a new way these past months that have helped. It’s tangible and structured and it helps me keep centered on what this Scripture asks of us.  Sometimes prayer is simply a silent conversation, but sometimes I need it like this.

In my daily journal, I make a list of all the good things about the situation I’m worried about.  In fact, sometimes I go further and list any good thing in my life at the moment.  Even if I’m sick, I list the ability to go to the doctor and having insurance and having money for the prescriptions and having a car to drive to the doctor and the job I have to give me the insurance and money.  Even in our lowest moments, we have something to be grateful for.

Sometimes I get through this step and my problem doesn’t even seem like a problem anymore!  A cold? Pshh.  No big deal.  God was pretty smart when he told us to present our petitions and thanksgiving together!  Sometimes gratefulness is all we need to whack our mole.

Other times, we are still burdened.

I write a list of things that are true next.  These are truths that are particular to my situation based on Scripture.  Things like:

• God is all-powerful
• We can do all things through Him
• We are more than conquerors
• God never leaves us
• God knows his plans for us
• God works all things together for our good

Then, I list my petitions.  What are the moles in my life right now?  I’m sick or I can’t find Jac0b a pediatrician or Lexi and Jac0b won’t quit fighting or even,  I don’t know what to make for dinner.  Anything that comes to mind that might be worrying me.

And then, I thank God for all those good things I listed. I tell God all the things I believe about him and then I pray and give those worries over to him–the One I just told was all powerful, all knowing, loves me so much and has good things planned for me. Sometimes I even put my hands over the words I’ve written and tell Him I’m giving it to Him and ask  him to show up. I tell him I know he sees my worries and my desires and would he please show himself in the situations.

And then, his peace comes. There is some sort of inner release that He gives when I truly make an effort to give my worries to him.  I sigh out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding.

If a worry begins to pop up, it’s like those good things and truths act as a shield to deflect the worry.  They remind me to keep my mind on the good things and remember who is with me.

Sure, the moles rear their ugly heads the next day and I have to do it all over–and sometimes I don’t, but Jesus only ever asked for daily bread so I never expect more than that either.

I can’t imagine you don’t have your own moles right now.  Something that you have going that could be causing you worry.  God cannot lie and he promises if we pray with petitions and thanksgiving, that his peace will come.

I got a message from a reader named Lynn this week.  She found me through a mutual friend and she’s been reading about our feather story.  Turns out God had some plans to use it to comfort her in one of the worst crisis of her life.

I was so amazed at God all over again and asked if I could share it with you.  She was more than willing to share, wanting everyone to see what God had done.

Here’s Lynn:

My mom’s health has been declining over the last year or two… But the last 2 to 3 months have really been the biggest decline. Over the last 6 or so weeks she has moved from the hospital… To rehab… Where she fell the day before her discharge and dislocated her shoulder… Back to the hospital… Back to rehab… And then another move back to the hospital for low oxygen saturation. As a COPD’er… She has been in the hospital many many times over the last couple years. This visit didn’t seem much different. She was admitted a week ago Tuesday. They opted to put her on a bipap machine to help her breathing.

On Wednesday morning when they tried to take her off….   They couldn’t. When my brother called me to tell me this, I was on my way to Bible study fellowship for the intro/welcome class so that I could join their study this year of Moses. I chose to go on to class because I would be able to be at the hospital by 11:30am. Due to late start day last week for my daughter, I had to catch a ride with a friend to the hospital afterwards. My friend lost her mom about a year ago… So we actually sat in the hospital parking lot for about an hour talking about the struggles of taking care of elderly parents… The heartaches… The strain on your own personal family… And the turmoil of realizing that you can no longer care for them at home.

I climbed out of her car and headed into the hospital. As I walked up the walkway to the entrance… There in the middle of the sidewalk was a feather. I gasped. I picked it up and so totally sensed God’s presence and comfort. I walked in feeling a little lighter.

I sent JoAnn Blackwood and my other friend Crystie a picture of my feather. They both knew your story. Crystie said she had asked God for a feather… But hadn’t gotten one. I told her I purposely had not asked. I then realized in my heart it was because I didn’t want to be disappointed when I didn’t get one. (Many realizations later… Because I didn’t want to be disappointed with God… Because he didn’t meet my expectations… Like I can’t trust Him when He doesn’t do what I want Him to… Heart journey with The Lord started over that realization)

As I left that day knowing that my mom’s health had turned a corner that I didn’t want to turn … I thought, wouldn’t it be really nice to find another one. Almost to my car… Nothing. Then boldly thought, Wouldn’t it be nice if it were right by my door so i’d know it was just for me. Well… I didn’t find one by my door… But one by my tire and another one by the curb. Three in one day.

On Thursday as I parked again and went toward the entrance of the hospital… I found another one. Then another one. That day we received the news that my mom’s health would not improve. Not only was her breathing issue a critical issue… But she was in heart failure… And what started as a antibiotic resistant UTI… Was now in her bloodstream. It would lead to organs shutting down. We had a very difficult discussion with her about her desires for the end of her life… Whether it be weeks or months. What she wanted that to look like. Hospitals and needles? Or hospice? Or home?

Either Thursday or Friday… I shared your/my feather story with my son that is 24. He looked at me like I was crazy. He left to go to grab a bite to eat… And returned with big eyes… And his own feather. I told him I had asked God to provide a feather for him so he would understand. That night when my son got home to his own house… A feather floated through the air… Right in front of his face… And he was able to catch it. He was floored.

My sweet moma passed on into her eternal glory and home on Saturday. God had given me at least one feather every time I went to the hospital. And another one as I left every day. There was such peace with her passing.

Saturday afternoon after my mom passed, I asked my friend Crystie if she would run to Bath & Body Works to grab me some candles. (She had asked God for a feather… But didn’t get one) she asked God again for a feather even if it’s just for Lynn… And as she came out to get into her car… There in a puddle was a WHITE feather. All of my others had been dark. She grabbed it up and brought it to me. Crystie used her white feather to create a picture with a scripture reference on it… Psalm 91:4, “He will cover you with His feathers”… (A coworker shared this exact scripture with me on Friday after hearing this story). I had those printed and framed for my family.

On Sunday night I gave one to my 20 year old daughter and realized that somehow she had missed this story over the last couple days. She also thought I had lost my mind. When she got home.., she found 2 feathers inside her home. She was floored!! God hasn’t given me another feather since Saturday… But he has covered us with his feathers throughout this whole difficult time.

I shared it with the Pastor that did my mom’s funeral on Tuesday. He didn’t do a great job with your part of the story… He tried… But I don’t think he was able to really get the story to translate to the people there… But it wasn’t because I didn’t tell your story before my story.

Thank you so much for sharing your story… So God could use it to not only provide peace and comfort during my mom’s passing.., but also to slap me with my own issue of unbelief and the need to trust Him even when he doesn’t do what I want. (And I thought we had already been there, taught that lesson… And I thought I learned it)

Much love! Lynn

Y’all, I am just floored. Bless you, Lynn, and your family as you travel this difficult road.  I am so thankful we serve the same loving God that can meet us in the worst of times.

We are not alone in our struggles–whatever that might be.  He sees you, he loves you and he wants to comfort you!

May I be so bold to suggest first thing on this Monday morning that you go watch Friday’s video? I’d suggest you’d watch all of them if you haven’t, but Friday’s will suffice if that’s all you have time for.

On Saturday, I watched Beth Moore’s live simlucast at the last minute. In one of her first sessions, a statement she made shocked me so much that even my sister, who was watching the simulcast at a local church, texted me seconds later “Oh man!!!!” to share her shock.  She didn’t even have to say what it was about it was so clear it was a message for us.

Beth said she asks the Lord all the time to reveal Himself to her and the people attending her events.  Reveal, reveal, reveal.  She said she felt in her spirit last week that He said, “I’ve been revealing myself to you plenty. Now I’m looking to you to respond.” I half-expected her to talk about feathers it was so closely aligned to what He’s been doing in this space.

But I felt it so swiftly, so clearly, so powerfully that the message is for all of us involved in this feather story.  God wants us to respond.

He didn’t do all that just for us to ooh and ahh over it.  This isn’t a Hallmark movie we’re watching. This is the real-deal God trying to talk to us.   He’s been preparing this literally for years–years he’s been orchestrating this proposal to you. And now it’s your turn to respond.

What does your response look like?  The answer could look a million different ways.

Maybe He’s asking for some daily devoted time to Scripture.

Maybe He’s asking for you to finally check out that church you’ve been eyeing.

Maybe He’s asking you to join that small group you’ve been invited to.

Maybe He’s asking you to teach or speak or lead or leave or stay.

Maybe He’s calling you to Himself for the first time.

Maybe He’s asking you to finally trust him.

Only you know, or can know through His word and the Holy Spirit, what your next step is.  What I do know is He’s waiting on you to take it.

My next step is absolutely to get in Scripture every single day–as hard as I looked for those feathers, he wants me looking for him in the pages of his word.

Since the simulcast on Saturday, I haven’t received a single message about a feather found.  It’s the first day since August 27th when I first found the 3 on my walk that we’ve missed a day. I feel a doneness in my spirit about it.  It doesn’t mean no one will ever find another feather and think of this or His word–I hope people do. But I do think he set aside these few weeks to uniquely reveal himself to all of us and to comfort our family during this transition period.

But wholeheartedly, I believe this sanctioned time is over. God is done revealing himself this way. He wants you and he can’t wait another minute.

How will you respond to this God who has so clearly shown how much he loves you, how much he provides for you, how much he wants to cover your sin, how much he wants to guide you, how much he wants to comfort you?  Scripture says he longs for it, but you have to let him.

After her comment, Beth continued to teach on the idea of responding.  She said it’s the picture of a ship pointing itself in one direction and going forward. It reminds me of an eagle’s intensity when it has locked eyes on its prey. It’s extremely focused and will not stray to the right or left.  That’s what this response should look like.  Make your decision and do not point your ship in a different direction until you see it through.

You will be distracted.  You will doubt. You will question. Circle back and read this if you have to.

He’s revealed Himself.  Now let’s respond.

If you haven’t watched any video in the last few weeks, this is the one to watch!  As far as I can tell right now, this will be the last lesson on feathers. The Lord tied everything together today and has a request for each of us.

If you didn’t get time to watch (oh please, do!), please know that God circled the wagons.  These feathers are a reminder of his word in our life.  He is calling us to spend time in Scripture, just as the eagle spends time every day cleansing and preparing his feathers by preening–a steaming and oiling process.  When we daily are reading his word and letting the Holy Spirit speak to us, this is our oil and water.

It is our daily manna, it is our comfort, it is our provision, it is a reminder of His love, it is how we raise our kids together, it is how we remove sin in our life, it is how we soar higher in a storm.  All these things are done by daily reading his word and letting the Holy Spirit speak to us.

I know actually doing this is so hard to do consistently. If you need some next steps:

• IF:Equip is starting right from the beginning of the word in Genesis on Monday.  Make a commitment to read along with them for 3 months.
• Our church “just happens” to be starting the entire chronological study of the word this weekend.  If you’re local, get to North Rock Hill Church. If you’re not, catch them online and learn his word every week.
• I have done the Bible in 90 Days study several times now and it is the number 1 most transformative thing I’ve done as a Christian.  There’s something about reading it quickly that helps you piece together the true story.
• If you have a smartphone, grab the YouVersion app or the SheReadsTruth app.  Both are great resources with reading plans.  Also, the YouVersion app has an audio options that is very helpful.
• If you need something printable there are lots of reading plans on BibleGateway.com
• I also find it helpful to read a Proverb every day that matches the date since there are 31 of them.  You can pick up any day that you missed. So, today read Proverbs 12.

God and all his perfect feathers are there in his word waiting to cover you.  Don’t miss him.

First, I must preface this with how much our hearts are bent towards the rememberance of 9/11. May God be ever so close to those affected by this day. In fact, if you know someone like that, please watch today’s video and reach out to them. xo

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Have you ever gotten an unexpected package on your doorstep? A phone call just when you needed it? A text that made you giggle on an otherwise sour day? An email with an encouraging story? It’s these little things from our friends that sustain us in hard times.

See what the eagle can teach us about being a good friend to those traveling through a valley in today’s video:

Don’t forget to pray for that one person you can reach out to to encourage, even if it’s just to say thanks for encouraging you.

And for those not following on the FB page (you should be!), here is a little logistics update:

I’ve been working on a few pages to help tie some posts together.

1 – A new page with our Adoption Story. It’s all the posts I’ve written over the past years with a short blurb about our story and how we got here:http://www.amyjbennett.com/our-adoption-story/

2 – A new page with the story about the feathers. If you want to catch someone up on what’s been going on, this is the page to send them to:http://www.amyjbennett.com/feathers/

3 – And finally, my favorite. I’ve been working on a page to track all the feathers you guys have been telling me about. If you don’t see yours on here, let me know. If you want yours taken off, let me know! I’m working on a snazzy timeline feature, but this’ll do for now:http://www.amyjbennett.com/the-feathers/

All of these are linked on the sidebar on the blog if you want to refer back to them.

And before I go, I have to tell you someone found a feather on a pew at church on Wednesday night. Someone explain that one! Crazy town!

J

Whew, y’all. This is good stuff today.  Please, if you haven’t been watching the videos, watch this one today.

The eagle anticipates storms and then flies into them, using the thermal currents to fly higher.

We are to anticipate the storms in our lives and find rest in them through the comfort and guidance of the Holy Spirit.

This is the verse I mentioned where wind and Spirit are the same word:

The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit. John 3:8

The first phrase wind and the last phrase Spirit is from the word pneuma that is used in Scripture as both spirit and wind.

Here are some of the verses that I mentioned in the video that we can be asssured of his intercessions, guidance and comfort:

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:26

And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever— 17 the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. John 14:16-18

being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future Jeremiah 29:11 

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.  John 14:26-27

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God. Romans 8:14

So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:16

Wow!  I’m so encouraged and hope you are too!

And just for those of you who are not on social media, lots of feathers are still being found. I found a huge one right in the Best Buy parking lot and then Jac0b found one, very very similar at soccer practice (of course).  And more than that, it was happening at the same time. I took the girls shopping while Scott was with Jac0b at soccer.  Crazy!  I still get giddy every time I see that someone has found one!

In yesterday’s post, I hinted at what I feel was a turning point this weekend. Scott swooped in on Saturday afternoon and saved the rest of the weekend. So much so that when he texted me later Saturday night and asked how it was going, I honestly told him very good.

I talk about what he did and then relate that to another quality of eagles.

As I sit here thinking on it, I remember as I was crying Saturday afternoon, Scott prayed over me.  I believe that the Lord gave Scott that idea as an answer to his prayers–another picture of God covering us under his feathers.   He provided exactly what we needed so we could cover our own little eaglets and provide them with the stability and consistency they need.  He’s so good!

In a desert land he found him, in a barren and howling waste.
He shielded him and cared for him;
he guarded him as the apple of his eye,
like an eagle that stirs up its nest and hovers over its young,
that spreads its wings to catch them and carries them aloft.
The Lord alone led him.
Deut 32:10-12

Scott had another long weekend of work. Friday night and Saturday morning was not pretty.  I lost it a little on Saturday afternoon.

God continues to show us feathers to comfort us.  Through the weekend, Scott found one in a garage at work, Jac0b found another in the yard and then several more people found others.  One special one was from my friend’s son who is also adopted. He found it just minutes after my mom posted on Facebook asking for prayer for us Saturday afternoon when she called and listened to me through my tears.  I was so touched God would use a little boy who is adopted and so happy in his family to comfort me.

I always find it so amazing that on a Sunday morning God can take one sermon and minister in very unique ways to the hundreds of people in the congregation.

He is doing the same kind of thing with these feathers.

He isn’t teaching us just one thing through them.  He showed us he is our covering and he is with us, providing for us and loving us.  He showed us it is manna and ultimately He is our daily manna.  And now, I believe he has some lessons for us to learn from eagles.

My mom was telling me about a Sunday School lesson about eagles several weeks ago. Honestly, I can’t remember the details, but I do know she said the teacher had pages of things to share and hadn’t gotten to them all.

Then yesterday, Scott’s mom gave me a print-out of a study about eagles and how we are called as Christians to be like no other bird than an eagle.

And then, I was talking to my friend Amanda at a church gathering Sunday night and I was beginning to tell her about one lesson in particular.  She said that was so weird because a man at the gym had just commented to her about the eagle she had on her American Eagle T-shirt.  She shared with me a few lessons he had shared with her.  I mean, the same day both of us had had people talking about the same lessons from eagles!  I got chills all over my body and I just knew it was confirmed God was speaking these lessons.

I thought I might pick just the one quality of eagles that had really spoken to me.  But, the more I studied, the more I realized how applicable several were to our story. So, I will take a few days this week to do a series on lessons from eagles.

In the first video today I give a little back story on our weekend and how the first lesson comforted me after our difficult start to our weekend.

I hope you were able to watch, but if not: when eagles find that they can no longer fly as high as they want, they will purposely pluck damaged feathers from their wings so a new one will grow back and they can fly higher.  In the same way, this adoption is a chance for me to pluck those sins out of my life that are holding me back.  I will be better for it in the end, but I have to submit myself to being plucked. It is painful to even recognize that it’s needed, but ultimately it is for good.

A few more resources I have run into lately for anyone that wants to dive deeper:

• Joni Earackson Tada shared about pain and suffering last week at one of my previous church’s. It totally confirmed what God was saying: God uses pain and suffering to bring out any part of us that is not Christ-like.
• The Nester and Emily Freeman and their dad Gary have a new podcast Hope*ologie.  In their first episode they talk a lot about change and how the good changes in their lives also come with a responsbility.  Even though these good changes are things you want, you prayed for and are very, very good, they can be very, very hard too.
• Joyce Meyer also has done a series on eagles and chickens.  I’ve listened to the first one and it’s really good.  Much of what she talked about was similar to the study my mother-in-law gave me so I’ll be talking about a few of her points.
• Here is the study my mother-in-law gave me on Eagle Christians.

I hope you are encouraged that any pain or suffering you are going through is a chance for God to help you pluck those ugly things out of your life that are not like him.  Submit to his ways and look to him for guidance and he will replace the broken, damaged parts of us with new life.

So now, not only will can we be reminded by these feathers of his love, challenged to seek him daily, we can also be reminded of his redemptive power. He’s so good!

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31

And to leave you with a little more hope, I think we may have had a turning point on Saturday. I’ll talk more about it in one of the upcoming posts this week. This morning Jac0b said, “I’m the luckiest boy on the planet!” Oh, how much I needed that! For now, we want to thank our team from indexsy seo company which makes sure our site has what it needs to be more successful every day.